Through a shattered looking glass
by Storywhisper
Summary: Seven years have passed since Alice was last in wonderland. She's grown up. But when she returns from a party to find someone else's face staring back at her from inside her mirror, her life takes a strange number of twists and turns. Full Summary inside.
1. Chapter 1

**AN: Hey loves, this is the new Alice story I've been working on for a while. I adore it and I hope you do as well!**

**12/09/08: As you've noticed (If you've read most of the chapters that is,) I've been slow on the updates. The reason is that I'm slowly reworking some of the already posted chapters, I've been struck with the dreaded writer's block and I've been down a few rabbit holes on the plot. So please hang on and when you see a note with the date on it (like the one you're reading now,) it means something in the chapter has been changed. So, enjoy!**

**Plot info: Over seven years have passed since Alice last saw wonderland. She's grown up enough to believe that all of it was just the insane wanderings of a childs' mind. Her mother has died. Her father is falling in love again. It's enough to drive Alice up a wall. But after returning from a party hosted by her father's company, Alice is surprised to see what is staring back at her through the mirror on her wall. **

**She soon finds herself dragged back into wonderland, asked to save the day, and become queen. All of this by people she doesn't know if she can trust. Then there's the amount of men who she may or may not be falling in love with, but a girl can't love more than one guy... can she?  
**

******Chapter 1**  


Alice would rather have sat through a host of terrible weekend lessons than sit through another minute of the boring party her father had dragged her to.

It wasn't that she didn't enjoy going to parties, and the ones her father played host to were better than most, but it was the feeling of being crammed in a room with a bunch of people she didn't know that made this party a little annoying, and very dull.

The guests were all older than Alice, and all of them worked for her father, so they treated her like she was someone set apart from them. None of them wanted to risk a joke around her in case it upset her and made it's rounds back to her father's ears.

It was also a bit painful to hear people speak of her mother so soon after her death.

Even though it had been a year to the day that Alice's mother had passed away, it was still a painful topic for Alice to listen to. And the people who worked with her father weren't very subtle about it. They would walk up to her and ask her how she was doing, whether she was getting along well, eating right, and whether she liked the new boarding school that she'd spent the school year at.

Her mother had died of cancer, and cancer was a painful way to loose anyone.

Alice had had to watch as the cancer ate away at her mother's mind, the bright beautiful smile that Alice had come to expect had begun to fade into a lifeless version, given only rarely and never for more than a moment or two.

It had taken Alice hours and hours to see her mother give one of the old smiles, and never were they truly like the smiles of old.

The worst bit had come a week before her mother's death. Alice had arrived at the hospital and to her horror she realized that the woman she adored couldn't remember who she was. Alice had stood in the doorway, hearing her mother demand to know who she, Alice, was, and why she was standing there like that.

A year later and that memory haunted the teenager. Though it had been painful, Alice was grateful the day her mother died. It meant that she didn't have to see her suffer any more. Though the loss that Alice felt was something that could never be undone. Never fixed, and never forgotten.

People said that Alice's mother had been the type of person who just stuck in your memory. She'd been sweet, caring, and as kind as they came. Her bright smile lit up a room and she'd been very good with names. You could always count on being greeted by first name when you came in contact with her.

She and Alice looked very much alike in the way that they were both fair and blue eyed.

The party was being hosted to celebrate the merger of two companies, and to praise the employee who'd made it all happen.

Said woman was a pretty, dainty, thing with blond hair and green eyes. In some ways Lilly was very much like Alice's mother, and this was not lost on the teenager. She saw the way her father looked at the younger woman. Saw the way he carefully searched the room for any signs of his daughters before he took the slender hand in his own, his voice booming with laughter.

Alice had gotten over the anger that had come with the thoughts of her father dating. It was her older sister, Andrea that had helped Alice come to an understanding about it.

"Alice," she had said, "You can't live in the past. You can visit, we all do, but you simply cannot live there."

At the time, Alice hadn't known what her sister had meant by such a comment. As time passed and her sister moved away, Alice realized the truth. She'd been so caught up in her mother's memory that she was letting her own life slip right on by.

It was for that reason, and that reason alone, that Alice was standing near the wall, trying to smile, as if she were enjoying the party, even though her mind was a thousand miles away from the room she was standing in.

She didn't want to drag her father's good mood down, seeing as how he was so pleased with Lilly. But it was all rather bothersome. Why did he continue to drag her to these types of things? Knowing full well that she'd stopped enjoying them last year.

"Little Alice," A voice teased.

Alice flinched at the use of a very old nick name, one she'd gained between the ages of six and seven. She turned her head, her hand gripping the handle of her glass tightly, just in case she were tempted to throw it. "Ah, hello, Doctor Knight," she greeted, surprised to see the doctor who had treated her mother.

Doctor Knight was a handsome, aging man. He had black hair that was clipped to the nap of his neck. His skin was a milky white color, a color that Alice couldn't put into words. Perhaps it was the shade of a full moon, but that just sounded so dramatic. His eyes, well the only way to explain the color of them was to be very dramatic. His eyes were the color of a summer sunrise, a mix of colors that blended into the main color, a pure yellow gold. The eyes were his best feature, and when he smiled they were simply breath taking.

Alice didn't know when her crush on the man had begun, but it had continued for a while now. It was like she knew him. But he was one of those memories that just didn't shape up properly. She'd like to think that they'd known each other in another lifetime. But the truth was, he probably reminded her of a character from her mother's stories.

One of Alice's fondest memories of her mother was of the amazing stories she used to tell. Some of them were so far fetched that Alice would break into fits of giggles as she pictured someone acting in those ways.

But other stories were so real that Alice would almost taste the food, hear the sounds of the characters voices, and breath in the scent of a flower garden full of flowers that no human eye had ever seen in real life.

"How are you?" Doctor Knight asked. His voice was another thing about him that Alice enjoyed. It was pleasant, pleasing, and overall sounded amused with life, with everything around him. it always seemed like he thought life was some big joke. Alice loved his voice.

"I'm very well, and you?" Alice questioned. Keeping her voice to a tone her father would have been proud of. Alice had never mastered the speaking tones that the rest of her classmates used. A tone that was high class, but not snotty. Alice preferred to just talk, not caring how she sounded in the end. But that wouldn't gain her any brownie points with her father.

"I'm well." Doctor Knight answered. He looked at the glass in her hand and frowned, "Aren't you a little young?" there it was, that teasing tone.

Alice looked at the glass and wrinkled her nose. "It's apple juice," she admitted, "Father thought I'd enjoy the task of looking older than I am." She explained.

"And do you?" Doctor Knight questioned, "Enjoy acting older."

Alice frowned and cocked her head to the side, thinking about the question. "Yes," she finally admitted. "I do enjoy it. It's like a game, people trying to guess my age. But it can be tiresome." Admitting too it was strange.

Doctor Knight frowned, just a slight movement of his lips. "You enjoy fooling people?" he questioned.

Alice looked down at her shoes, she tapped one foot, and than the other. "I really don't know," she admitted. "I enjoy people thinking I'm someone else."

Doctor Knight nodded his head in understanding. "We all like to be someone other than who we are, its human nature." He reached out and touched Alice's shoulder. "It's almost time." He whispered.

Alice blinked up at him. The gold of his eyes glimmered strangely. It was almost as if he found everything to be a giant joke, but no one else would ever be able to get the joke.

"Time for what?" Alice questioned.

Doctor Knight's smile widened, "You'll know when the time is right," he said. He pulled his hand away from her shoulder and stood straight again. "Until next time, Alice." He turned and walked back into the crowd of people.

Alice frowned after him. Doctor Knight had always been a little strange; perhaps that was what she found so attractive about him. But there were times, like tonight, where she wished he would make some sense when he spoke.

She also had a creeping suspicion that his being here wasn't by accident. It would be just like her father to have Doctor Knight come to the party and see how Alice's mood was, and then report it back to her father.

Alice sighed loudly and looked down at her glass of apple juice. Was it odd that she liked to act older? What seventeen year old like to act her age? It wasn't that strange was it?

Alice sighed loudly and blew a strand of hair out of her face. She stepped away from the wall and started to make her way through the crowds of people.

Crowds were another of the things that Alice couldn't stand to be around. She always felt so out of it when she was in a group of people.

She passed through the crowd and made her way out onto the balcony. The cool night air felt icy on her bare shoulders. She watched her breath leave her mouth in puffs of white fluff. She walked over to the railing and leaned against it, the metal pressing against her arms.

She closed her eyes and smiled.

It was October, one of her favorite months. The air outside wasn't unbearably cold yet, although it did hold the promise of a white Christmas. Christmas felt so long off that Alice really hadn't thought much about it. Would this Christmas be any easier than last? Only time would tell.

"Alice, what are you doing?"

Alice turned and smiled at Anna, her older sister. "Just getting some air," she said.

"Air is free, you can get it inside as well," Anna teased. She, like Alice, had brown hair and blue eyes. She'd moved in with her long time boyfriend, so Alice hardly saw her these days. But of course she would be here to see their father.

"True," Alice said, smiling. "But I prefer 'Fresh' air."

Anna smiled and leaned against the railing. She closed her eyes and tilted her head back. "Seems a lot of work, this party I mean." She whispered, "if they're only friends that is."

Alice grinned, "I agree," she said. She lowered her head and stared down at the garden below, which was lit with Christmas lights. "Seems like a lot of work, for a friend."

Anna lowered her head and looked at Alice. "Does that bother you?" she asked.

"Why would it?" Alice questioned, lifting her head to look at her sister. "Dad is allowed to do as he pleases. He is an adult after all."

Anna nodded. "I think he worries about how you'll react to it," she admitted. "He thinks you'll hate him or something."

"I could never hate him,"

"I know that, but he doesn't."

Alice frowned and looked back at the garden. Was that really how her father felt? Like he was walking on eggshells around her? It had never been her intention to make him feel like he had to hold back on being happy.

"I want him to be happy," Alice whispered.

"You should tell him that. I don't think he knows."

Alice sighed and pushed away from the railing. "I guess I should," though she didn't want too.

"Oh, Alice, wait!"

Alice turned and looked at Anna, raising an eyebrow. "Yes?"

"I found this while empting out some boxes, I think dad put it in my box by mistake."

Alice blinked and reached out, taking the small, red leather, book from her sister's out stretched hand. "My journal?" she said, amazed to see it again.

Each year Alice had a custom journal made for her, and each journal was unique to the person Alice was during that year.

The front of this journal had a silver 'A' on the cover and underneath that was the year that the journal was written.

Alice traced the A with her finger, a small smile moved over her lip. She'd been ten when she'd last used this journal. It should have been in a chest at the end of her bed, along with all the other journals she'd used since she first learned how to write.

"Thank you," she finally said, looking at Anna. There were many things they didn't agree on, and many times they'd fought over stupid things. But any sister who'd go out of her way to return something so simple as a journal, written seven years ago, was pretty okay.

"It's nothing," Anna said, smiling brightly. "I just thought you'd find it amusing."

Alice nodded her head.

She said a quick goodbye to her sister before heading back inside. The night air had chilled her, so the air inside the room felt just right. She looked around the room, at the various faces of people she'd never met, and was pleased when she spotted her father.

"Hello, pet," Her father greeted when he spotted her.

Alice, still clinging to the journal, smiled at him. "The party turned out nice," she said. Feeling awkward. She and her father didn't normally share conversations, they didn't talk about each other's lives, all they did was live in the same house together.

"I like to think so," He said, smiling brighter.

Alice bit her lip, "I just… umm wanted to say that I think Ms. Lisa is very nice." She mumbled, stumbling over her words.

Her father looked surprised, "I'm… glade you think so." He said. There was something in his eyes, an unasked question.

"Is it alright if I head back to the house now?" Alice asked.

Surprise showed on her father's face. "I thought you were enjoying yourself?" he asked.

Alice could have kicked herself, of course it would seem like she wasn't enjoying herself if she asked to leave early. "It's not that," she said, laughing gently. "It's just that these shoes are killing me."

Her father looked down at her shoes. Which were silver high heels, embedded with red gems that matched her strapless dress. "Oh," he said.

Alice smiled. "So, you don't mind?" she asked.

He shook his head, "Not at all," he lead forward and gave her an awkward hug.

The father daughter act was more for the benefit of the guests who stood around them. Normally Alice would have simply walked away and not said much of anything to her father. But tonight she hugged him back, pretending to be the perfect daughter that everyone liked to imagine her to be.

Alice paid the Taxi driver and stepped onto the curve. She turned and looked up at the large brownstone building in front of her.

It was very typical for this part of town. It had been Alice's home since she'd been three years old, when her mother and father had seen fit to move away from their London town house.

Alice liked the building. It was hold and had a couple secret rooms. Rooms that had been boarded up for whatever reason.

She reached into her bag and drew out her house key. She put it into the lock and turned. The door opened into the entry hall.

If there were ever something that was a lasting memory of her mother it would have to be the entry hall. The hall floor was done up in red carpet. The wall was painted a rich caramel color, and the table beside the door was oak.

Alice smiled, slipped her shoes off, and walked into the main area of the house. There were days when she would arrive home and expect to hear her mother's laughter coming from the kitchen, the smell of something sweet cooking.

Alice headed up to her bedroom, which was on the third floor. She opened her bedroom door and turned the light on. Her room had been the same since she was ten. Cream colored walls, black bed sheets, and a random assortment of pictures tapped to the walls. The pictures documented Alice's change over the years. Some were hand drawn, others were printouts. Others still were movie posters, some childish, some adult. And there were, of course, a few pictures of her favorite bands and actors.

The room was the only place in the house that Alice could completely call her own. She'd picked the paint colors, though she wouldn't mind a change, and she'd picked out each piece of furniture. It was her space.

She walked over to the bed and dropped her back pack onto it. with a small sigh she turned and walked toward the bathroom door. She pushed it open and flipped the light switch on.

The room filled with a soft light. It was a plain bathroom with a standing shower, a sink, all of these had silver fixtures.

She stepped in front of her mirror and frowned at her appearance. She was naturally pale, something she'd gained form her mother. And her brown hair was done up in a mass of curls piled high on top of her head. Her blue eyes gazed out at the world with a tired bit of age to them.

She was dressed in a sleeveless red dress, it reached just pass her knees. It was all rather lovely, but bothersome as well.

Alice reached up and began to take the pins out of her hair. it took a while until all of the pins had been safely removed and she was able to shake her hair out. she reached behind her and snagged the zipper of the dress. She wiggled is down and slid out of the dress. She stripped out of her bra and underwear and walked over to the shower. She turned the water on and waited for it to reach the right temperature. When that was done she stepped into the hot spray, which relaxed her better than anything.

She leaned her head against the tiles and simply let herself stand under the spray for a while. After she felt boiled, she reached behind her and got a handful of shampoo. She worked it through her hair, until she was sure it would be enough to get the hair products out.

After using conditioner and scrubbing her body down she stepped out. She grabbed a towel and wrapped it around her wait.

She wasn't small, but she wasn't large. If she had to be something she'd say she was quite normal on the weight issue. Partly because she couldn't stand overly sweet foods, so it wasn't hard to not eat sweets.

She walked back into her room. She went over to her bed and sat down, mindful of her towel. She reached out and grabbed her bag. She unzipped it and pulled her journal out. it wasn't her style to reread journals, and the journals from the last couple years only served to depress her more than she already was.

This journal had been written the year before her mother had been diagnosed with cancer. It was the last peaceful, childish memory that Alice had.

She undid the clasp on the front and blinked back her surprise. The first page of the book had one carefully scrawled word on it.

WONDERLAND.

One word that brought back a life full of memories.

Alice grinned and flipped the page and began to read, thumbing through the words she'd written years ago.

Wonderland was a storybook world she'd dreamt up. And her mother had helped her make it complete. She'd listened to Alice's explanations of the characters, and added her own insight to it all. She'd also helped Alice deal with the many adventures…

Alice frowned. For a moment she'd almost thought that she'd lived out the adventures that were written in the book. She shook her head in amusement. Perhaps her childish brain had believed those things were real.

She paused over bit of character info. "The Queen of hearts." The name sent a chill down Alice's spine. She could almost see the woman's face, the carefully painted lips curled into a sneer.

"Alice, my dear, Alice,"

Alice slammed the book shut, breathing hard. She felt ill. She turned and got to her feet. She walked toward the dresser but stopped short.

Frowning she looked at her full length mirror. It looked normal, or as normal as a mirror could be when it was reflecting someone who wasn't there.

Alice continued to stare, confused, and afraid. Slowly, clutching her towel tightly, she stepped forward and peered into the mirror, not believing what she was seeing.

There was a man reflected in her mirror. But he wasn't a normal man, if anything he was the most brilliant looking man that she'd ever set eyes on. His eyes, which peered out from behind a mask, were the perfect mix of pink and red, with black lines inking out. his skin was a perfect white color, the same shade as Doctor Knights, liquid moonlight. His hair was also white, but that seemed to plain a word for it. If anything, it was if someone had caught moonbeams and strung them out into hair. the hair flowed down his back, clipped at the nap of his neck by a ruby embedded hair clip.  
He was dressed in a simple red shirt, a black heart embedded over the left side of his chest. He wore black pants, which tucked into a pair of black boots. The boots had the same strange heart shape on the sides of them.

The most interesting thing about him was the mask. It was shaped like the face of a rabbit and covered his whole face.

Alice swallowed hard. She cocked her head to the side, breathing softly. She was afraid that if she blinked he'd vanish. There was also a part of her that was more afraid of what would happen if he 'didn't' vanish. And another worrisome thing was the fact that his name was on the tip of her tongue. But she must have been wrong. There was simply no conceivable way that this man was the same man she was thinking of.

But it had to be him.

"White," Alice whispered, "The White Rabbit." She breathed out his full name, afraid. But more afraid to keep it bottled up in side.

The man, White, or Rabbit to his friends, slowly cocked his head to the side. "Alice," he answered. His voice muffled by the mask. The voice was eerily soft, calm, and collected. Nothing bothered him.

"You're not real," Alice whispered. She took a step back from the mirror, still clutching her towel.

White's eyes seemed to crinkle. He was grinning. "Come now," he said, his voice housing his amusement. "Would you like it if I told _you _that you weren't real?"

Alice frowned. "But… you're a story!" she shouted. "Nothing but a story!"

"Don't shout. It isn't lady like."

Alice groaned. "Do you think I care about being lady like?" she demanded. "How are you… here… or not here… umm… what is going on?" she said, finally settling on the best question to ask.

White chuckled. "I've always been here," he laughed. "You just didn't see me."

Alice clutched her towel tighter, "Always?" she questioned.

White laughed loudly. "Of course, you would think of that." He said, shaking his head. "I don't spy." He added.

Alice flushed and looked down at the floor. "Why are you here now?" she asked.

"I need you,"

Alice's head snapped up, "Need me?" she questioned. Her cheeks darkened even more.

White was obviously smiling now. "Yes." He said. "Not just me. Wonderland needs you."

Alice cocked her head to the side. "It's real?" she questioned. "Wonderland is a real place then?"

White nodded. "It is. And you should very well know that." He reached out and placed his hand on the glass. "You created it after all."

The place where his hand touched began to ripple, and the ripples spread down the face of the mirror, shimmering strangely.

"I did, did I?" Alice muttered. "Strange how that slipped my mind. Think you'd remember, creating a whole world."

White chuckled again. "Wonderland is for children." He admitted. "It's normal for each child to forget their wonderland as they age and grow, only natural."

"If that's true, than why do you need me?"

"Because. Wonderland is dying. Not just your wonderland, but the world that plays host to each wonderland has become infected. It's dying, Alice."

Alice swallowed hard. "And what can I do?" she questioned.

White stepped back from the glass. He reached out, his hand out stretched. "Come with me."

Alice shivered. "I… This is insane." She whispered.

"It's pure madness," White laughed. "There has only been one adult to enter wonderland… and that went _so _well." A bitterness crept through his voice.

"What do you mean?" she asked.

"Alice, we don't have time for this!" White said, a frantic tone to his voice. "We can't delay or we'll be very late. We cannot afford to be late for this."

Alice looked at him for a moment. His hand was still outstretched. "I still don't believe this is happening." She admitted.

White smiled. "You don't have to believe me. But _seeing _is Believing." He added. He curled his fingers, gesturing her forward.

Alice swallowed again. She breathed through her nose. Suddenly, seeing the look in his eyes, she became very aware of the fact that she was in a towel. "Can I get dressed?" she asked.

White's shoulders shook with laughter. "Alice," he said. a note of warning to his voice. "We're late."

Alice groaned. "You're an ass," she stated. Stepping closer to the mirror. She hesitated before reaching out to touch the tip of her fingers to the glass. It rippled. The glass should have felt solid, for some strange reason she'd thought it would feel solid under her fingers, when in fact it felt almost like a very thick form of water. She pressed her finger tips against it and watched them sink it.

For a couple seconds she let herself wonder if someone had spiked her apple juice as some cruel joke. But the fact that she knew who White was sort of helped solidify the fact that this wasn't drug induced.

"Coming?" White teased, cocking his head to the side. He once again bent his fingers in a 'come along' gesture.

Alice glared. She pressed her hand fully against the glass, and whimpered when her fingers slipped through it. it was scary, watching her hand slid into what should have been solid glass.

White reached forward and took her hand.

His hand felt so solid and real. It was warm, and covered in deep calluses. This seemed odd because Alice clearly remembered that White was the scribe for Wonderland's main library. It was his job to write up the entire history of wonderland.

His fingers curled around her hand and gave a small tug.

Alice sighed and stepped forward, letting White pull her through the mirror. "It's an improvement," she muttered.

White smiled, "Over what?" he asked.

"Over a Rabbit hole."

White began laughing. "I seem to remember that you rather enjoyed that rabbit hole."

"As a child perhaps." Alice said. she stepped over the lip of the mirror, her foot sliding through the mirror.

Finally she stood fully on the other side of the glass, facing White. Her heart was in her throat. She turned her head and looked back at her room, which suddenly seemed so warm and welcoming. Well, anything would be more welcoming than standing in a long dark hallway with a masked man. It sounded like something out of a cheap romance novel.

"We're going to be late," White whispered, His fingers brushing against Alice's shoulder.

Alice turned back around and realized that White had stepped closer to her. He was totally invading her personal space and suddenly she'd rather have been back on the other side of the mirror. She made a face, "Personal space means nothing to you, does it."

White chuckled, "Come on," he said. he kept his grip on her hand and began to back away down the hallway.

Alice cast a final glance at her room before letting her self be dragged into the dark hallway.

They walked for a while before White finally let go of her hand.

Alice knew the only reason he did this was because he felt comfortable that she wasn't going to run back to her bedroom. Though secretly she wished she could.

They'd turned down a couple corridors, and there were a great many of those that they'd passed without turning down them. Alice sincerely doubted that she could find her way back to the mirror, and there was obviously no way that White was going to help her with that.

From what she remembered, White had always been the type of person to work toward a certain goal without caring whom he had to use to get it. It had bothered Alice when they'd first met… though it was strange to say that because those years felt like a dream, a nice daydream that wasn't a daydream at all. She didn't know how to feel toward him now, now that she was an adult.

White walked in front of her. His boots clipped loudly on the stone floor. His white hair seemed to be giving off it's own light, which was a strange comfort, like a candle shining out of the darkness, or maybe a Willow the wisp'.

The corridor was bleak. The walls and floor were made out of the same black colored stone. There was light coming from somewhere above, but it was so high up that Alice couldn't pinpoint what was giving it off.

"White," Alice called out. "What is this place?"

"It's part of the Twilight realms." White explained, not looking back. "It's the place where adults are able to dream. Adults loose their ability to travel to Wonderland when they grow up. This place connects to wonderland, but it's full of so many corridors that no adults would be able to find the one door that leads to wonderland."

Alice frowned at that. "So if I ever found my way to this place, and was aware of what it was, I wouldn't be able to find wonderland?"

"If anyone would find their way through these corridors it would be you." White teased. He chuckled and looked back at her. "Wonderland loves you."

Alice blinked, "I'm missing something, aren't I."

"You miss very little, that's always been your problem."

Alice grinned, it sounded like something her father would say about her. "Where are we going, if you don't mind me asking."

"Wonderland." White answered. "I told you."

"Will it take long?"

"Only as long as it takes."

Alice huffed, "Weren't you just complaining that we'd be late?"

"Yes, but that was to get you to hurry," White said. he reached into his pants pocket and drew out a lovely silver pocket watch, the top of the watch was embedded with the same heart design as the rest of him. he flipped it open and looked at the time. A frown moved over his lips. "Perhaps we will be late after all." He admitted.

Alice cocked her head to the side, "The design on your watch, what is it?" she asked.

"It's the queen's symbol." White answered stiffly. There was something underneath the icy tone that he'd taken, something very dark.

"The… Queen? Not the Queen of hearts…" Alice trailed off.

"No… That queen is long dead." White whispered. "This queen is very much alive… and perhaps she is a worse queen than Hearts would ever have dreamed of." He shook his head.

"A worse queen than Hearts… is that even possible?"

"Hearts was cruel, maybe insane, but she thought of what was best for Wonderland as a whole. This new queen… she only cares about her self. As long as she is happy, wonderland can burn to the ground around her." White sounded bitter.

Alice sighed loudly. "She sounds lovely."

White turned and looked at Alice, his eyes peered out from behind the mask. There was something in his eyes, an expression that was unnamable. "She is." He admitted. "She truly is."

Alice opened her mouth to say more when something happened. The ground under her feet began to shake. She stumbled, her hand pressed against the wall. "What's happening?" she shouted.

White turned, "She knows!" he snapped, "Damn it! I thought I could get you through here safely!" he rounded on Alice, fear danced in his eyes.

"White!" Alice yelled, "What is going on!"

"It's The Queen!" White shouted. He was yelling over the rumbling sound that was echoing around the corridor. "The pass is collapsing!"

Alice looked behind her and paled. The walls behind her were beginning to crumble away. "What do we do?" she demanded.

"The only thing I can do!" White snapped. He took something out of his pocket. It looked like an orb full of moonlight. He looked at Alice a moment. "I'm sorry." He whispered. "I'm very sorry."

He grabbed Alice's hand and shoved the orb into it, he forced her hand to close tightly around it.

The orb shattered in her hand and the moonlight spilled and down to swirl around Alice's feet. The ground under her began to ripple, just like the mirror had, and Alice began to sink into it. "White!" she screamed.

White looked at Alice, his eyes were filled with something unspoken. "I'll send someone to find you!" he screamed, "Just… stay on the path!"

Alice wondered what he meant. But she didn't get a chance to ask. She sank into the floor, the strange sensation of falling through the thickness of it was annoying. And suddenly there was nothing. No floor, not thick water. Just thin air.

She was falling. She had a second to hope that there was something soft to land on before the blackness washed over her.


	2. Chapter 2

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It took a while before Alice became aware of the fact that there was a twig sticking her in the back. She blinked a couple times and sat up. She felt groggy and a little slow, but she was also very aware of the fact that her towel was gone. Her arms shot up to cover her breasts. She felt heat rushing to her face, turning it red, before she started looking around at her surroundings.

She was in a small clearing, at the edge of a large lake. The water on the lake was black, almost like ink, although where it swished against the shoreline it was clear. There were many large rocks decorating the shore. The rocks were black, the same color as the tile in the tunnel.

Behind her was a forest. The trees stretched high into the sky; with leaves colored in autumn. The forest looked very unwelcoming, like something from either a horror movie, or the beginnings of a bad dream.

Alice couldn't decided whether to cry or to curse. A couple of the questions that went through her mind were, where was she? And why did she have to loose her towel at a time like this?

Before she could get much further than these thoughts, a strange sound split the silence.

It sounded like someone trooping through the forest, breaking twigs and other pieces of wood with each step.

Alice drew her knees up to her chest and wrapped her arms around them. Sitting on the ground like this was the most uncomfortable thing she'd ever had to do. But it was better than showing off things that were better left unseen.

The sound of twigs snapping, leaves rustling became louder and louder until at last, a figure appeared at the edge of the woods.

He was a little man with a long beard. He was dressed in a ragged blue work shirt, and overalls. Large boots covered his feet. He frowned when he caught sight of Alice.

"What are you doing out here?" he demanded.

Alice frowned, "I really have no clue," she admitted. She almost giggled at the fact that he was such a small man to have made such loud fuss.

The man huffed and walked forward, "Didn't know girlies liked going around without clothes." He chuckled.

Alice glared, "I… I didn't really have much of a choice!" she snapped.

The man snorted, "Do you want me to help or no?"

"I want clothes," she muttered.

"Don't really got anything in your size," The man muttered. Looking her up and down.

Alice made a face when she noticed the expression on his face. Hunger. He was looking at her as if she were a piece of meat. It was rather uncomfortable. "Than you can't help me, can you." She snapped, angry with the tease.

"Well, maybe I know someone who'd have clothes for a pretty lady like you," the man mumbled. "I'll get him if you ah… do me a little favor of two."

Alice made a face, "Keep dreaming," she spat. She turned away from him and glared out at the water, "I'm going to kill White when I get my hands on him!" shook her head in anger, feel embarrassed and disgusted at the same time.

"White?" The man hissed, "What are you doing hanging around with the likes him?"

Alice looked at the man, "White's the reason I'm here. I was with him when that weird tunnel collapsed."

"Damn it, you're her," the man snapped, stomping his foot. "Stay here." He turned away and raced back into the woods.

Alice watched him go with an annoyed glint in her eyes. "Where else would I go?" she mumbled. She was butt naked after all and running around the woods didn't appeal to her at the moment.

She didn't know how long she sat there. But the silence was beginning to scare her. There was no sound of birds chirping, or even things splashing in the water. The lack of life was strange, and disturbing.

Her memories of Wonderland told her that it should be full of life, of beauty, but this strange gloomy haze was everything wonderland should not be.

"Nice to see you again, Alice."

Alice jumped, the sudden breaking of the silence frightened her, she turned her head and look at the man who'd just appeared. He hadn't walked out of the woods, he'd simply popped into being beside her, out of thin air. "Cheshire," she greeted, seeing as there was no one in wonderland who had his natural skill of appearing from nothing. She couldn't decide if his being here was a good thing or a very, very bad thing.

Cheshire hadn't changed all that much from the memories that Alice had of him. He still dressed in, what she now knew, was gothic club wear. A tight black sleeveless shirt, tight black leather pants and boots, the boots had silver clips on them that held the red lace in place, preventing it from untying at the wrong moments. Gloves went from his hands to his upper arms but left his fingers bear. And a black collar completed the look, the collar had an orb hanging off it in place of a name tag or a license. His hair was black, but not the normal human blank; his was the color of midnight and it carried purple highlights in it, it was insanely long and tied in a braid that trailed down to his thighs. It had some twigs caught in it and didn't look very neat and orderly. His skin was pale but it wasn't the moonlight color of White's skin, it was a human pale, and a little sickly looking, a yellowish glow seemed to come off it.

His eyes were what sealed the whole 'not human' thing. They were lilac colored, with specks of silver mixed in for good measure. His face had been pretty, now it was weather beaten and tired looking, he'd also aged quite a bit. The soft, boyish look had been changed, his bone structure was harder, more adult, and without question, Male.  
He wasn't grinning, in fact he looked like he hadn't had a reason to smile in a very long time. His face and body, while still well cared for, was gaunt from lack of food. He looked at Alice with something close to amusement in his eyes, though it fell short.

"Naked." Cheshire said simply, one word that had Alice's cheeks burning a dark red color. A ghost of a grin appeared on his face when he noticed the blush. "Why doesn't that surprise me?"

Alice rolled her eyes. "Don't start." She muttered, reaching one hand up to rub at her hot cheeks. "I've had a really bad day."

"I'll say,." Cheshire laughed. "But you've had a really, really bad week."

"Week?"

"White brought you through a week ago," Cheshire explained. "We were beginning to think that you'd been stuck between worlds."

"Does that happen a lot?" Alice asked. Worry and annoyance creeping into her voice.

"Only when someone tries crossing over without a guide. They end up lost." He shrugged as if it were an everyday thing. "But here you are, guess Wonderland really does want you back." There was tone to his voice that said he personally either didn't agree with it or thought it very foolish.

Alice looked at him for a second, trying to make sense of his sudden dislike of her. "You wouldn't happen to have clothing with you, would you?" she said, deciding to ignore him.

"White did mention that," Cheshire said, his grin widening. "Said you started off in nothing but a towel."

Alice glared, her cheeks beginning to redden again, "Yeah, I really need to talk to him about that." She mumbled, "making a girl jump out of the shower and then dragging her into wonderland… not cool."

Cheshire snickered. He reached out into the air in front of him. His hand vanished into some pocket of invisible space. He leaned forward and more of his arm vanished. He tugged at something for a second before pulling his arm back out. He was now holding a bag.

Alice blinked, "That's really… useful," she admitted.

Cheshire grinned again, "Very much agreed." He opened the back and pulled out a couple items. "White got these from your room. He hoped they were right."

Alice watched as Cheshire drew out her bra, a pair of lace underwear, jeans, and a tank top. "Perfect…" she mumbled. She was past the ability to be embarrassed. There was simply nothing left to be embarrassed about. She was sitting naked in front of a somewhat handsome man, and he was holding her underwear. She'd gone beyond her ability to be embarrassed, all she could do was deal with whatever was yet to pop up.

"Can you hand them to me?" Alice muttered.

Cheshire's grin returned at that. It was a full grin, like someone had turned a light on inside him. "Why don't you get up and get them?" he teased, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.

Alice glared. "Not funny," she muttered, rubbing her cheeks again. "Give."

Cheshire rolled his eyes, "fine, fine." He muttered. He walked a couple feet forward before he tossed the clothes to her, still grinning.

Alice had no choice but to unwrap her arms, reach out, and gather up the clothes. "Turn around," she ordered.

Cheshire smirked but did as he was told. He turned so his back was facing her.

Alice stood up and slipped into her underwear. The black lace wasn't what she'd have picked if she'd had her choice; in fact the whole lot was made up of things that she wouldn't have picked her self.

When she was finished dressing she glanced over at Cheshire, his back was still facing her. For some reason that surprised her, she'd figured that he'd be the perfect little pervert. "Okay, you can turn around now." She said.

Cheshire turned around and cocked his head to the side, "Not half bad," he said, "A little makeup and you'd be a right gorgeous lady." There was a tease to his voice, as if he knew how much that would annoy her.

Alice huffed loudly and walked over to him, her bare feet seemed to be finding every little stone. "Is there some reason that I don't have shoes?"

"None of them were suitable for wonderland." Cheshire said, "You'd break your neck in heels."

Alice stared at him, "You do know I have sneakers, right?"

"Don't blame me, I wasn't the one who got clothes for you." Cheshire said, shrugging his shoulders.

Alice shrugged, "You wouldn't happen to have an extra pair, would you?"

"As a matter of fact I do," Cheshire admitted, "But you'll have to walk a bit to get to them."

"Can't you do that vanishing thingy and go get them?"

"It doesn't work like that."

"Well it should." Alice muttered. She sounded pitiful, even to herself.

"It's about a mile through the forest. You can make it, can't you?"

Alice nodded. "Yeah, but I'm not going to be happy about it."

"I didn't ask if you'd be happy. I asked if you could make it. There really is a big difference, believe it or not."

Alice tried to muster the strength to give him a world-class glare but gave up when she realized that she really had no energy left. She was tired and she felt like she'd been hung out to dry. She walked over to him and studied him closely. He had really lost weight, his clothes, while still tight, were hanging looser than any clothing she'd ever seen him wear before.

"You're staring," Cheshire commented.

Alice looked up at him. "You've gotten mangy." She stated.

Cheshire stared at her, mirth danced into his lilac eyes. "And you've got as much tack as ever." He said.

Alice grinned. "Where are we going?" she asked.

"My house," he answered.

Alice's eyebrow rose, "You have a house?"

"What do you think?"

"I think you're lying through your teeth," Alice laughed, "But I'm too tired to care."

Cheshire smiled. He held out his elbow, "May I escort the lady?"

"Sure," Alice linked her arm through his.

They walked into the forest.

Alice soon realized, after they reached the main pathway, that her worry of having no shoes was all for nothing. Hidden in the woods was a path that had been so worn down by constant use that nothing would grow on it for years, so there was no worry of stubbing her toes, or cutting her feet on random twigs.

"I'm tired…" Alice said, more herself than Cheshire. She couldn't help looking up at the canopy of trees.

"You're not used to Wonderland yet." Cheshire explained. "Wonderland is a place of childish dreams and wishes. Adults' don't belong here."

"Then why did you guys bring me back here?" Alice demanded, rounding on him with a cold look in her eyes.

"You don't see it?" Cheshire said, looking up at the trees overhead.

Alice looked over at him, "What am I supposed to see?" she questioned.

"Alice…" Cheshire reached up and pinched the bridge of his nose. He looked at her as if she were either very stupid or very slow. "Think about it, when you were here, did the seasons ever change?"

Alice frowned and pursed her lips. "I… I guess not. It was always spring when I was here." She looked up at the fall colored leaves. "But this… fall…" her eyes widened as it settled on her. "What is going on?" she demanded.

"It's the Queen," Cheshire said. "White did tell you about her, right?"

Alice nodded. "Said she was poisoning wonderland…"

"He's right… but I don't really know how to explain her. She's not like Hearts was, this queen is… cold. She only cares about her self." Cheshire growled low in his throat. The very thought of the queen upset him. "She stays locked away in her castle, she ignores her role as queen, and she surrounds herself with mirrors."

Alice blinked, "Mirrors?" she questioned.

"Mirrors. Looking glasses, you've got to remember that much!" Cheshire groaned and looked like he wanted to pull his hair out at how slow she was.

"Oh! You mean the looking glasses that show everything?" she questioned.

Cheshire sighed, "Yes and no. The true looking glasses of wonderland are sealed in the glass tower of the high castle. The glasses that she uses were made by the gnomes, though they work almost the same as the normal lot."

Alice nodded her head, hoping she understood it all, "So if she wants too… she can see anything that is going on in wonderland?"

Cheshire sighed and tucked his hands behind his head, he looked up at the sky for a moment before looking over at Alice. "No." he said at last. "Her glasses aren't as powerful as the originals. She can only look in on people whose face she has seen."

Alice looked down at the ground, for some reason the look in his eyes was different than the annoyance she'd just seen, it made her feel off. "So she can't search for me because she doesn't know how I look?"

Cheshire dropped his arms back to his sides and nodded. "Correct, there's hope for you after all!" He grinned and held up his hand, which faded in and out.

Alice grinned and looked at the ground again. "Why doesn't that surprise me?"

Cheshire's grin widened.

Suddenly a thought passed through Alice's mind, a thought she really didn't like or want to think about. "White wore her symbol on his clothes.. a black heart." She looked at Cheshire, eyes studying his face.

Cheshire closed his eyes and stopped walking. He stood there for a moment, "White is putting his life in danger to pass us information. It's hard on him, having to pretend to be loyal to that witch, but is does it." he looked at Alice with an anger in his eyes, it was wild and hot almost as if it were burning in alive on the inside. "Don't you dare judge him for choosing to pretend, just don't."

"I never would have," Alice answered, lowering her gaze to the ground. "I may not always like White's company, but I know enough to know that he isn't stupid, he is who he is…" she sighed. "What's the deal with the seasons?" she changed the subject.

Cheshire's lips twitched. "Wonderland is ruled by the Queen and powered by the dreams of children. If children stop dreaming, wonderland dies." He looked at Alice, searching her eyes for something.

Alice closed her eyes for a moment, "she's done something to the kids hasn't she…"

Cheshire nodded, chewing his lip. "She's destroying their dreams… because she hates wonderland."

"They're dying."

"It's not a true death." Cheshire said. "It's the death of their entire childhood. They will never be able to visit wonderland again once they've been drained of that amount of power it takes to destroy someone's dreams. It's a very adult thing to do." They way he looked at her when he said it, the way he gazed at her as if it were her fault that this queen was destroying everything, it made Alice flinch.

They stood there, looking at one another as if they'd never seen the other before. Alice stepped forward and clenched her hands into fists, "Is there anything that can be done?"

"I don't know." Cheshire admitted. He looked at her, reached a hand slowly up and traced her jaw line with the tips of his fingers. "I just don't know, Alice."

--

They walked a while more before the woods thinned and they stepped into a small town. It was filled with decaying buildings that had seen better days, windows were boarded up, doors were marked with X's, and there was the smell of burn wood in the air.

"Wow…" Alice stopped and looked around her, "I don't remember this place…"

"This way." Cheshire said, ignoring her statement.

Alice trailed behind him. her feet were beginning to hurt. Walking behind him she couldn't help but notice how pretty his hair was at this length. All it needed was a good brush and it would be perfect.

"Alice?" A voice said.

Alice turned, and her mouth fell open. "Mock!" She cried in delight. She ran over to the man and threw her arms around him.

Mock Turtle was one of the few people that Alice had met that hadn't changed a bit. His hair was still blond, cut in a surfer style. His skin was tan, hands leathery, and he still had a smile that melted her heart. No one had a smile as sweet as his.

He was wearing a loose tunic style blue shirt; a belt clenched it around his waist. And pair of loose brown pants, and boots.

Mock gave a strangled kind of laugh and gently wrapped his arms around her, he held her as if she were something that might break. But slowly he tightened his arms and buried her face into the crook of her shoulder. "Alice…" he breathed her name as if it were air.

Alice flushed at the feeling of his lips tickling along her neckline, she swallowed hard and wiggled, asking silently to be allowed down.

Mock chuckled and loosened his grip but still kept her in the circle of his arms. "You've changed."

She could see now that there were subtle changes to him. A little more bulk to his arms. He'd finally grown into his brood shoulders. But his waist was strangely slender. Cheshire wasn't the only one suffering from lack of food.

Alice looked down for a moment, flushing, "People do that, you know?"

Mock chuckled, suddenly he looked up and rolled his eyes. "Alright there Cheshire?" he teased.

Alice turned and saw the fuming expression on Cheshire's face.

"I'm just… peachy." Cheshire said. "Alice, if you don't mind." He gestured for her to follow.

Mock hesitated before releasing Alice from his arms. He leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss to her forehead, "I'll see you later," he whispered.

Alice laughed nervously and turned away. She followed in Cheshire's angry wake.

--

They arrived a few minutes later. The house in front of them was very much like the rest of the lot. A thatch roof, log walls, and a door that was barely hanging on to it's hinging. It wasn't much.

"It's… nice." Alice muttered. Looking up at the house.

Cheshire rolled his eyes, "It sucks." He stated. "But it's home."

They walked into the house.  
It hardly had anything in it. two small cots were laid out on the living room floor. A pile of clothes lay at the bottom of one of the cots.

"Someone staying with you?" Alice asked.

Cheshire glanced over at her. "Yeah." He admitted. "He's off doing something right now though, so you'll use his cot until White comes and gets you."

Alice frowned. "Where is White?" she asked.

"He has to be at the castle for a while," Cheshire said. He walked over to the cot that belonged to him and sat down. He reached into one of his boots and pulled a dagger free. "The queen gets worried if he's gone to long."

Alice sighed and walked over to the other cot. She sat down on it, flinching slightly. If there was one thing she hated, it was sleeping in another person's bed. That and the pile of clothes at the bottom of it wasn't much of a comfort. "Whose bed is this?" she asked.

"Nobody you need to know." Cheshire said. he slipped his boots off and yawned. "I'm tired. Please don't wonder off. And stay away from the second floor. The floors rotten and likely to give way."

He brought his arms to his waist and pulled his shirt off.

Alice flushed red. She'd seen guys without shirts, who hadn't, but she'd never seen _Cheshire _without a shirt. Although the lines of scars that ran across it ruined what should have been a very nice chest, most of them looked like pale claw marks.

Cheshire cocked his head to the side, "You look surprised." He said.

Alice hesitated, "Those scars…"

Cheshire leaned forward, resting his arms on his knees, "Wonderland has been at war for years Alice, I chose my side and sometimes I pay for it." he reached up and laid a hand on the scar under his heart, "can I ask you something?"

"Of course,"

"Do you ever wonder if Death skips you by just for a good laugh?" Cheshire closed his lilac eyes.

Alice looked down at her hands. "My… my mom died last year… I made a choice not to see her before she died…"

"Why?"

"She – she was dying of brain cancer… she didn't remember who I was anymore… it was so painful and I was so selfish…" Alice sighed loudly. "I kept thinking that I'd rather die in her place, that I should be the one lying in that bed with something destroying my memories… no child wants to loose their mother, not one. But I lost mine… I wanted to die but Death never came…"

Alice laid down and closed her eyes. She didn't mean to fall asleep. But some how her brain simply decided that she needed a couple hours of shut eye, and slowly she slipped into a calming darkness. The sound of Cheshire's soft breathing was also a comfort, though she would never say that out loud.

--

Alice blinked her eyes a couple times; the crust that had gathered onto her eyelashes flaked away. She turned over onto her back and stared at the mold-covered ceiling. It took her a couple minutes to get her brain working. A flash of surprise went through her when she realized that she didn't know where she was.

She sat up and looked around. The sight of Cheshire, curled up on his cot, reminded her of where she was. she breathed out through her nose and rubbed her eyes.

She looked around the darkened room, the sun had obviously set, so where was the light coming from?

She looked up and blinked. Tiny orbs of light were floating around the ceiling. And if her ears worked as well as she believed they worked she could have sworn they were giggling.

"Faeries." She breathed. Confused by the fact that she couldn't remember there ever having been faeries in wonderland before.

"Annoying little buggers." Cheshire muttered, turning to lay on his stomach, arm tucked under his chin. "They're really flowers, but they changed when things went south."

"The singing flowers?" Alice questioned.

Cheshire nodded. "Yeah." He yawned loudly. He reached his free arm out and scratched his back. "Damn. Over slept." He said. He finally sat up and ran a hand through his untied hair.

Alice blinked. He must have gotten up some time in the night in, because she was pretty sure that hair as long as his didn't just untie itself. It still had twigs caught in it as well.

"Damn it," Cheshire muttered. "Stupid faeries."

Alice cocked her head to the side and gave him a questioning look.

"They undid my hair again. They do it so it knots itself up." Cheshire explained, looking around on the floor near his cot. "It amuses the hell out of them."

"Why not cut it?"

Cheshire's head snapped up and he looked at Alice as if she'd just asked him why the sky was blue, or why birds fly. "I like it long." He stated.

Alice had a feeling there was another answer, but she didn't feel that she knew him well enough to pry into such personal things. It would be almost are rude as Hatter had proven himself to be on their first meeting.

"Where's Hatter?" Alice suddenly asked.

Cheshire made a choking sound. He stared at Alice, eyes wide. "White didn't…" he trailed off. "I'm going to kill that son of a…" he looked at Alice. "Look, the sun will be coming up in a little. I bet someone will be up. I need to speak to some people."

"You want to get rid of me." Alice stated, narrowing her eyes at him.

Cheshire reached out and picked his shirt off of the floor. He pulled it on and stood. "That's not true, and I don't have nearly enough time to stand here mending your hurt feelings, there's too many of those going around these days." He said. "I've got work to do. White will be here soon enough to explain everything to you."

"What about Hatter?"

"I have to go."

Alice stared at his retreating back. She wanted to call out to him. Tell him that she really didn't want to be alone right now. But she stayed silent, It was due to all the years she'd spent wanting to call out to her father and realizing that even if she did call out, he wouldn't have turned around.

Cheshire paused at the door. He turned and looked back at her, his trademark grin in place. "Go find Mock or something. He'll be awake, moaning and groaning about life." He smiled. "Go play."

Alice watched him open the door and leave. She frowned after him. Go Play? What was she, some little child? Is that how Cheshire still saw her, as someone who was still a little girl?

She got up. She realized her hair was frizzing badly and she desperately wanted a hot shower, but that was as likely as being able to go home. She stared at the pile of clothes on the floor. Hesitantly she reached out and pushed some of them aside. They were male clothes, Shirts, pants, boots, and things of that nature. She looked at the boots, sized them up, and realized they would work perfectly. She found some socks and slid them onto her feet. It took a bit to unlace the boots and re-lace them to fit her feet. She stood up, tapped the toe of the boot against the floor. It would have to do.

She walked towards the door, listening to the floor creak underneath her as she walked. She had a sneaking suspicion that there was a basement or something underneath the floor, but that wasn't a real comfort to her, what if she fell through?

She stepped outside; the air was cool, typical for fall. Not typical for Wonderland. The sun was beginning to peek up, painting the sky a lovely shade of pink and orange. She yawned slightly and walked down the drive of the house.

The village wasn't as quite as one would think, given the time, it was quite active.

"Alice!" Mock shouted from his place near a campfire. His hands were cupped over his mouth, just to be sure she'd heard him.

Alice hesitated before walking over to him. "Good morning," she greeted.

Mock smiled, the same smile that he'd always had. "It's been a while since someone said that to me." He said. His smile faded around the edges when he noticed what she was wearing. "You're not going to want to go around dressed like that for long. It can get pretty cold here."

Alice sighed, and her shoulders slumped. "I don't really have a choice. White obviously wasn't thinking about the weather when he picked these out for me." she sat next to him.

Mock chewed his lip thoughtfully. "White doesn't think about _anyone._" He said. He shrugged his shoulders as if something had just popped into his head, but had turned out to be useless, not worth sharing. "Fact of life."

Alice smiled and shook her head. She didn't remember Mock having such a cheerful attitude. He'd always been a manic depressive person, something to do with being turned from a turtle to a human, and then having the only way of turning back into a turtle stolen and used to make soup.

"Mock." Alice said, inching closer to the tall young man. "What ever happened with the Duchess? I mean, I remember getting your shell back the first time, but obviously you don't have it now… so what happened?"

Mock gave a strangled sound, like something had caught in his throat. "You really don't know the act of subtlety do you?" he shook his head in amusement. "The Duchess made me an offer that I couldn't refuse. It was worth it though…"

"Was it really?"

"Alice, this isn't something I enjoy talking about." Mock said. there was something in his eyes, a pain that was so raw that Alice couldn't help the subject drop.

"So… What is Cheshire doing?" Alice asked, changing the subject.

"Cheshire? Oh, I guess he's probably sneaking about somewhere." Mock said. he sat down on one of the logs that surrounded the fire. He motioned for Alice to sit next to him. "Cheshire's good for getting into places that the rest of us aren't able to."

Alice smiled, "Because he can do that vanish thingy?" she asked.

Mock grinned, "That and people seem to overlook him. They see him but there's something about him that makes them think they're seeing things."

Alice laughed gently. "Lucky him." she said.

Mock laughed. "Lucky him." he agreed.

They sat there in a comfortable silence. The window whistled through the broken windows of the houses. Leaves rustled along the ground. There was the sound of water trickling somewhere. And the scent of food cooking.

Alice's stomach gave a loud rumble.

Mock turned his head toward her, smirking. "Hungry?" he asked.

Alice rolled her eyes, "Obviously."

Mock stood up. "Their cooking food on the north side of the town." He explained. "Just pass those two house. See 'em?"

Alice nodded.

"Head on over there and get yourself something to eat." Mock said. he reached down and offered the teenager his hand.

Alice reached out and accepted the hand. Allowing herself to be pulled to her feet. "Where are you going to be?" she asked. Nervous.

Mock smiled. He reached his hand and cupped her chin, his thumb tracing under her lips. "Don't worry so much, Alice, it's not becoming of you."

Alice didn't think her cheeks could get any redder. She looked down at her feet. Trying to stop the thunder of thoughts that had suddenly decided to dance through her brain.  
But underneath all the teenage emotions were surprising her, because it was so unexpected, she realized with a jolt that even though it felt nice to have his hand hold her like that, it was also uncomfortable. She didn't feel the need to have him kiss her, in fact, she would have been fine if he'd simply let go of her chin, it simply didn't matter either way.

Her own emotions were confusing her.

"I'll try." She whispered.

Mock cocked his head to the side. "You do that." He leaned forward and kissed the tip of her nose. "Go get something to eat." He released his grip on her chin and gave her a light push in the general direction of the area that breakfast was being cooked.

Alice looked at him for a moment longer before turning away. She started walking. She felt strange, perhaps a little awkward. Her own emotions were doing some sort of dance, one who's moves she didn't know or understand.

The smell of food made her stomach growl. It felt like forever since she'd eaten some shrimp at the party. Shrimp, as anyone can tell you, isn't a food you can rely on to keep you well feed for any period of time.  
As she approached the clearing she spotted the large fire that was being used to cook foot.

The fire would have been hard to miss. It was big, at least the size of five normal fires. Sitting beside the fire, two on either side, were strange Y shaped devices. The devices were large, and connecting them together were three long metal poles. The poles had pots hooked onto them. Something inside the pots bubbled and steamed, sending off wonderful smells.

Sitting beside the fire, obviously tending to the food and such, was a tiny old woman. She was a Gnome, but one of the oldest that Alice had ever seen.

"Hello, dear." She greeted when she spotted Alice. "Here for some breakfast?"

Alice nodded, "Yes, ma'am." She said. "If you don't mind that is."

The woman chucked and got to her feet. She walked slowly forward, as if each step pained her, and grabbed a large spoon that was hanging off the left Y shaped device. She held it and pushed something on the device. One of the poles shuddered and moved away from the flames.

The woman reached down and picked up a small wooden plate. She walked to the first pot and dipped the spoon into it, she pulled it out again and dumped the contents onto the plate. It was some sort of reddish stew, there were lumps of something in it. She walked to the next pot, dropped the spoon in, and took a healthy scoop of the contents.

The food smelled great. But didn't look as appetizing. The red stew from the first pot was as normal as the food got. The second pot contained something that was like eggs, but the color was more orange, and it was very runny. The final pot contained what might have been mashed up fruit, though Alice wouldn't have bet on it. the color was purple.

She took her plate gracefully, thanking the Gnome women, and ended up accepting a large canteen of water before she was able to walk away.

She found an over turned tree to sit on. She pulled herself up onto the large log and balanced her plate on her lap. She made a small face as she took the wooden spoon and scooped a little of the red stew into it. she lifted it too her lips, hesitated for a couple seconds, opened her mouth and popped the stuff in.

It was a shock to the taste buds; that was for sure. The red stuff tasted like a spicy berry, it was amazingly good, and it rolled down her throat and into her stomach, making her feel all warm and fluttery.

It was kind of like Easter chocolates, the kind you get in a basket of things you'd never use, so cheap, but so good.

She tried the egg like stuff, and was surprised by the tang that came with it. the texture was very much like a nicely cooked egg. But the taste was something along the lines of a spicy cheddar cheese, mixed with a little hot sauce. Again, it caused a nice warm feeling to run through her body. The chill that Mock had warned her about wouldn't stand a chance against this food.

The final bit she tried was the fruit like thing. After all the spicy things she'd eaten, the taste of sweetness was like a shock to the system, but a very pleasant one. It was like someone had given her ice cream on a hot summer day. It rolled down her throat, into her stomach and left her feeling full and happier than she'd felt all day.

She sat there staring at the empty plate. She'd never enjoyed food as much as she'd enjoyed this. It was as if someone had taken a bottle of happy emotions and mixed it in with the food. The emotions were pleasant, and all her worries went fluttering away on paper wings. She didn't mind feeling happy, warm, and content with everything.

"You looked pleased."

Alice turned her head and stared at Cheshire, who'd just appeared next to her on the log. "That might be because I am," she said, smiling.

Cheshire's eyebrow rose. He looked at the plate in her hand, reached a hand out and dipped his finger into some of the remaining liquid. He brought his finger to his lips and touched his tongue to it. he shuttered. "Should have known," he laughed.

Alice raised an eyebrow, "known what?" she asked.

"Liquid emotions," Cheshire explained.

Alice's eyes widened, "I was just thinking about that." She said.

Cheshire smiled. "Lena," he said with a chuckle, "She's the mother Gnome. She is also a powerful potion master, and she uses her craft well. Though every now and then she likes to slip some of her potions into the food, to give everyone a well needed boost."

Alice nodded her head, though it didn't make much sense to her in the long run. The talk of potions just went over her head. She didn't really understand how anyone could bottle an emotion and slip it into food. It was too much for her brain to process.

"Did you find Mock?" Cheshire asked. Stretching out across the length of the log. His slender body arched backwards before settling down, arm tucked underneath his head.

Alice looked at him, her eyebrow raised. She felt a little awkward around him still, but it was fading. "I spoke with him an hour ago." She said. "I think I annoyed him."

"Well, that's not hard to do." Cheshire laughed. "Say the wrong thing and he gets all pissy."

Alice had to agree with that. It was true. "So, what's the deal with his shell?" she asked.

Cheshire huffed loudly, a strand of his hair, which had come loose from his braid, fluttered in front of his mouth. "He traded it back to the Duchess," he said softly, "she gave us this shit hole in return."

Alice stared at him, "But this is a Gnome village," she said, "how does the duchess have any rights to it?"

"The Queen gave it to her, some sort of 'I hope you like me' gift." Cheshire said darkly. "She's done that to a lot of the different races. Just up and traded their homes from under their feet."

Alice bit her lip, hard. "The Duchess didn't eat the gnomes?" she asked.

Cheshire laughed, "She tried." He admitted. "But Mock offered her something she wanted more than all you can eat gnomes."

"His shell."

"Yes and no."

Alice cocked her head to the side, "Yes and no?"

"It's not only his shell she wanted." Cheshire said. Propping himself up on his elbows. He gave her a very strange look.

Alice blinked. She swallowed hard. "What else did she want?" she asked. Hoping that what she was suddenly thinking was just a byproduct of her teenage mind.

Cheshire grimaced. "Use your imagination Alice, we both know that the duchess is a twisted piece of work."

Alice closed her eyes. "I don't even want to think about that!" she snapped.

"Think it?" Cheshire said, the beginnings of anger in his voice. "Alice, Mock had to live it!"

Alice looked at him, "Why are you telling me this?" she questioned.

"I'm telling you this because you asked about his shell!"

"I asked about the shell, not about what that… woman did to him!"

"It's the same thing!"

"It is not!"

Alice swung her self off the log, and marched away from Cheshire. It was selfish, it was childish, and it was just plain stupid. She was avoiding the facts. And the first fact that she'd avoided was the fact that people she'd cared about had had bad things happen to them.

And she was too much of a coward to stand there and listen to the details.

The idea of Mock being forced to do… _that _with the Duchess was just horrid. It was disgusting, and she hadn't even been there when it happen. It was almost as if she were feeling what Mock should have felt. But Mock was twice the person she'd ever be. He at least had given up something to protect those he cared for. He'd given up his shell, and he'd given himself to protect the Gnomes.

What could Alice do that was as useful as that?

She sighed loudly and stopped walking.

Somehow or other she'd ended up walking towards the woods. She was standing on the path that led from the village to the lake. She could hear the waters swishing up against the shoreline.

She walked over, stepping off the path and into the thorny underbrush. She walked toward the lake and stopped when she reached the shoreline. She leaned back against one of the large rocks that littered the shoreline. Some of the rocks were twice as tall as she was, and some looked like they could slice you to ribbons if you weren't careful.

She wondered what the stone was called. It was something that she should have remembered, but whatever the name was it had slipped her mind.

She leaned her head back. The stone felt cool on her head. The air around her felt cool as well. She realized with a sick feeling in her stomach that she didn't belong. She didn't belong in this world. This was place for children, where they were free to dream whatever it is that children dream.  
The only thing that adults did to this world was drag it down, destroy everything that made it a wonderland. Reality, and reason, those were adult thoughts. Imagination, and hope, that was a child's dream. Adults didn't use their imagination for much, and hope was like a distant dream. They continued to reach forward, trying to come within reach of hope. But as always, it slipped just out of reach.

No. She didn't belong in wonderland. But for some strange reason everyone around her thought she did. Perhaps it was just another sign of their impending insanity. She was sure that she was the only sane person left in wonderland.

But did she want to be that? The only person who thought like an adult… did that person belong in wonderland?

Alice hugged herself. She felt completely alone. And she couldn't explain why.

"Alice?"

Alice turned and stared at the man standing in front of her. She cocked her head to the side. Her brain searched through the record of people she'd met in wonderland. She knew she should know this guy, but she couldn't remember his name.

The man was handsome in a strange sort of way. His eyes were pale blue. Skin, a tan color that had begun to go pale. His hair was brown, and he had a very nice face. Very male. The cheekbones were very noticeable, but in a nice, healthy way. His eyes blazed out from his face. they were by far his best feature.

He was dressed in a loose red shirt, he didn't have an emblem on it. his pants were black, and he wore riding boots.

"Are you really Alice?" the man asked.

Alice swallowed. "Ummm… last time I checked I was." she said. her voice sounded very high, very frightened.

The man smiled, a pleasant smile. It made his face come alive. "You don't remember me do you?" he whispered.

Alice gave a small shake of her head. "No… sorry… should I?"

"I don't know." The man said. "Should you?"

Alice's frown deepened. "You're teasing me, aren't you."

The man chuckled. "Only a little." He said. "But that's just our way of doing things. As I'm sure you're beginning to see."

Alice smiled, "Yeah. I guess so." She bit her lip. "What's your name, if you don't mind me asking."

"I'll tell you some other time." He said. he stepped forward, invading her personal space. He leaned forward.

Alice froze. Her mind went blank. A pair of warm lips pressed against her mouth, and she didn't mind at all.  
Warm arms slipped around her waist, pulling her forward. She pressing against the man's body, the taste of his mouth reminded her of something, kind of like the food she'd eaten earlier. The sweet flavor rolled down her tongue and into her mouth. She leaned into the kiss, surprising herself. It was like all sense and reason had abandoned her in that instant.

Suddenly she realized with a jolt that the man had liquid in his mouth, he forced it into her mouth, that was what she'd been tasting. She shoved away from his and coughed.

"W-what did you…" she stumbled, her hand shot out to catch the rock nearest her, but a warm arm wrapped around her again.

She closed her eyes a fluttered away into the blissful darkness.

--

When she came through, Alice found herself watching a set of dark storm clouds rolling through the sky. They were the type of clouds that warned a person to head in-doors. Thunder sounded through the sky, and bolts of lightning flashed.

When she sat up, she felt every ache and pain in her body. It felt like someone had hit her a couple times, or maybe she'd taken a bad jump off the swing.

She groaned at the thought. She'd done that so often as a child that her mom had turned it into a running joke. "Alice," she would say as she placed a bandage on the latest hurt. "You really need to learn to not just let go, but to let go at the right moment."

She pushed off the ground and got to her feet, swaying slightly as the blood settled in her head. She sighed and breathed through her nose, putting her hands on her knees. She cursed and finally stood straight again.

When she looked around she saw that she was standing in the middle of an open field. The grass was brown and looked like it was bordering on dying. Lying about twenty yards away from the place that Alice stood was a large bird of some kind. The wings were a strange shade of gray and they reminded Alice of something.

'Gryphon,' Alice thought sadly. He'd had gray wings the first time she'd met him, they'd jutted straight out of his back like the wings that the angels in the paintings she'd seen did.

The smell coming from the bird was so bad that it was obvious that it was already dead and gone.

Alice turned her head from the bird and looked to her right. Looming in front of her was a forest that seemed to stretch forever.

To the right was an empty field.

Both choices sucked. But Alice reasoned with herself that she was better off under the cover of the trees than she would be in the empty field.

That and she remembered the weird guy, the one whose names she couldn't quite remember.

Who was he?

As she stepped into the forest she couldn't help but wish for a bag of bread crumbs. Just in case she lost her way.

* * *


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

--

Breadcrumbs would have been useful in the long run. Maybe not for leaving a trail, but they'd have been good for food.

Alice had settled herself at the base of a large tree. Moonlight filtered down from overhead, casting shadows onto the forest floor. There was a thick silence that stretched through the forest. Though every now and then a breeze would blow through, the icy wind dragging the fallen leaves across the floor.

Alice hugged her knees to her chest. Part of her wondered if she should have stayed with the bird creature, maybe someone would have found her sooner if she had. But did she want to be found by those people?

Obviously the only people who'd know she was missing and what sort of creature had taken her would be the lot that had taken her in the first place.

She'd come to a couple conclusions since waking in the middle of the field. One, was that someone had kidnapped her. Two, was the fact that she was completely lost. And three, well, she really didn't have a third conclusion, but two was such an awkward number.

The man who'd kissed her had something to do with this, but his name was one she couldn't recall. She wasn't sure how she knew him in the first place. Part of her was just too tired to really try to think about it all. And in the end it only served to make her headache.

She also realized something, that his face, while older, reminded her of a face that should have been younger. But Wonderlanders were famous for the fact that they didn't age that well, the tended to stay the same age for such a long while, it was why Hatter and Hare had always had Un-birthday parties. Things stayed the same for such a long time.

She was still sitting at the base of the tree when a strange sound echoed around the woods. It sounded like, dare she say it, sobbing. A gut retching sobbing sound, as if someone had just realized that their whole world was falling apart around them and nothing would change it.

Alice slowly got to her feet. Her hand pressed flat against the bark of the tree. She was nervous to let go of it and fall. While her night vision had improved a lot in the last couple hours, she wouldn't have trusted her ability to find her way back to this spot.

Why was she doing this?

She wasn't brave, smart, or anything special. It was obvious that she was a coward, so why was she thinking about walking towards the sound of someone sobbing. It was obvious, or it should have been, that whatever was causing someone to sob like that was probably nothing that she'd want to meet in a darkened forest.

With a sigh, Alice pushed off the tree and plunged herself into the dark woods.

She never fancied herself to have much of a brain

--

Following the sound of sobbing, Alice found herself entering a clearing. In the clearing were well over a thousand tree stumps protruding from the ground. The sight went on as far as she could see with her limited night vision.

It was a sad sight. In all her time in wonderland, Alice had never seen such blatant abuse of natural resources. How anyone would cut down the wonderful trees was something she just couldn't understand, and for that she was thankful. It meant that she was different from the people who'd done this horrible thing.

She stepped forward into the clearing. Her eyes searching for the source the sobbing, and it didn't take long to find it.

The source of the god awful sobbing was a woman, tied to a tree trunk by two ropes that had been looped through a metal bracket. The rope ends were knotted together passing on the bracket, tight enough that the woman couldn't move her hands that much without serious pain.  
Truth be told, the woman was a sorry sight. she had graying her, which was knotted and tangled. Twigs and leaves had worked their way into it. her skin was leathery looking. And her clothes were nothing more than rags. She was mumbling to herself, trying to bring one of her tied hands up to her mouth, but it always fell just short.  
Every time her hand failed to reach her mouth she let out a loud wail. Like her world was shattering.

When she looked up at saw Alice, she began to laugh loudly. "What's this?" she cried, her voice crackly. "The girl returns? How many years, how many years did it take? How lovely it … must be to be loved." She shook her head.

Alice stepped forward, "Do I know you?" she asked. Doubting that fact. She'd think she'd remember meeting someone like this woman.

The woman crackled and turned away from Alice, she began the same repeatable act of trying to get the rope to her mouth, but as always, she failed.

"Sad, isn't it?"

Alice froze. She turned around and stared, eyes narrowing. "Hello, again." She said stiffly.

The man smiled. "I'm so sorry about how rude I was during our first meeting." He smiled shyly. "Would you believe me if I said it was for your own good?"

Alice crossed her arms against her chest.

"No? Ah, I didn't think it would be that easy."

"Never is, is it, brother?"

Alice's eyes widened as a second man stepped out of the forest and into sight. He was the twin to the man standing in front of her. But instead of a red shirt, he wore a black shirt, and a cap the same color. His brown hair was either cut short or tucked up underneath the cap. It was hard too tell in the dark.

"Hallo," The second twin greeted. "Do you remember our names now?"

"The Tweedle brothers," Alice said with a small smile. "Tweedledee and Tweedledum, though don't ask me to say who is who."

The twins looked at one another and grinned. "Ede," The one in red said, stepping forward to give Alice a sweeping bow.

"And Edu," The other said. He too stepped forward and bowed to Alice.

Alice smiled, she didn't mean to, but it happened all the same.

"So loved." The old crone hissed.

Alice turned and looked at her. "Loved? I think you're talking about someone else."

"You are loved," Edu said. He walked forward and laid a hand on her shoulder. Ede twinned the motion on her other shoulder. They stood beside her, their shoulders pressing against her back. It was awkward and uncomfortable, it was too… physical.

"Mind stepping back?" Alice questioned through clenched teeth. She didn't want a repeat of earlier, or the strange rush of feeling that the kiss had brought on.

"We haven't done anything." Both twins said.

"You kidnapped me!" Alice snapped, not to mention one of them had kissed her.

Ede's lips twitched upwards but he willingly stepped backwards, "It was for your own good, Alice." He repeated.

Alice shook her head. She glanced over at Edu. "Step back." She ordered.

Edu stared at her for a second; there was something in his eyes, anger? Whatever is was he closed it down, and stepped away.

"Why send your knights away?" The crone asked. "Am I so little threat that you believe yourself safe?" she hissed.

Alice stared at her, "Who are you?" she questioned.

"You ignorant brat!" The crone raged. "Off with her head, off with her head." She cackled.

Horror washed through Alice's body. She knew, without a single doubt in her mind, just who this woman was. "Hearts." She whispered.

"She knows now?" The crown laughed. "Finally."

Alice turned to Edu, "What is going on?" she questioned. "I figured she would…" she raised a hand, pointed a finger and made a slashing motion against her throat.

Edu and Ede exchanged glances.

"Do you believe our new queen to be so cruel?" Edu asked.

"What would her death solve?" Ede probed.

Alice shook her head, "After all she did to wonderland?" she questioned. "You let her live."

Ede chuckled, "The odds of her freeing herself are slim to none, none of us would free her. And there is only one way she can be set free."

"How?" Alice asked.

"The knot." Edu said, point at it. "It's magic. It can only be undone by someone who is willing to release her, it cannot be undone by force, only by choice." He smiled. "It's a brilliant bit of magic."

Alice stared at the single knot. Part of her had to admit that if the magic really worked it was a very cruel and unusual punishment. The ex queen would never be freed because no one would ever willingly release her. She'd done too many evil things.

"It's a very cruel fate," Alice commented.

"And just, she was cruel to us all," Edu said.

Alice rolled her eyes. She looked at the ex queen and felt a twinge of pity for her. The idea of being locked out in a forest for the rest of your life, with no hope of freedom. Because the ex queen had to know that no one would ever free her.

"Silly girl," Hearts whispered, "Silly girl doesn't know, Does she? Doesn't know that all her friends are gone… destroyed!" she began to laugh.

Alice stared at her, "Last time I checked they were still very much alive." She stated.

The ex queen lifted her head and looked Alice in the eyes, something close to sanity danced in them, "Alice, they're not the same. Can you truly not see? See how they look at you? See how they avoid you…"

"Enough!" Edu snapped. He reached out and laid his hand on Alice's arm. "Come, there's nothing out here but this old crone."

Alice glanced back at him. her eyes fell on his hand. She couldn't help but see the ring that he wore. The emblem on it was obvious.

"You're working for the new queen?" she questioned.

Edu and Ede exchanged glances. "Like White, of course." The both said.

Alice frowned. Wouldn't Cheshire have mentioned something about the twins working with the queen? Unless they really 'were' the bad guys.

"I think I'm doing just fine on my own." Alice said, shrugging off his hand. "If I need help I'll be sure to give you a ring."

Edu sighed loudly, "Alice, please be reasonable. I don't know what the others have told you, but our new queen, she is thinking towards what is best for wonderland. You have to believe me."

Alice cocked her head to the side, "and why is that? Would it have anything to do with the fact that it feels like winter?" she questioned. "Is that in the new queen's plans?"

"It's only a mild side effect." Ede said, "She'll get the seasons under control soon enough. Just as soon as… well just as soon as some pieces fall into place."

Alice smiled, just a slight turn of her lips. "Pieces into place?" she questioned. "What pieces would that be?"

Edu stepped forward again, he touched Alice's arm. "Alice, please. If you fight the queen you're likely to get hurt." He whispered. "That's the last thing we want for you. You _have _to believe me!" he pleaded.

Alice shook her head. "You're a little late on the 'please believe me' junk. I've already spoken with Cheshire." She glared at him.

"Cheshire?" Ede smiled. "Alice, Cheshire is part of the problem."

Alice shook her head. She stepped backwards away from the twins. "No. Your queen is the problem. Anyone who'd drain dream energy from children is a major problem."

"She drains only a little," Edu pleaded. "Just enough too…"

"Too stay young." Alice finished.

The twins shared a look.

"Alice. Let us take you to Hatter, he'll be able to explain everything to you."

Alice blinked in surprise. "Hatter?" she questioned. "He's… working for the queen as well?"

Edu's lips twitched, "Yes. He's one of her favorites." He reached out to take her hand. "We'll take you to him, he'll explain everything to you. Get you to see our point of view."

Alice stepped away from him. "I said no." she said.

Ede closed his eyes and mumbled something under his breath. When he opened his eyes there was a resigned look in his eyes. "Alice, we've been ordered to bring you with us. If those idiots hadn't shot down the Hawk you'd have already been safely at the castle. As it is, you have no choice but to go with us." He said.

Edu took another step forward. "Alice, please don't fight us. You'll get hurt."

"See," The queen mocked. "I told you they would betray you!" she cackled.

Alice looked back at the ex queen. What was the lesser of two evils? Going with the twins, probably get her self killed or locked away. On the other hand she could untie that knot and pray that the ex queen hated this new queen as much as Alice figured she would.

Edu's hand shot out and grabbed a hold of Alice's upper arm. "Come on," he said.

Alice shoved at him and he stumbled back in surprise. "Don't touch me!" she snapped. She turned and dove behind the tree stump. She reached up and began to tug at the knot.

The ex queen turned her head and stared at Alice, completely shock written on her face. "What are you doing?" she questioned.

Alice gave a final tug, her heart pounding. The knot slipped free and the ropes fell limp.

Edu's eyes widened, "Alice!" he screamed, "what've you done?"

Alice looked at him from behind the trunk, "That's your problem!" she yelled. She stumbled to her feet and took off.

She stumbled through the woods. Gasping for breath. She made a small mental note to remember to get in shape. If she was getting winded running such a short distance, what would she do if she actually had to run away from something out in the open, without places to hide? She'd be screwed.

She finally stopped running, her breathing was uneven and hard. She leaned back against a tree and listened to the woods around her. There was silence. A thick, even silence. No feet stomping after her. And no screams of terror.

Either the twins had decided to run, or Hearts still had enough punch in her to level them. Either way, she'd made a big mistake.

But Hearts was the lesser of evils today. Being kidnapped by psyco one and two. or facing someone who was just plain crazy. But she'd beat Hearts once, she'd like to think she could do it again. The twins on the other hand were her former friends, the idea of fighting against them was painful. Even if they were acting odd.

A strange smell suddenly fluttered over Alice. She lifted her nose into the air and drew in a deep breath. Suddenly she was aware of how hungry so was. how long had she been asleep? How long ago had she last had something to eat?

Her stomach growled loudly and she pushed away from the tree. Slowly, as if in a daze, she began walking toward the source of the wonderful smell.

It was like someone had taken the smell of all of Alice's favorite foods and mixed them into one mouthwatering scent. It was almost too much to take. She moved through the forest. Her mind thinking only of filling her stomach.

She stumbled out of the woods and into a bright clearing. A couple tables were set up, and a pot of something was simmering over a fire.

Alice looked around the clearing and blinked back her surprise. "Duchess," she greeted, her teeth gritting together in an effort to stop the chattering that had been about to start.

The Duchess was a large woman; she wore a dress that made her appear even larger. She wasn't one of those women who were timid about eating. She was proud of the amount of food she could put away in one sitting, and she was also the pickiest eater in the world.  
The one thing she would eat without fail was Turtle soup. And her favorite blend of it came from a certain, former turtle's shell.

"Ah, Alice." The Duchess said, eyeing the teenager from the far corner of the clearing. She was sitting at a smaller table, a large umbrella was trying to cover her, but there was simply too much to cover. A few Gnomes were running here and there, trays in the hands. The Duchess flicked her finger and pointed at Alice.

One of the Gnomes rushed over to Alice, "Please, Miss Alice," He said, "Come have a seat, we'll get your tea."

Before Alice could protest she found herself being pushed over to the table that the Duchess was sitting at. She was shoved down into the comfortable chair, and a cup of tea was poured for her.

She stared at it with a confused expression on her face. she lifted her head and looked at the woman. "Why invite me to sit?" she asked.

The Duchess smiled. "Why not?" she questioned. "We're _friends, _aren't we?" there was a slightly wrong note to the woman's voice, as if she were forcing the word pass her lips.

Alice made a small snorting sound. "Friends?" she said, looking at the Duchess oddly. "We've never been friends. You tried to eat my friend."

"I didn't try to eat him. I only wanted his shell. He simply got in the way."

"You didn't seem to mind almost boiling him."

"It would've added a nice flavor."

"So you _did _try and cook him!"

The duchess growled low in her throat, "Alice, you ignorant child, I am not going to sit here and take your… your abuse!"

Alice snorted again. "And yet everyone takes yours." She shook her head. "I say that's a right double standard."

"You've grown to be a right brat!"

Alice smiled, "and I'm proud of that fact." She said. "Gives me character, something _you _wouldn't know anything about now would you?" she gave a grin that would've put Cheshire to shame.

The Duchess reached out and took her own tea. It was in a large mug. She tilted her head back and gulped it like it was something much stronger. When she'd finished gulping the amber colored liquid she slammed the mug down onto the table, causing the tableware to shudder, and a Gnome raced over with a pot of tea. He filled the mug with the whole pot and gave Alice a warning look.

Alice sighed and rolled her eyes skywards. She leaned back into the chair and tried to fight the hunger that was eating at her insides. She looked at the Duchess with, what she hoped was, a blank look.

"Alice, you've had to have noticed, no child, even you, is so dim witted that they wouldn't notice. Wonderland is changing." The Duchess said after another sip of her tea. "It's changing, moving forward."

Alice cocked her head to the side, "You don't say? Wow, I must really be a dim wit, I hadn't noticed." She smirked.

The Duchess glared. "Wonderland," she continued as if Alice hadn't spoken, "is moving towards to future. You, Alice, are the past."

Alice leaned forward, placing her arms on the tabletop. "You say that like it was my idea to come here in the first place." She snapped. "I'd like nothing more than to go home and get on with my life, I have a nice life, thank you very much. I don't need to be running around in make believe worlds!"

The Duchess smiled brightly. "And that is just what the Queen wants to hear!" she laughed. "You see, Alice, The queen was worried that you'd have gotten dragged into the game that those few rebels are playing at. I'm sure she'll be thrilled when she hears that you've decided to go home."

"I'd love to go home, there's just one problem. I don't know how to get there."

"That's a simple fix," The duchess said, "All you have to do is go through one of the looking glasses."

Alice's eyes narrowed. "The looking glasses are in the glass tower, it's locked. Only the true ruler of wonderland can unlock the door." She said. "It's a common legend." One that Alice's own mother had helped come up with.

The duchess breathed through her nose, "that's only a legend, my pet, the truth is that only a human born child can open the lock." She smiled. "_you, _my dear, sweet girl, are a human child. You can easily open the lock and be on your way home."

Alice frowned into her tea. "You're asking me to unlock the looking glasses and hand this… new queen the power to use them as she sees fit?"

"Alice, the queen means well. After she cleans up these… silly rebels, wonderland will return to normal. Our wonderland will never see winter, which is what frightens those fools. The queen would never allow it to go that far."

"And what happens when your queen runs out of dreamers to use as power?" Alice whispered. "What happens when the last child able to dream looses its ability to dream? Wonderland will die… you, this queen, and everyone will die with it." she looked at the Duchess. "Is that what you want?"

The Duchess stared at Alice. "I should have known they'd have gotten to you already." She growled. "I shouldn't killed you when I had the chance."

Alice didn't know what was going on. Or why The Duchess was talking like that. What did she mean, when she still had the chance? Wasn't Alice sitting in front of her?

Suddenly everything blurred oddly, like it was swaying to one side. Alice slid out of her seat and onto the floor.

She could smell the sweet smell of wet earth. The scent of dying leaves. And the rich smell of a promise. A promise that the land was still alive, it wasn't dead… but it would be soon. Soon winter would fall on wonderland. The land would freeze. And wonderland would never see spring again.

--

Alice opened her eyes. She was lying under an oak tree. Staring up into the bare branches. She frowned for a moment before sitting up. She turned her head and groaned. "I though you were a dream." She muttered.

Hearts stood there, eyes narrowed. "Why'd you free me?" she demanded. Her voice weak.

Alice sighed, her hands dropping into her lap. "I freed you because it seemed like a good idea," she admitted, "now I'm not so sure. Are you going to kill me?" she questioned.

Hearts lips turned into a sneer. "I can't." she said. "I would love nothing more than to watch your blood paint the ground red. But without you, wonderland dies."

Alice let her head fall back against the trunk of the tree. "Funny, everyone keeps saying things like that. But I don't know why." She closed her eyes and laughed. "I don't know what is going on. No one seems to want to talk to me, but obviously it has something to do with me."

"Of course it has something to do with you!" Hearts laughed. "it's always been you."

Alice blinked. "What?" she asked.

"Did The Caterpillar ever share the history of wonderland with you?" Hearts asked.

Alice slowly shook her head. "Bits and pieces, but a full history? No."

"Then I will."

"Wonderland isn't a place like your world is. It exists in a world made up of dreams. The world grows and dies when a child begins to dream, and a child enter adulthood." Hearts went on. "But the one thing in wonderland that never dies is the heart of wonderland. It's this land that you stand on now, this country is the heart of wonderland, the castle at the center is where the true King or Queen lives, and it's the only place that dreams don't affect.  
The ruler is chosen by wonderland, and none of the peoples of wonderland are allowed to choose the ruler. The only change in this is when a ruler is elected for a short time, when a true ruler cannot be found." Heart drew in a breath.

"How is the ruler chosen?" Alice questioned, leaning forward. She was hooked.

"The ruler is chosen by fate. One day they simply show up, and they have a dream that is so bright that it leaves no doubt about their fate. Only a true ruler is able to shape wonderland into what they vision it as. And when they arrive a group of knights is chosen to care for the child. You should know all this Alice, you were the destined."

Alice blinked. "What?" she questioned.

"When you arrived in wonderland, I'd already lost my place as queen. I was hanging on by a thread. And the things I was doing was so horrid that it was wonderland itself that decided to get rid of me. When you showed up, a pretty little thing with such a bright dream, I knew. I knew that I was about to loose my throne. I fought to keep it. But in the end… I destroyed myself. My sanity… my life… it was lost. Look at me now Alice, this is what being queen did to me!" Hearts buried her head in her wrinkled hands. "I was like you once. A child with a dream. My own knights choose me. They loved me… and then they left me… they simply left me when I began to age… They wanted a child queen, someone they could love and cuddle, but not have to worry about being loved back…"

"You're saying that a queen isn't allowed to fall in love?"

"The wonderland queen has to remain a child. She isn't allowed to take the final step into adulthood. The body ages, the mind ages. But she's not allowed to age with it."

Alice's lips twitched. "Guess I can't be queen anymore," she muttered.

Hearts lips twitched. "Oh, they're still going to make you queen. Just long enough to find another child to take over for you. They'll put you on the throne. Wait for wonderland to heal, and then you'll be just another idiot in a long line of them." She sat down on the ground. Her ragged clothes spreading around her. "I wish I could go back to my life. I wish I could return home and find my family waiting… but they've died. Time's moved forward without me there."

Alice looked at her hands. She hadn't thought about her family since she'd arrived. She hadn't thought about her father, her sister's… would they even notice she was gone yet? How many days had she'd been gone? Time seemed to strange here that is was impossible to tell. She looked at Hearts, and she realized the truth. If they tried to make her queen, she was now looking at her future. "Who were you?" she asked.

Hearts smiled. "My name was Rose. I was the daughter of a farmer, and his wife, my mother, came from money, and my grandparents thought she was a fool for marrying him. They thought very little of me, and they treated me as something less than human. I hated spending time with them. I guess that's one of the reasons I found wonderland. I was so lonely… I just wanted a place to call my own." She lifted her head and stared at Alice with tears dripping down her cheeks. "Do you know what it feels like? To realize that you are completely unloved?"

Alice sighed "Yes." she closed her eyes. "I know what it feels like to have people treat you like something lesser. I know what it's like to feel like you don't belong. And I know what it feels like to have the one thing you love stolen from you. And I know what it's like to have someone you love more than anything over look you, as if you don't exist to them… while they're your whole world."

Hearts swallowed hard. "When I found wonderland, I thought it was the perfect place. I was thrilled when… my knights offered me a chance to be queen. I thought back to all those pretty fairytales that I'd been told as a child. The queen, princess, lives happily ever after. They never tell you that there are no happily ever afters." She sobbed softly. "There's nothing but unhappiness. Bitterness. And it tends to hit all at the same time." She wiped her eyes.

Alice looked at her hands; they were folded in her lap. She didn't want to hear these things. She wanted to go on believing that wonderland was a happy place. But if what she was hearing was true… wonderland was just the same as her own world.

There was no happy ending in this place, there was just another version of reality. Sugar coated and sweetened up, but it was the same as the other world.

"Is that why Cheshire refused to tell me what I'm here for?" she questioned.

"My Knight never told me what was going on. He simply sugar coated everything." Hearts said. "I assume that Cheshire is doing the same."

Alice sighed loudly. She leaned back against the tree again, drew her knees up to her chest. Her rested her chin on top of them and looked at Hearts. It was hard to imagine that the old crone she was looking at now had once been someone just like her. She'd been human.

"If you go that way," Hearts said softly, pointing with one of her bony fingers. "You'll reach a small gnome village. They'll alert your Knights to where you are. After that everything is up to you." She stood up and looked at Alice. "I truly wish you the best of luck."

Alice gave a weak nod of her head. "What should I do?" she finally asked.

The former queen turned around and stared at Alice for a moment. "The only thing you need to think about is this. Do you mind having your heart broken? Because I tell you now, they will break your heart. Every queen loves her knights more than life itself, but to a knight… The queen is only there for a time. When she gains and adult body… they stop loving her." She closed her eyes. "A queen, a true queen, is needed to heal wonderland. But the cost of that healing will by your heart, Alice, think it over." And she was gone.

Alice didn't know how long she sat there on the cold ground. she could see her breath puffing out in front of her. And it wasn't until small snowflakes began to fall around her that she realized that the sun was setting.

She stumbled to her feet. Her legs were stiff and sore. She used the tree to balance herself. And finally she started walking in the direction that Hearts had pointed too. Tears were drying on her cheek.

Would it be selfish of her to choose her own happiness above the fate of wonderland? Would her friends really betray her like Hearts had said they would? And wouldn't Hearts know? She was a former queen after all. Her friends, beings that were created by her, to love her, had betrayed her in the end.

And then there was one question Alice regretted not asking. Why had she been sent back home after defeating Red? It made no sense, if she were the rightful queen… why had they made her leave.

"Alice!"

Warm arms wrapped around her and she was lifted off her feet.

Alice's cheeks burned as she looked at the lilac eyed man.

"Cheshire…" She hissed between clenched teeth. "can you put me down?"

Cheshire set her down; the expression on his face was one of pure relief. He looked her over, his eyes scanning, checking for any hurt. "Are you alright?" he questioned. "Where were you? What happened?"

Alice held her hands out in front of her, a small laugh bubbled up. "One question at a time, please." She chuckled. "One of the Tweedle twins snagged me when I went out by the lake." She explained. And she began to recount the entire story for him, only hesitating when she came to the conversation she'd shared with Hearts.

"What's wrong, Alice?" Cheshire questioned.

"Hearts said something's too me… and I want some answers."

"What things?"

"She said you only brought me back so that I could play the part of the new queen." Alice whispered. "And she told me some of the things that happened while she was queen."

Cheshire's lips pressed together into a thin line. "What happened with R… Hearts wasn't fair. All of us screwed up." He sighed loudly.

"You were going to call her Rose, weren't you?"

Cheshire flinched at the mention of Hearts human name. "Yes. I was going to call her Rose." He admitted.

"Were you one of her Knights?" she asked.

Cheshire laughed loudly, "Dear Alice, do I look old enough to have been one of her knights?" he said. Grinning brightly. "I was only a child when she was our true queen. I only knew her because she'd host parties for all the local children." He smiled fondly, as if remembering something quite pleasant.

Alice studied him for a moment, trying to figure out if he was playing with her or not. It wouldn't have surprised her if she found out that he was creating a story to please her. But the look on his face seemed quite real, as if he really had known Hearts as some kindly queen. Though she realized that in the end, the person he was remembering was Rose, a girl very much like Alice. Hearts was no longer Rose.

"Alice, are you all right?" Cheshire questioned. His hand coming to rest on her shoulder. He bent down slightly in order to look at her. "You're not feeling sick are you?"

"Sick?" Alice questioned.

"…" Cheshire sighed. "The Duchess… she offered you tea didn't she? Did you drink it?"

Alice shook her head. "I really wasn't thinking about having tea with her. Tea is something you should only take with friends and there really is no loss love between her and I."

Something close to relief swam across Cheshire's face. His shoulder's slumped and he breathed through his nose. "Thank the gods for that." He lifted his head and looked her in the eye, "I was worried that she might have tried to poison you. I watched her do that to many people she didn't care for."

"…Cheshire, is that what she meant when she said 'I wished I had killed you when I had the chance?'"

Cheshire shrugged his shoulders. "I couldn't say." He admitted. 'There's a lot of things going on that don't make much sense to me."

"Do you know anything about them wanting to make me queen?"

"That… I do know about." He lowered his eyes. "I've heard the rumors, but in truth, no one has spoken to me about it. they know where I stand on that matter."

Alice's eyebrow rose. "and just where _do _you stand, Cheshire?" she questioned.

"…We had our chance to make you queen, Alice. We missed it because we wanted to try choosing our own queen." Cheshire looked her in the eye again, his lilac eyes filled with sorrow. "So that's what we did. We went and found a woman who we believed was suited to be our queen… I voted for it, so it's just as much my fault as it is everyone else. We did things we aren't proud of, and I do believe that we missed our chance to have a rightful queen."

Alice chewed her lip. She stepped forward and hugged him tightly. "Thank you," she whispered. "at least there's one person in this crazy place who doesn't want to stick me on a throne."

Cheshire laughed loudly and wrapped his arms tightly around her. "Yeah, at least someone around here is sane." He kissed the top of her head.

Alice fought the blush that rose from her neck and onto her face. she breathed through her nose and stepped away from him. Patting his chest awkwardly. "Can we go now?" she asked. "I've had enough of this place."

Cheshire smiled. "Do you know how to ride a horse?" he asked.

Alice opened and closed her mouth for a second. "A… horse?" she squeaked.

Cheshire grinned. "Should I take that as a no."

"…Stupid horses…"

Cheshire laughed loudly. "I love you sometimes, you're like my own private comedy!"

Alice crossed her arms over her chest and looked up at the sky. Storm clouds were building. "Is it going to rain?" she asked, changing the subject.

Cheshire looked up at the sky. "Rain or snow. It's only a matter of time before the rain turns to snow… its never snowed in wonderland before."

"The snow will be the end of wonderland," Alice whispered. "Once the ground is frozen nothing will ever grow. Wonderland will die."

"Alice?"

Alice looked at Cheshire, tears brimming in her eyes. "I don't want wonderland to die… but I don't want to die to save it."

Cheshire reached out and touched her shoulder. "No one is asking you to die for us Alice." He whispered. "I won't let you die for a place that… a place that without you would never exist."

Alice lowered her eyes. She felt a wave of shame wash over her when she realized that part of her was relieved to hear him say that. It was like she had needed someone to say that they didn't want her to die to save them. But if they asked her to become queen, could she do it?

The selfish part of her said no, no she wouldn't do it.

The wise and kind part of her, the angel on her shoulder, told her that she'd do it. because she needed wonderland almost as much as wonderland needed her. Another fact that she could have done without.

"So… where's that horse?"

--

Alice dismounted from the back of a rather large brown horse. It hadn't been as bad as she'd imagined it too be, but it wasn't something she wanted to have to do that often.

The gnome village looked so sleepy and peaceful. It was hard to imagine that outside this place things were going straight to hell.

The only major change to the village was a certain masked made who'd shown up looking for Alice. And he wasn't pleased to find that she'd been kidnapped.

"I told you to say on the path!" White snapped, shaking Alice by her shoulders "is that too much to ask?"

Alice gave him a world-class glare. "Is explaining things properly too much to ask?" she shoot back, just as angry.

There really were only a handful of people in wonderland who were able to make her feel like a little kid who'd just been caught with their hand in the cookie jar. White was one of them.

"Alice, it's common sense that people will want to control you!"

"and why is that?"

"Alice…" White's whole body tensed, and it was obvious that underneath his mask he was grinding his teeth together in an effort not to kill her himself.

"I have a right to know."

"You only have to do a couple very simple tasks and wonderland will go back to normal, is that too much to ask Alice?"

"It depends on whether one of those tasks is me becoming queen over wonderland. Because if that's why you brought me back than you've got another thing coming." Alice did something very like her mother. She placed her hands on her hips and narrowed her eyes at him like he was simply an annoying child, not someone who was clearly older than she would ever be.

White looked away from Alice and narrowed his eyes at Cheshire, "What have you been telling her?" he demanded.

Cheshire held his hands up, smiling brightly. "I didn't tell her a damn thing, she found out all on her own." He smirked.

Alice rolled her eyes and grabbed White's arm. "You do realize that I'm no longer a child. You can't make me do anything."

"Then you'll sit by and watch as wonderland is thrown into an eternal winter?"

It was if White had reached into Alice's head and pulled some of her thoughts forward. He knew what to dangle over her, and just how badly it would hurt her to hear them said out loud.

The teenager closed her eyes, breathing slowly and evenly. Could she truly say her thoughts on the matter out loud. Would they give up on her and let her go home if she tried to explain things to her…

"White, if you're going to hit below the belt… so will I." She exclaimed, suddenly angry. "If you'd talked to me a couple years ago I would've jumped at the chance to be queen. But you're a couple years too late. You guys had your chance to make me queen and you missed it. I've saved your Asses enough for one lifetime. It's cold, and I don't like saying it… but it's the truth, you let me go. You've tried to trick me, and you've lost all my trust. White, I don't give a damn what happens to your lying ass!" she turned away from him and began walking towards Cheshire's house.

Her heart was pounding. She waited to be called back. To have White's angry voice ring in her ears as she ripped her a new one.

But there was only silence.

A sweet, blissful silence.

Part of her felt guilty over the outburst, but another part of her was pleased beyond belief by it. She liked the fact that she'd finally found the strength to speak her mind to the man who'd once held her in his arms and whispered promises that could never be.

Love.

He'd promised to love her always, and then he'd sent her away.

She'd spent so many childhood years wondering what she'd done wrong. People didn't send you away unless you'd done something to make them angry, or upset. She'd wondered what she'd done to make them think that she wasn't cut out to be queen, what she'd done to make them hate her.

Tears were pouring down her cheeks, hot salty tears and were causing her shoulder's to shake with the effort to stop crying. She'd long ago realized that Crying was just one of those major wastes of time. And she didn't have the time to waste.

She reached Cheshire's house, shoulders still shaking. She pushed open the door and stumbled inside.

She froze when she saw who was sitting at the end of the cot she was borrowing.

"Dormouse?"

Dormouse lifted his head, surprise danced into his icy blue eyes.

Dormouse wasn't his real name, but it had been his nickname from the moment Alice had met him. She couldn't even remember his real name. He was either the same age as Alice or perhaps a few years younger. A teenage boy with a mop of sandy brown hair, blue eyes, and tan skin. He was handsome in a way that needed filling out. A couple years and he'd grow into the striking good looks that his bone structure promised.

He was dressed in travel clothes. A green tunic style shirt, black pants, and a pair of soft leather boots. a belt and sword were lying on the cot.

He got to his feet when he realized who'd said his name. "Alice," he exclaimed. He walked over to her and hugged her to him. "God, it's great to see you again." He whispered.

Alice was surprised to realize that being in his arms didn't cause her cheeks to burn, if anything she felt rather safe. It was as if Dormouse was some soft pillow or blanket that she loved more than anything and she'd found it again after a long while. It was simply as wonderful feeling.

"It's good to see you too," she admitted, looking up at him. it came as a sudden shock to her when she realized that he had a good couple of inches on her. When they'd both been children he'd been barely taller than her. Having to look up at him was simply shocking.

Suddenly the smile vanished from Dormouse's face, his eyes darkened and narrowed. "You need to go home," he said, "it's not safe for you right now."

Alice's lips twitched slightly. "Let's see, I've been kidnapped, probably almost poisoned, and found out that everyone who isn't you and Cheshire wants to make me queen," she rolled her eyes. "I was beginning to think things were normal. Why aren't I say?"

Dormouse stared at her for a good while before shaking his head. "The twins?" he questioned.

Alice nodded.

"Damn,"

The Dormouse stepped away from Alice and went back to his cot. He flopped down onto it, stretching out. "I should've known they'd do something like that." He looked up at her, "You're a very wanted woman, Alice."

Alice's lips twitched. She walked over and hesitantly sat on Cheshire's cot. "So I'm beginning to realize. It's not as good a feeling as one would imagine."

Dormouse chuckled. "I can only imagine how it feels." He admitted. "Though I must say, I'm surprised that White would bring you so close to her royal pain in the ass."

Alice's eyebrow rose, "The new queen?"

"Don't even call the idiot a queen," Dormouse said, pointing at Alice. "I'm looking at my queen."

"I take it back, you're one of the crazy lot." Alice flopped backwards onto the cot.

"Alice, it's the truth. Wonderland made it's choice, you were it."

"You guys also made _your _choice. You didn't choose me."

"It was a mistake."

"Maybe. But it's too late to fix that mistake, Dormouse. I'm all grown up. I don't believe in this fairytale mumbo jumbo."

Dormouse sat up and looked at her, an amazed expression on his face. "You can say that while sitting here, in a make believe world that is just as real as anything."

"Sometimes I think this is all some silly dream and I'm about to wake up," Alice admitted, "But so far I haven't woken up… though believe me you, I want to."

Dormouse closed his eyes tightly. "Alice, we'll you let us die for a single mistake?"

"Dormouse, I went back to a world that was changing. I didn't want to live in that world. I didn't want to sit there while my mother died, But when I tried to return to wonderland, you guys had already locked the door… how am I supposed to feel about that?" Alice sat up, tears dripping down her cheeks again.

Dormouse closed his eyes and shook his head. "We messed up,"

"You did more than that."

"and do you hate us for it?"

Alice turned and looked at Cheshire and White. She hadn't realized they were there. She sat up and buried her face into her hands. "Yes!" she yelled. "I hate you for it! I hate you for leaving me alone when I needed you!"

"You were growing up, Alice." White whispered, kneeling down beside her. "It's hard for me to say this… but you need to hear the truth. You were going to grow up, and we couldn't help you with the things you were going through. Don't you remember how we were during those days?"

Alice blinked into his reddish pink eyes. Thinking back on it, she remembered them all as being very childish, one of the reasons she'd loved them so. But the men she looked at now weren't the same as they had been when she'd left. "You've grown up…" she whispered.

White nodded his head. "That's what's changed Alice. Wonderland is growing up… we're not children anymore. I'm not a young man, my body has aged into that of an adult… I see things very differently now." He closed his eyes. His fingers reached out and touched her face softly, his fingers trailing against her mouth. "Some things I never saw before now are all I see." His eyes opened, the look in them was the same look the twins had form, a look of something like love, but it was more lust than love.

Alice shivered, she wasn't sure she like White looking at her like that, though part of her liked it a great deal. "Why did you age?" she asked.

"Because you did." White whispered. "Our queen aged… so we aged to better suit her."

Alice blinked. "Queen?"

"What is there to understand, Alice," Cheshire said. "When you left, your body continued to grow and age. Because of that we aged as well. Your mind changed, we changed to suit it."

Alice looked at White. "Explain it in a more sensible way."

"Our queen chooses to stay in wonderland, there is no going home once she agrees to become queen. The body she uses on earth, the one that is able to travel between worlds, is sent home, but her being… soul, stays in wonderland." He drew in a breath. "Without a true body, our queen never ages. You are already our queen…" he trailed off.

Suddenly a chill passed through Alice. "What do you mean I'm already queen?"

"White, tell her." Dormouse whispered. "Tell her what you've done."

"It was a mistake, I swear that upon my life." White whispered. "When the twilight tunnel collapsed… you're body was sent back to your world without you. That's why everyone was so shocked when you appeared… "

"You're already our queen," Cheshire said with a sigh.

"You lied." Alice whispered. "You said you wouldn't make me give my life for wonderland!"

Cheshire moved forward, kneeling down in front of her. "Just because you don't have your human body doesn't mean you can't die, Alice. You can die just like the rest of us. I didn't lie to you!" he placed his hands on Alice's shoulders. "White only told me what had happen after he arrived today, I swear that I didn't know you were already queen!"

Alice jerked away from him, "Don't touch me!" she screamed. "This is all your fault!" she sobbed.

Her life was over. She'd never be able to return home. She'd be trapped in wonderland for the rest of her life. And that was that. She drew her knees up to her chest and sobbed while her guards looked on.

She was queen of wonderland, but in her mind, she was a prisoner.


	4. Chapter 4

**AN: Wow, that you all so much for the reviews. I wasn't sure how this story was going to go over, but knowing that people are reading and enjoying it is a great feeling. **

**Some of my favorite characters are finally getting some page time. And the next chapter promises to be even better.**

**I know it takes forever to get the updates, but this chapter, without this AN, is 8,054 words. So you can see that I'm trying very hard to give you guys long chapters. On my Microsoft word, where the whole story is being written, it's telling me that this story, all together, is over 50 pages so far, and this is just chapter four!  
I can't imagine the length that this monster is going to end up being, but it's my favorite story, so I don't mind Alice demanding a long story.**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

Chapter four

--

During the next couple weeks, Cheshire, and White came and went. They tried to talk to Alice, but she wanted nothing to do with them. The emotions she was going through was too painful and she realized that in some ways, they had trapped her here.

So instead of sitting around mopping, Alice threw herself into different tasks. The Mother Gnome was always needing a little help in collecting items for her emotion potions.  
And she was a good person to talk to. She understood what it was like too be sad over something that, to everyone else around you, seemed like something little, when to the person feeling it, it was the only thing in the world that mattered.

Today, Alice was knee deep in mud. She was wearing a pair of rubber pants, boots, and an old shirt. The thing she digging around trying to find was a tiny root that could be used in courage potion. It hadn't been found for years, Mother Gnome thought it had finally died out.  
But Alice liked to think that she would be the one to find it.

So here she was, knee deep in a pit of orange mud, or at least she was going to call it mud. She was crouching down, hands buried up to the elbows in the stuff.

This mud wasn't like the mud back home. It was softer more watery. Though it was just as messy and hard to move around in.

"You're a mess," Dormouse said, from his place on dry ground. His hair was falling into his eyes, and he looked like he hadn't been sleeping well.

Alice turned as best as she could and gave him a hard look, "Do you have to pick on me?" she questioned, freeing her hands from the mud and standing up. She reached up and brushed a stray piece of hair out of her face.

Dormouse's lips twitched, he pointed and gestured to her forehead.

Alice cursed and rolled her eyes, "I know…" she shook her head.

Dormouse was perhaps the one person, out of the three that she called good friends, that she wasn't overly upset with. He'd had everything figured out, and he knew what would happen when they tried bringing Alice back to wonderland. It was one of the reasons that he had been completely against it.

White on the other hand was pleased with the turn of events. It was just another thing he wouldn't have to do later. He had always been that way though, why do tomorrow what you can get done today.

And Cheshire, well Cheshire wasn't happy or sad about it. He knew that it was better for wonderland that she stay and become queen, he may not have wanted to dirty his hands by being the one to drag her back. But he wasn't going to pretend to be happy or sad. He was just… Cheshire.

Alice moved through the mud and over to the main land.

Dormouse reached out and grabbed her hand, pulling her from the mud. "Don't know why you're bothering to look for it, it hasn't grown for years now." He said, wiping his hands on his pants.

Alice shrugged her shoulders. "It gives me an excuse not to be around when Cheshire and White are in the village."

"You can't avoid them forever,"

"I can try." Alice snapped. She drew back the emotion and closed it down. "Sorry," she sighed.

Dormouse shrugged his shoulders. "I don't blame you for being upset Alice. The fact they didn't tell you is just cruel." He shook his head, "I can't believe they thought they could get away with it."

Alice leaned her head against his chest, sighing softly. "I hate this… I was better off not knowing that I was trapped here… now it feels like some golden cage." She looked up at him. "It's a very pretty cage. But it's a cage nonetheless." Her eyes closed and she rested her head against his chest again.

Dormouse wrapped his arms around her and nodded. "I know. Believe me. I know that better than you do. I've been inside this cage for a long time now."

Alice looked up. "What do you mean?" she questioned.

Dormouse blinked slowly, "I wasn't born in wonderland, Alice, I was human."

Alice's eyes widened. She pulled away from him, her mouth opened and closed. "I never… I never knew!" she exclaimed. "Why didn't you tell me!"

His lips twitched. "You never asked."

Alice smacked his chest. "You ass," she said.

Dormouse smiled. He cupped her chin and leaned forward.

Alice froze.

Their lips brushed.

Dormouse pulled away and smiled at her. "Just remember, Alice, I know what you're going through. I've been there." He stepped away from her and started back toward the village.

Alice swallowed hard. She watched him with a strange look in her eyes. Her emotions were all over the place at the moment. She felt embarrassed, and a little upset by the kiss. Dormouse was a friend, he'd always been her friend. She wasn't sure if things should change.

"You two looked friendly."

Alice watched Cheshire appear out of thin air, "Have you taken to spying now?" she asked.

Cheshire crossed his arms and glared. "Never you mind. White wants to talk with you."

Alice snorted, "what makes you think I want to talk to him?" she questioned.

Cheshire groaned loudly. "Alice, please don't be a brat." He snapped. "It's important."

Alice held her arms away from her body, "You mind if I get cleaned up first?"

Cheshire snorted, "If I were you I'd be a brat and track mud all over his nice clean house, but… you've always been my better."

Alice grinned.

--

Alice marched into the large house that was being used by White, she was clean, but her hair was still dripping with icy water. It was a nice house, the floors weren't rotting out from under his feet, and the Gnomes had been worked to get the plumbing up and working again.

It had come to light that when the Duchess took control of the village she'd forced all the gnomes into one of the many working camps, to mine some of the precious herbs that were needed in the potions she was becoming famous for.

Without the gnomes to care for it, the village fell into total disrepair until Mock had _bargained_ for their freedom.

The queen's style of ruling reminded Alice of the Nazi's style of dealing with people they thought to be a threat, or lesser than themselves. They destroy it.

White was seated in a very nice wooden chair, the chair had been made from the wood of one of the fallen trees. It seemed that as Wonderland slipped further into an eternal winter, more and more of it's natural life had begun to die away.

The Gnomes had decided that they should honor each and every tree that fell in their village, and so they'd begun to repair the houses, build chairs and beds, use the wood to better the lives of themselves and the travelers that wandered here.

Alice thought it was all very honorable, but in some way it seemed cruel to use the trees in such a way.

"Alice," White greeted stiffly. He'd been treating Alice with a very exasperated attitude since she'd started ignoring him.

"White," Alice returned.

"Can we get along for a couple moments?"

"No promises."

White sighed loudly and looked to Cheshire and Dormouse for aid.

"Alice, this really is important news." Cheshire said, "Please don't behave like a child."

"Isn't that how you like me best?" Alice asked crossly, "as a child?"

Dormouse snickered. He was sitting atop the counter, his legs swinging underneath him. A look of total amusement on his face. "Don't look at me," he said when he got a cross look from Cheshire and White. "I'm a kid myself," he grinned.

Alice laughed at that. "What's this Oh so important news?" she questioned.

White sighed, his shoulders slumping in defeat. "Caterpillar wants to meet with you." He said.

Alice's eyes flash, "Caterpillar?" she questioned. "The same Caterpillar that asked you to bring me here in the first place?"

Cheshire and White exchanged glances.

"What makes you think I want to meet him?" Alice snapped, tapping her foot on the ground. "He's just about ruined my whole life!"

White sighed and shook his head slowly, "Alice," he said, a strangely gentle tone becoming apparent. "Caterpillar is dying." There was a true sadness in his voice.

Alice's eyebrows knitted together, "Wait, what? Dying… Wonderlanders don't die." She said, shaking her head. "You guys hardly age, let alone die!"

Cheshire shook his head slowly, "remember how I questioned if the duchess gave you tea?" he said softly, "I asked because she and Caterpillar had tea together. He was trying for the gnomes freedom. She poisoned the tea with some sort of herb. The Mother gnome has been trying to fine a cure but has been unable to do so." He looked at white.

"He has held on for a few years now, taking treatments that the gnomes have put together, but all they do is numb the pain and extend his life a little bit at a time." White explained, "but there is only so much pain a body can take before it finally gives up. He doesn't have much time life. If you don't meet with him whatever he wants to say to you will go with him to his grave."

Alice stared at them, waiting for one of them to laugh as say 'fooled you, haha' but they didn't. their expressions were completely serious and pained.

"I'll meet with him." Alice said. guilt was a powerful emotion, perhaps they could bottle it and give it to the Duchess, then she'd have to give them the cure.

--

Caterpillar was staying in the northern end of the gnome village, it was too far to walk, so once again Alice found herself clinging to Cheshire as the horse galloped down the makeshift road. each bump was enough to make her whimper.

"There, that wasn't so bad now was it?" White laughed, reaching up to help her off the horse.

Alice glared at him, but she let him lift her off the horse. When her feet touched the ground she thanked every god whose name she knew.

"I'm never doing that again," she stated.

White chuckled and smiled.

It always amused Alice that she could tell when he was smiling. His eyes crinkled just slightly, but it was always the tell tale sign. Even though she couldn't see his face, she knew what his emotions were, his eyes were truly the doorway to his soul. And he seemed to be a weary sort of soul as of late.

Caterpillar's hut was well built, it was obvious that the gnomes adored the slender man. And it was also obvious that he was dying.

Caterpillar had always acted as the Wiseman of Wonderland. If there was ever a question that needed answering one only had too hunt him down and if they could get pass the bitter personality they would find the answer.

Caterpillar hadn't changed all that much. He still had the most amazing brown eyes that Alice had ever set sight on. They were like milky chocolate orbs, stunning. His skin had a greenish tint to it, but that was normal. He was extremely slender now, but he'd always been slender. His forest green hair was tied in a braid, and looked like it had been well cared for. His whole face was rather lovely and proper looking, good breeding. He had an ageless sort of look about him, no one quite knew how old or how young he was. he simply was. His face was gaunt and there was pain in his eyes.

"Alice," Caterpillar said. "You've grown."

Alice walked forward and forced a tiny smile onto her lips. "People do that." She said, repeating the words she'd once said to Cheshire, "and you look horrible." She added.

Caterpillar gave a weak laugh, "and I feel it as well." He said, he propped himself up using the pillows behind him. "We need to talk about some things…" he didn't add the last bit, but it was already said. they needed to talk before he died.

Alice sat gingerly on the side of the bed. she looked over as White and Cheshire left the room. Dormouse had stayed in the main area of the village, apparently he was one of their best fighters.

Caterpillar waited until the door had closed before his face relaxed. "I suspect that you are only here because I'm dying." He said, "Am I right?"

Alice sighed, "It would be rude of me to lie," she said, "so yes, I'm only here because White and Cheshire made me feel guilty."

He smiled, "I'm glad you're honest Alice, it makes me believe that wonderland did make the right choice," he closed his eyes, "I can die peacefully knowing that."

"You tricked me," Alice said. "You knew the tunnel was going to collapse."

Caterpillar laughed, "I had no idea things would work out that way. Am I sorry that you lost your body? Not really, no." he looked at her, "Alice, you were always queen, wonderland would've found a way to bring you back with or without our help. But we need you here Alice, we need you to be our queen."

"Seems to me like you already chose a queen, we can both see how well she's working out." Alice snapped.

Caterpillar's eyes flashed, "Watch it!" he snapped, "I may be dying but I'll still knock you flat on your pretty ass,"

Alice smirked, "Nice too see you aren't dead yet," she shook her head slowly, "Do you really think you're going to die?"

"I've held on for so long Alice, it's so painful." Caterpillar admitted. "I'm a burden to so many…" he trailed off.

"You're giving up," Alice snapped, "Just like that, you're giving up because it hurts!" she laughed, "God, if I gave up every time something hurt I would've been dead a long time ago. My mother, dying of brain cancer, held on for five years!"

"I know." Caterpillar admitted, "she was a strong woman, we have her to thank for many of the things we Wonderlanders love." He smiled fondly.

Alice shook her head again, "She was brilliant, but she's gone." She looked at him. "You're still here. You have a choice. Let the Duchess win, die. Or fight until you can no longer hold on, until you slip away. But don't lie down and die, please." She closed her eyes. "I don't want someone I love to die."

"Love?" Caterpillar questioned, "There is no lost love between us Alice. You hate me, and I tolerate you."

Alice's lips twitched, "No. I do love you. It's strange, and I don't understand it. But even when I'm angry, even when I feel like I want to runaway, I realize that I love you guys… even those stupid twins." She closed her eyes again.

Caterpillar stared at her, "Love is such a strange thing," he admitted. "Would it bother you if I admit that I love you as well?"

Alice smiled, "Do you?" she asked, opening her eyes, "or are you just saying that because I'm sitting here?"

Caterpillar's lips twitched, he lay comfortably on the pillow and smiled at her. "Alice, I was content with the life I lived before you came back. I was even content to watch the queen destroy everything, because I knew I was going to die anyway." He closed his eyes. "Your being here, your presence… it's changed so many things. I feel things that I don't understand. I don't know if I love you, I know I want to touch you, because I know your skin will be as soft as a flower under my fingertips. I know that I wouldn't mind kissing you, holding you…" he trailed off. "Is that love?" he finally asked.

Alice stared at him for a moment. "Sounds like lust to me." She finally admitted, "But it could be love," she grinned. It felt awkward, hearing him talk like that. Like she was everything he'd ever dream of in a person. And it also creeped her out that she was slightly flattered by it all.

She reached out slowly and laid her hand atop his. A small smile curling on her lips, "is my hand as 'soft as a flower?" she teased.

Caterpillar's lips twitched again, he turned his hand over and cupped her hand. "Yes." He answered. The way he looked at her made Alice's heart pound painful in her chest. Her eyes felt hot with unshed tears. She didn't want him to die.

Caterpillar eyes widened, "Dear Alice, don't cry." He pleaded. "I'm not dead yet!"

Alice sniffled. "Why do you guys always do this to me?" she asked. "I don't normally cry but when one of you gets hurt I cry, why is that?" she asked.

Caterpillar smiled. "Because you love us," he said.

Alice closed her eyes, "I do." She admitted. Feeling rather silly, "I do love you."

"Don't you mean us?" Caterpillar questioned.

Alice sighed, "I love all of you, but what I meant was that I do love you Caterpillar, even if you are a world-class hard ass, and a jerk." She sighed. "I love you for it all."

Caterpillar smiled, "Enough for a kiss?" he asked.

Alice smiled. She shifted her body and leaned over him. Just before their lips touched she had a moment nervousness. She'd never kissed an older man before. She'd been kissed, sure, but she'd never kissed someone like Caterpillar. But then her lips met his and all thought vanished from her mind. His lips tasted like the sweetest of honey. It was like she was drinking something out of the kiss. It rolled like a liquid down her tongue and she trembled.

Caterpillar's frail arms slipped around her waist and pulled her closer to his chest. And Alice was only happy to comply. She pressed herself as close to him as she was able and she simply melted.

She didn't know what was happening, but suddenly hands were pulling her away from Caterpillar. She gasped for air as she fell back into someone's arm.

"Alice, Alice!"

She blinked up at Cheshire and smiled dreamily at him. "Love you," she whispered. She was happily drunk on the emotions that were pouring down her throat and she was gone. Slipping into her own private dreams, to which Caterpillar was playing a staring roll. Though later she'd admit that Cheshire had slipped in once or twice.

--

Alice rolled over and buried her face into her pillow. She felt like someone was taking tiny hammers and chipping away at her brain.

"Good morning," White's voice said in her ear.

She groaned and turned over. "What are you doing here?" she asked sleepily.

White cocked his head to the side, "Silly Alice," he said fondly, "You're asleep in my bed."

Alice sat up and stared at him. She quickly checked to see what she was wearing. She still had the same clothes on that she'd stared with. She breathed a sigh of relief.

"Do you think so low of me?" White asked crossly. "If I was going to bed you, I'd do it only with your say."

Alice's cheeks flushed, "No. No. No, we're not having this talk. There will be no talk about bedding anyone!" she got up and quickly fell back onto the bed, dizzy. "God, what happened to me?" she asked.

White laughed, "That's what I'd like to know. You can thank Caterpillar for whatever happened. Though I think you own him a thankful anyway, you seemed to be enjoying him greatly."

Alice blinked and suddenly all the memories came back. "Oh, my… god." She flushed bright red. "What did we… I mean… what happened!"

Cheshire opened the door and smiled, "Hallo, sleeping beauty." He said cheerfully. "Good too see you awake."

Alice's shoulders slumped, she had a very odd memory of telling him that she loved him. "What happened?" she finally asked.

Cheshire's lips twitched, "Why don't you tell me." He said, walking over to sit next to her. "I only caught the end of that little show."

Alice's cheeks flushed a dark red color, "Don't tease," she begged, "My head's not working right enough for teasing."

Cheshire laughed and reached out, his hand pressing against her forehead, "Does it ever?" he asked.

Alice sighed.

White shook his head and walked toward the door, he peered out of it, into the hallway. For a moment he frowned and said something then shook his head.

"Who's out there?" Alice asked.

"Caterpillar." Cheshire answered.

For a couple moments Alice didn't know what he was talking about. "He's out in the hall…" she trailed off. "What are you talking about?"

Cheshire snorted. "Whatever you two did it fixed him." he explained, "but I don't know if fixed is the right word for what happened between you two."

Alice sighed, "Cheshire, I'm really not in the mood for head games. Speak plainly, please." She said.

"He's not sick," White explained from the doorway, "I… I don't know what you did to him but it's like he was never sick in the first place."

Alice blinked slowly, then she repeated this action until the words finally settled on her. "All I did was kiss him." she said stupidly, look at the two men. "That's all!"

"We know." They both answered.

Alice sighed, "So… how does this happen?" she looked at White, "I mean, a kiss doesn't make someone all better, if it did people would be doing a lot of kissing."

White and Cheshire looked at one another; finally Cheshire stepped up to bat. "Alice." He said. "We're not sure what happened, but it could have something too do with the fact that you're our queen. Hearts was never kind too us and if we were ill she'd be dancing on our grave, not trying to cure us." He shrugged. "You're very unique."

Alice's lips twitched. "Unique…" she fully smiled, "I like unique."

She closed her eyes again.

--

When Alice managed to drag herself out of bed and into somewhat clean clothes, she walked outside the house and onto a patio that overlooked a large garden. When Alice stepped out and spotted it she stared in surprise, completely freezing in mid-step. It was the first sign of plant life that she had seen since arriving in wonderland.

Caterpillar was kneeling among the flowers, his hands running along the tops. His lips moved as he whispered to the flowers, smiling as if he understood what they were telling him.

"Flowers." Alice said when she'd walked down the stairs and into the garden, "I haven't seen any flowers since I got here."

Caterpillar turned. His face was still gaunt with the aftereffects of his illness but overall he looked fine. His eyes were bright, a cheerfulness that hadn't been there in a long time danced over his face. he stood up, brushing his hands on his pants. "They were here when I woke up." He explained, "They say the ground tastes good around here." He smiled.

Alice blinked, "Tastes good?" she said, eyebrow raised, "It's dirt…" she sighed. She was being picky again.

Caterpillar reached out and touched the tip of her nose with his finger. "Smile." He ordered.

Alice's eyebrow shot up and her lips twitched.

"That's my girl." He said, leaning forward to kiss her forehead.

Alice blinked. Something was wrong. Caterpillar had never pretended to enjoy her company, it had something too do with the fact that she'd insulted him on their first meeting. He'd never pretended to love her like the others did.

This change made her stomach drop. She swallowed hard and looked at him oddly, "Caterpillar," she said, "How do you feel towards me?"

Caterpillar's head cocked too the side, "What do you mean?" he questioned, "I'm fond of you, of course."

Alice sighed, "You used too hate me." She whispered.

Caterpillar's eyes widened, "I never hated you!" he said, the expression on his face said that he didn't believe a word of what she was saying. "I may not have always been kind but I certainly never hated you."

Alice shook her head. "Caterpillar, you were one of the people who didn't disagree when Hearts was going to have me executed." She gave him a hard look, "You've changed."

Caterpillar sighed loudly. He walked toward the patio.

Alice followed him, feeling a little sad that she was picking at a good thing. shouldn't she be happy too have Caterpillar treat her nicely?

But she wasn't happy with it. it bothered her too think that something she'd done might have changed his own personality. If someone was going too love her they should be allowed too choose it, not have it forced on them like some parasite.

Caterpillar took a seat in one of the chairs that surrounded the table on the patio. A teapot was sitting on the table and two places had been set.

Alice took the seat across from him. she carefully lifted the tea pot and poured Caterpillar some and then herself. She added some sugar and cream and when she'd finished going through the proper motions of taking tea she sat back in her chair and looked at Caterpillar. "are you not speaking to me?" she questioned when the silence had gone on longer than was proper.

Caterpillar reached out and took his cup, he brought it too his lips, blew a little, and took a sip. He set the cup back down on the little plate and sighed. "What am I to say?" he replied. "Am I too say; that I do love you? That I remember the way I felt before, and I know that before you kissed me I hated you. I don't know what you've done too me, would I undo it if I had the chance? I don't know." He looked at her with those amazing eyes.

Alice nodded her head. "And if you don't know what I've gone and done than no one does." She closed her eyes and sighed.

"If there's anyone who knows something about odd things happening it wouldn't be me." Caterpillar said, "It would be another person, one you know quite well."

Alice blinked, "Who would that be-" she trailed off and closed her eyes. "Isn't he working with the new queen."

"Indeed," Caterpillar said, "But if there's one person he'd welcome into his hospital it would be you and you alone."

"Hospital?"

"Asylum," Caterpillar corrected, "He runs the Queen's asylum. A place where people who refuse to conform are sent."

Alice stared at him for a couple beats, she was waiting for him too laugh and say 'Got'cha," or something like that, though it would have been completely out of character. But he didn't, his face stayed completely blank.  
She closed her eyes and sighed, "How did that happen?" she asked.

"He murdered Time." Caterpillar answered.

Alice's eyes snapped open, "He did what!" she shouted.

"He murdered Time," Caterpillar repeated.

"When did this happen?" Alice asked, a sudden sinking feeling in her stomach.

"A few months before The Queen arrived, Time died, and we thought that if we had a new queen she might be able to bring him back. But he didn't return."

Alice had a sudden flash of memory, a pair of shocking gold eyes, warm arms, and a strange moment. 'It's almost time'. "God damnit!" she snapped, "I should have known!"

"Known what?" Caterpillar said, eyes wide.

"Time," Alice answered, "I should have known it was him."

"You've seen him?" Caterpillar questioned.

"Yeah, I should think so. He's the doctor that treated my mother before she died." Alice explained, "He's also been helping me through her death for the last couple years. He was there at the party, told me that it was almost time, I didn't know what he meant by it… now I do." She sighed, feeling very dumb.

"Fancy that. One of us really was looking over you." Caterpillar chuckled. There was a tightness too his lips.

"Anyway, how did Murdering Time end Hatter as this doctor person?"

"Hatter and Time are twins." Caterpillar replied.

Alice blinked, "I didn't know that." She said.

Caterpillar smiled, "Not many do." He admitted. "They aren't identical like the Tweedle twins, so it's very hard too tell."

"So, Hatter murdered his twin and that made him go more mad than normal?" Alice asked.

Caterpillar shook his head, "He's not insane Alice, he just wants too find a way too bring his brother back. It's a selfish and selfless reasoning." He sighed. "He's been offered a chance to bring Time back, and he will do anything to see it true, even if it means destroying thousands of lives."

Alice looked at her hands. Wouldn't she do the same things to have her mother back? Wouldn't she give up everything to have a few more moments with her mother, to be able to talk to her, laugh with her, and admit that she missed her.

"So you think he'll know what's happened too you?" She asked.

Caterpillar nodded his head, "Yes. Hatter has had his fair share of odd things happen in the relationship department, some of them you wouldn't have understood when you met him the first time around." He smiled, "But I think you'll spot it right away now."

Alice blinked, "Ok, I'm confused."

Caterpillar laughed. "I will not speak of it." he shook his head in amusement. "Now the only thing we need is a way to get you there."

"You said that anyone who refuses to conform is sent there, wouldn't that work for me?" she asked.

"The queen has ordered anyone who finds you is to send you straight too her." He sighed.

"What if I didn't look like me?" she asked.

Caterpillar frowned, "What do you mean, if you didn't look like you?"

"If I cut my hair," Alice said, "My hair is one of those things that give me away. If I cut my hair, perhaps dressed like a boy…" she looked at him.

Caterpillar nodded, "That would do it." he smiled. "Though there's always the risk that Hatter won't believe it's you."

Alice grinned, "Oh, he'll know it's mean!" she laughed.

Caterpillar frowned, "Only thing left is to get the others on board with this."

--

"No!"

Alice looked at the two men standing in front of her. "Aren't I queen?" she snapped, "So, doesn't that mean I'm entitled too do things that I want."

"If it's not life threatening!" Cheshire said, throwing his arms up, "This is so life threatening!"

Alice crossed her arms. "Cheshire, Hatter won't hurt me!" she snapped.

"I wish that were true," Dormouse said from the doorway.

Alice turned and looked at him, "Why do you say it like that?" she question.

"Alice," Dormouse said walking over. He unlaced some of the ties on his shirt. He pulled it down over his shoulder.

Alice swallowed hard. "Oh." She whispered.

His shoulder was like something out of a movie, it looked like a robot arm. wires and metal twisted into his chest and went down to what must have been a fake arm. "How did…" she trailed off.

"Hatter did this too me." Dormouse answered, "He did it and doesn't even see it as causing me harm, he thinks he's fixed me instead of destroyed me." There was bitterness in his voice and face. he looked at her, "He will see you and think you need fixing, and when he has you strapped too a table he wont stop with one fix, it will keep going until you're one of his clock work puppets, slaves that are only useful to the queen. Could you stand that Alice? Being locked inside a metal shell, being able to feel, see, and some are even able to cry, but there's no saving them once they're 'Fixed'. Only death will save them and I've made it my mission to destroy as many of them as I can in my lifetime."

"Why didn't he…" she trailed off, nodding towards the rest of Dormouse's body.

"Finish me?" Dormouse smiled bitterly, "Hare stepped in and saved me. He put himself in harms way to give me time to run, like the coward I am."

Alice shook her head. She walked over too him and tried too give him a hug but he stepped away from her. "Dormouse," she said, "if Hare was going too put himself on the line for you than it was a good thing you didn't stick around and waste his act. You're not a coward, you simply survived."

Dormouse reached out and cupped her face between his gloved hands, "Alice, it's pretty to imagine that I'm not a coward, but Hare was scared, he didn't want to do what he did, but he did it for me." He closed his eyes, "I owe him my life, and I would give it too him without question."

Alice leaned forward and finally hugging him again. Now that she knew what his arm was she could feel the difference between the skin and metal. She rested her head on the skin half and closed her eyes. "He's fine." She said. "Hatter wouldn't hurt him."

"Haven't I made myself clear?" Dormouse said, gripping her shoulder roughly, he pushed her away and look her in the eye. "He doesn't see this as hurting!" he shook his head. "He'll think of it as fixing the problem!"

Alice closed her eyes, breathed through her nose and sighed. "Dormouse, I'm going to do what I'm going to do." She opened her eyes and lifted her head to look him in the eye. "You're my friend, I know what Hatter did to you was wrong, there's no denying that. But I have too speak to him, I have to try. I need to know what is going on with things… and if talking to him will help me understand, than that is what I have to do."

There was a thick silence for a couple seconds, finally White spoke. "Nothing we say will stop you?"

"No." Alice answered, trying to be kind.

"Than there is nothing I can say or do except help you," White stood. "If you're going to put your life in danger the least we can do is make sure you have a safety net to fall back on."

Alice blinked, "What sort of safety net?" she asked.

"It's an orb." White explained, "but inside it is the dust of a looking glass, collected from the original glass dust."

Alice nodded, "How's going to help me?"

"The glass dust acts like a true looking glass, it can transport you through the entire world of wonderland, through every mirror possible. In theory you can smash it on the ground and end up back here in seconds." Cheshire stated from his place. His face was carefully blank, pained. "But since there's only one we've never had a chance to test if it works."

Alice gave a slight shrug of her shoulders. "I'm just going to have to trust that it does." She smiled brightly, almost as if amused with everything.

"This is no laughing matter, Alice." Caterpillar said. "You could die."

Alice turned her head and looked at him. "I know."

The words lingered in the air long after they had been said.

--

Alice closed her eyes and breathed through her nose. Slowly she reached up and fingered the back of her hair. "It's… so short." She whispered.

"Well, you did say you wanted to look like a boy." Cheshire reminded her, setting the shears down on the vanity table. He reached his hand out and touched the back of her hair, sliding his fingers through it. "Not bad, if I do say so myself. And I do." He grinned.

Alice opened her eyes and looked up at him. "You're not vain now are you?" she grinned weakly. She was trying not to let her nerves get to her. She didn't want them to see that seeing what had been done to Dormouse's arm had really affected her mood. She was afraid.

What had happened while she'd been away? Why had Hatter Changed so much… it was like some horrible monster had snuck into the world she'd known so well, and that thing was changing pieces of the puzzle.

A couple pieces changed and the whole puzzle began to look different. A different picture was being formed over the whole.

And there weren't enough pieces in place to see the final image.

Alice stood up and brushed some hair off the back of her neck. "So, this thing should work, right?" she asked. Fingering the necklace around her neck.

Cheshire gave a small nod. "It should." He answered. He sighed and leaned back against the vanity. "I still don' t like this."

"You don't have to like it, Cheshire. You simply have to let me do it." Alice replied sharply. She was tired, and she was also scared that if someone offered her the chance to get out of doing this she might just take it.

Cheshire closed his eyes, a sad look on his face.

Alice chewed her lip for a second before reaching up and laying her hand flat against the side of his face. his skin felt so smooth under her fingertips. His skin would always be smooth, because this was likely the oldest he would ever get. Maybe he would age inside, but his body would always be caught somewhere between being grown up, and being a teenager. That delicate line of dancing, one step over the line and things changed.

Cheshire opened his eyes and looked into Alice's. He reached up and laid his hand against hers. "I'm scared for you." He whispered. He looked at her with those lilac eyes; the worry was finally on the surface of them.

Alice smiled softly, "I know." She answered. She closed her eyes, stepped closer, and laid her head against his chest. She breathed in the scent of him, a scent that was purely his. "I am too." She admitted.

Cheshire sighed loudly, "Thank the crown for that." He whispered. He removed his hand from hers and cupped her chin, lifting her head. "I worried that you weren't taking this seriously."

Alice laid her hand against his chest. "Believe me Cheshire, I'm not that stupid." She sighed, "I have trouble believing that the man I used to be friends with could do something so horrible to his friends. I guess I don't want to believe it, but I have too. I have to believe that Hatter has changed, that he isn't the person I used to know. I have to believe that if push comes to shove, he'll kill me."

Cheshire nodded his head, pleased. "I've been waiting for you too say that." He breathed.

Alice closed her eyes and sighed. She was content to stay like this. But it was strange to realize that. She liked Cheshire well enough, He had always been a pain in the ass, teasing her, mocking her, but overall… she did care for him.

"Alice?"

Alice lifted her head from Cheshire's chest and stared at Caterpillar. "Is it time?" she asked.

Caterpillar nodded his head. "It's time."

--

Alice's heart was pounding. She walked along the road, fingering her necklace. All she had to do was get caught by some card guards. It was the easiest task in all of wonderland right now, because the guards didn't care to ask questions.

Apparently they got paid for how many people they turned over to Hatter's asylum. It didn't really matter if they were guilty of treason to the crown; all that mattered was for the Card Guards to make as much money as possible.

It reminded Alice a little of her own world, the way politicians had stopped thinking toward the better good of the people they were supposed to help, all they cared about was fancy cars. Summer homes. And getting to a higher better paid spot. It was a sad sight indeed.

She swallowed hard again and sighed. She tucked the orb necklace underneath her heavy shirt and trudged forward, her boots sticking into the mud.

The snow hadn't fallen, but that didn't stop the rain from freezing on the ground, and during the day the sleet turned into a mushy something and made the dirt turn to mud. It was hard to walk through, and it was just plain annoying.

Her mood wasn't the best that it could have been. She was annoyed, afraid, and tired. Tired of being the last to know about the worst of the changes. She hated the fact that everyone was treating her like she was some glass doll.

It was the same feeling that made her think of Wonderland as a golden cage. Just because the cage is beautiful and you have room to move around, it didn't serve to make it any less a cage. It was just a very fine cage.

She was trapped in this world. But she wasn't sure if she minded it all as much as she had before. She was starting to accept everything. Even if she was still bitter about it.

Suddenly there was a strange sound. Singing.

"Hail the queen, long live the queen." It was two lines that were repeated over and over again.

Alice hesitated in her steps. She drew in a sharp breath and waited for the Card Guards to round the bend in the road.

When they came into sight Alice couldn't help but feel strange.

For some reason she hadn't give much thought to the Guards of wonderland's royalty. They hadn't changed all that much, but the changes that had taken place were enough to draw notice from her.

The once youthful faces looked aged. More grown. The uniformed were the same, each Guard was dressed in the color of his or her card queen or kings. Only the royal guards wore the New Queen's symbol.

"Halt!" One of the Spade Guards called out.

Alice raised her hands in surrender. "I mean no harm!" she called out, trying to deepen her voice.

When the two guards reached her they were quick to slap on restraints and throw her in the back of a large wagon that was being pulled by two old horses.

She wasn't the only soul to be picked up today. There was at least ten people crammed into the back of the covered wagon. The horses looked tired and thin. There was also five other Guards in the group.

During the bumpy ride across wonderland, Alice found time to think. She realized that she was beyond afraid. She was shaking slightly, her head downcast, hate shadowing her face. her teeth was clenched together in an attempt to keep them from chattering.

She didn't want to do this anymore. She didn't want to go and meet with Hatter, didn't want to see what kind of monster he had become in the years she'd been gone.

How anyone could reason the act of cutting someone up and trying to 'fix' them, she didn't know. She was thankful that she didn't know what was going through Hatter's head. It meant that she wasn't nearly as crazy as he was.

The wagon bumped along the road for a long while. Alice was beginning to ache with the constant bumping and jerking. She was beyond tired now. Her eyes continued to flutter open and shut. Something was happening to her, she just didn't know what it was.

And she wasn't the only one going through the motions of beginning to fall asleep. The other people inside the wagon also began to doze, their heads lulling against their chests. A heaviness was filling the wagon.

Alice sighed, fighting to keep her eyes open.

The wagon came to a bone jarring stop. And those who'd already fallen asleep tumbled forward, slamming against the floor.

The back cover was open and two faces that Alice knew quite well were looking at her. The Twins.

Slowly but surely they began moving everyone out of the wagon, strapping them to gurneys. They disappeared and reappeared a couple times.

By the time they reached Alice, almost everyone had been taken away.

Alice's heart was pounding as one of the twins, she could no longer tell them apart because they were dressed in white lab style coats that covered their shirts. And one of them had their hair tied back in a way that made it seem very short, pulled her out of the wagon and began strapping her down.

"Aren't you pretty." The twin said, studying her. His hand came up and rested against her face. "I know those eyes." He whispered.

"Edu!" a voice snapped. "Hurry up!"

Edu looked down at Alice, he chewed his lip. "What are you planning?" he whispered. Beginning to walk with the gurney. "I know you're not stupid enough to get yourself caught."

Alice swallowed, getting her mouth to work was a task she wasn't sure she was up to. "Hatter…" she whispered.

Edu's eyes softened. "It's a drug." He explained softly. "It'll only last for a little while. You'll be able to think again in a couple hours. I'll wait to tell Hatter you're here." He removed her hat and chuckled. "Your hair."

Alice couldn't help the goofy smile that slid over her lips. "why… help?" she asked.

"Because I don't always agree with my twin. I go where he goes, but I don't always agree." Edu whispered.

"Edu!"

Edu quickened his pace and didn't speak to the teenager again.

Alice could only stare upwards at the sky, and then the sky changed to a ceiling. She felt sick. Long corridors stretched around her. She could feel the walls on either side of her. And there was screaming somewhere in the distance. A terrible screaming.

She was wheeled into a room, the bed was shifted so she was sitting half up, half down, staring at the door to the room.

Edu looked at her for a moment, worry in his eyes. But he did his job. He turned away and walked out of the room, closing the door behind him with a loud bang.

--


	5. Chapter 5

**AN: This is short… compared to all the other chapters this is just a baby. I hammered at this chapter for days upon days upon days and got nowhere with it. If I didn't end it when I did, I would still be hammering weeks from now. **

**There are certain chapters that have to be there to move the plot along, get people to like certain characters and to introduce those characters into the plot. Then there are chapters that don't want to be written. This was one of those chapters. **

**Frankly, I hate this one. The characters did their own things while I was stuck trying to figure out what the hell was going on. Part of me wanted to give up control and just let Alice do her own thing, let Hatter take the stage a little more (He demands more time than any other character I've written thus far,) but I knew that if I let them do that I would give away too much of the plot. The only option was to cut the chapter short and try and space things out a little more.**

**I don't know if this is going to be the normal length for the new chapters that are to come, but after I started on chapter six I was able to write a little easier.  
I'm breaking the writers block by enjoying a guided tour on Elfwood. If you've never checked that site out, do so now. The art on there is lovely, and most of it does give a writer ideas. I saw one that was of a doorway in a set of trees… I might use that image later on in this story. **

**Anyway. As always. Read it. Review it. Then get luvs, obviously luvs are ten times more reliable than your authoress who happily disappears for weeks on end lol.**

**NO FLAMES. **

**Queenie.**

**--**

Chapter Five.

--

Alice wasn't sure whether it was for minutes or hours that she lay strapped to the bed, staring into nothingness. But slowly the fog around her brain began to lift; she was able to think a little more clearly.

She hurt. Her head. Her body. Everything. It hurt like she'd just taken a bad fall, which was odd as the only thing she'd done was ride in the back of a cart. That and get drugged without even knowing it. Spray drugging shouldn't have been fair play… but did any of these people play fair to begin with?

She squirmed against the straps, twisting her body this way and that. The straps held tight, pinning her against the mattress. She might have cursed if her tongue didn't feel like someone had put a fur coat on it.

All she could do was lay there and wait… wait for what though? Who would come for her? Would it be one of the twins? Would Edu give her away to Ede? The idea was enough to make her stomach knot itself.

The fact that she couldn't reach the orb, which felt like a warm weight against her chest, bothered her beyond everything else that had happened so far.

Then there was the fact that time was going very strange inside of the room. Alice wasn't sure if it was the drugs or if it was her own head playing tricks on her. She found herself feeling like she lay there for hours but it couldn't be possible… could it?

She began counting the cracks in the ceiling. It was all she could do.

She didn't want to think about the fact that for the first time in her life, she had to save herself. There was no dad here, no Cheshire, no White. The only person who was going to ride to her rescue had to be herself.

She felt terribly alone in that instant.

It was the sound of the door opening that made Alice's heart jump into her throat, beating so fast that it pounded in her ears. She could taste her own pulse in her throat. choking. She strained her neck to see who had entered the room.

Hatter.

He was the same as she remembered him. His white hair was tied back in a braid that trailed down too the center of his back. His eyes were silver on the outside and golden as a sunrise in the center. His skin was liquid moonlight. He was tall, slender, and insanely handsome. He was the opposite of his brother in the sense that he was the sunrise. Time had always been the sunset.

He was dressed in a long-sleeved shirt, the sleeves rolled up, a pair of brown fingerless leather gloves covered his hands. A red vest was worn over top of the shirt. on his head was a typical black top hat. Dark colored pants with silver lining made his legs look long and slender, but they were long and slender anyway. A pair of knee-high boots completed the look. A look that was more suited for the inside of a goth club.

He looked older, tired. His eyes, his face, his body language, everything about him spoke of weariness. He looked at Alice with those sunrise eyes, and he looked almost afraid, like he knew something he didn't want to know.

Alice gave up strained against the restraints and instead tried for a small smile, "Hi," she whispered.

Hatter's eyes stayed carefully guarded, "Why are you here, Alice?" he questioned. His voice was so soft, but it also had a touchable quality to it. It was like someone had run a feather down the length of Alice's body, at a very slow pace.

She shivered. "Can't I just stop by and say hello?" she teased, her voice soft. She could taste her own fear; it was something alive, so thick and hot in her mouth. She swallowed it back.

Hatter's eyes flashed, "Don't play, Alice." He hissed. He stepped closer to her, anger filling his eyes, causing the colors to blend and ripple. "Don't play like we're friends."

Alice flinched. That had been a low blow. "…I thought we were friends…" she whispered.

Hatter stared at her for the space of a heart beat. Then his eyes darkened, the beginnings of a storm. "You shouldn't have come back!" he screamed, his hands slammed down on the bed, inches from Alice's side. "You should have stayed gone!"

Alice flinched away from him. "Hatter, what's wrong?" she whispered. "Why are you so angry with me?"

His shoulders were shaking, head lowered, his hat almost falling off. "I accepted it, Alice, I accepted the fact that you were gone… I…" he whispered, "I tried to forget you. I wanted… needed to forget you," he lifted his head, eyes brimming with tears, "and here you are, you come back. Expecting things to be the same. Your always a selfish brat."

Alice felt angry, "Don't you go blame me." She snapped, straining to look at him, "I wasn't the one who abandoned you, wonderland abandoned me! I didn't choose to come back, I didn't choose any of this!" she was crying. Why was it that the men in her life always seemed to make her cry. At home she never cried like this. She had fought the tears that had wanted to come after her mothers death… and yet here, with these men, she cried like a baby.

Hatter's finger slid against her cheek, his skin so soft. "Don't cry,"

Alice blinked up at him, confused by the sudden change. She swallowed hard when she saw the look in his eyes.

"I don't want you to cry." Hatter whispered again. He leaned forward.

Alice snapped her eyes closed at the last second. The touch of his mouth against hers was… strange. But before she could try and understand the feeling and taste of him, a sensation built up inside of her. She could taste his sorrow, so rich and thick in her mouth. He felt regret. He didn't want to hurt those people, but he didn't know how to stop. He was afraid of himself because he enjoyed it. He enjoyed the feeling of a blade cutting into flesh. He enjoyed the sound of screaming… and he was selfish. He wanted Time back. God damn him for it, but he would kill everyone to get his brother back. But he would have felt better if he didn't enjoy killing them.

Alice drew the taste of his sorrow, pain and fear into her mouth. It was like someone had placed a hard candy in her mouth, the taste of it was sweet, but it boarded on being painfully sweet, too much of a good thing. She swallowed it, drew it in to her body. Frantic to drink it down before she drowned in it.

Hatter trembled above her, his hand had cupped the back of her neck, holding their mouths together, his tongue dipped into her mouth, giving her something to focus on.

Alice had never kissed someone like this, but she slowly sucked on his tongue, focusing the feeling of drinking in whatever it was she was swallowing. The kiss made things lower in her body tighten so hard and fast it was painful. She couldn't deny it felt good to be kissed like this.

Hatter moaned into the kiss. He pressed the front of his upper body against her, or as much as he could with the angle being so odd. The taste and feel of her mouth was strange, so different than the mouth that he was used too. But it was pleasant nonetheless.

Alice took in all the sweet sorrow that she could, and then she broke this kiss. It felt like she'd gone swimming and swum too deep, she was swimming toward the surface of the water but her lungs were screaming at her, a panic had settled over her chest. And then she broke the surface that rich, warm air filled her lungs.

She lay there blinking. The light of the room was suddenly too bright, making her head hurt a little. Hatter's weight felt gentle and warm. She could have buried her face into the crook of his neck and stayed there for a very long time. Instead she turned her head to rest against his shoulder as much as she could with the restrains still in place.

She could smell him. It was a very strange sensation, one she'd never thought of before. Humans had their normal five senses but she'd never thought about how much use they were before. It was as if someone had jolted all the senses of her body into overdrive, and she couldn't help but sigh. The scent that came off of Hatter wasn't something she knew, but her brain translated it into smells she did know. It was like rain, that strange scent of rain just before it falls, when the first few drops had just hit the ground and the earth gives that first shy kiss. It was mixed with another scent, a scent that Alice wished she hadn't smelled. Blood, that rich, irony smell that was almost over powering.

Alice shuddered as these thoughts and feelings washed over her. The smell of rain, that which gives life. And the smell of blood, the scent that is almost always present with death. These two smells should have clashed, they shouldn't have mixed well, but they did.

They blended perfectly, and they were the scents of their owner, a man who was forced to walk the delicate line between giving life, and taking it. A man who was ashamed of the fact that he had taken on the role of Death, he was the ferryman of the river.

God help the ones who didn't have a coin to cross.

Hatter gave a lazy blink of his dual colored eyes. He slowly lifted his head away from Alice, her breath was hot and tickled along his skin. His emotions felt like someone had tied them in a knot. He felt both tired, like he'd been running for a while, and he also felt like someone had just jolted every nerve in his body. It was an odd feeling but a very good feeling as well.

Alice sighed when Hatter pulled away from her. She could breath again without catching his scent. It let her brain settle a little better. She shifted and blinked a couple times. "What… just happened?" she whispered.

Hatter leaned heavily on the bed, his hands clenching against the pale sheets. He gave a small shake of his head. "I… I don't know." He whispered.

Alice laughed weakly, "Great… if you don't know than no one does." She shook her head.

"Caterpillar might…" he mumbled.

"Been there, done that. He doesn't have a clue." Alice mumbled.

Hatter blinked, "When did you meet that old fart?" he asked.

Alice's lips twitched. "It's kind of a long story." She said, "and I'm tired."

Hatter gave a gruff laugh, he was barely staying on his feet. "Alice… you amaze me," he said, shaking his head slowly. "I haven't felt like this in a long time."

Alice grinned, "Who've you been kissing?" she teased.

Hatter blinked in surprise, "Never you mind!" he said sharply.

Alice giggled. "Fine, fine, be that way!" she closed her eyes. A feeling of exhausted feeling settled over her. She felt Hatter's fingertips brushing against her cheek, they were rough and warm, and she leaned into his touch.

She couldn't help the fact that her emotions toward Hatter were suddenly very confusing. One second they weren't friends at all, now… what were they now? It felt like they'd gone back to being best friends; laughing and teasing one another as if nothing had changed.

Hatter gave a shake sigh. There was one thing he could think of, only one reason as to why he and Alice had reacted that way to each other. But it couldn't be that. If it was _that _then that would mean…

He sighed softly. "Alice?" he said.

Alice blinked her eyes open, "Yeah?" she mumbled.

"Are you… did they make you queen?" he asked.

Alice tried to focus, but her brain was somewhere else. "Tricked me, but yeah." Why was she telling him this? He was working for the queen! But whatever the kiss had done to her it made think of him the way she had as a child, her was her friend.

"That would explain it." Hatter mumbled. He sounded stressed.

"Explain what?" Alice asked.

"You're changing us to suit you,"

Alice forced her eyes open again, she hadn't realized they'd closed. "Changing?" she asked.

"A queen is what her people need her to be. She changes to suit them and they to suit her. But each queen has a different way of going about this. Heart's only needed to touch one of us to change us, but she was able to twist her powers into cutting one way. In the end she changed us but not herself. The new queen isn't able to change us at all…" Hatter trailed off for a moment, "and you, it seems, change us with a kiss, with love and emotions. You're able to turn something as simple as a kiss into a channel for your powers. It would seem that love, lust and all emotions of that nature are what you'll be able to use." He sighed.

Alice snorted. She still felt fluttery inside, and there was a heat inside her stomach that couldn't be put out just yet. Wouldn't it be humorous if Hatter was right and lust was the way she handled things? Maybe not lust but love, love she was comfortable with admitting, lust on the other hand scared her. Lust was something that just happened. There were no emotions behind lust.

Hatter reached out again and smoothed his hand through her hair, "You should be frightened, but you aren't… why is that?"

Alice hesitated, "I don't know." She admitted. "I feel very calm, I know you wont let anything happen to me." She admitted. She lifted her head and looked at him, letting him see what was dancing in her eyes. "Does that make any sense to you?"

"More than I like," Hatter admitted. He reached one of his hands up and pinched the bridge of his nose. There was a sense of unease in the way he stood. He kept shifting the weight from one foot to the other, guilt was beginning to fill his eyes.

All of these were things that normally Alice would have missed. But now, she noticed every detail about him. The way his eyes seemed to have just a little bit of black mixed into the gold color. The way his nose was narrow and slightly pointed at the end. And the way his whole face seemed strained. It was as if he were fighting something inside himself.

"Hatter?" Alice said, "could you please release the restraints?"

Hatter blinked in surprise. He looked down at the straps that bound the teenager to the bed. A smile curled over his lips. "I guess I could do that," he said.

Alice rolled her eyes as Hatter's fingers began to nimbly undo the buckles.

How had things ended up so strange?

Was that one of those questions that just didn't have an answer?

--

**EN: Well. Short… I said it was short. Anyway. Any mistakes would be mine and mine alone. If you could point out the spelling mistakes (ones that slipped by,) I would be very grateful. I was so done with this by the time the edits came up that I probably did a piss poor job on it.**

**Queenie. **


	6. Chapter 6

**AN: Well, I'm not dead, that has to count for something! and I come bring an update, there's good news. The bad news is that this writers block is still going strong and the problems in my personal life are building to a lovely song and dance set. **

**Anyway, tomorrow I had hoped to get some writing done, seeing as it's my day off, but I ended up being asked to baby sit a little longer, my sister is working late, and after that I'm going to see a play with my mom and grandmother (Little Shop of Horrors, lol). **

**Also, the style of writing has changed a little, if you can't tell. I ended up getting the Lord of the Rings audio books from the library and somehow its been sucked into my writing style, though I admit that I don't mind that all too much.**

**So, ending this long authors note. I'm still working on this story and the others. But I'm a little worn out lately, I wont say I'm burned out because I think, or at least I hope, I will always have a love for writing. It's one of the few things in life that I can do and, normally, no one will bother me or care about it. The only time I've gotten in trouble for writing was when my mom snooped and found some of my more... adult, taboo stories lol.**

**So, enjoy the story!**

* * *

Chapter Six

* * *

A few minutes later Alice was sitting in a chair, the chair was located in Hatter's office, and the office itself felt like a room that would belong to the slightly insane man.

The floor was a dark wood. Mahogany maybe? The desk and the wood details of the furniture were also made out of the same wood. Alice studied all this for a moment. Her brain was still a little fuzzy, not working as sharply as it should have.  
The tea, which was so warm that she could feel it burning her hands as she lifted it to her lips, was helping a little.

"So, explain this to me one more time," Alice said as she set the tea down on the end table.

"All queens have the ability to change their people, but the knife cuts both ways. Some are better at hiding that second cut, some aren't. And some are like Hearts, where the knife cuts only one way." Hatter explained as he set his own cup down. The cup clinked against the white, silver lined plate.

Alice gave a nod of understanding. That would also explain why all of the friends she had made in wonderland on her first visit had been so cruel and calculating. Heart's must have changed their personalities quite a bit.

Still thinking about this, Alice reached out and took one of the pieces of sweet bread. She held it between two fingers for a moment, studied the swirling pattern on top of it, and popped it into her mouth. The bread was as sweet as anything she'd ever tasted; and it had a sweet buttery feeling to it, It rolled across her tongue. Even before she'd finished swallowing the first piece, she'd already begun to reach for the second.

Hatter watched her with bright amusement on his face. "Do you like it?" he questioned when she'd finished her second piece.

"Is it that obvious?" Alice asked, shyly looked him in the eye.

Hatter's lips twitched, "Only a little," he lied.

"Who made them?" Alice questioned, "I know you're a good cook; but you're nowhere near as good as the person who made these." She leaned back in the chair and waited for an answer.

Hatter couldn't help the soft laugh that bubbled up from somewhere inside of him. It had been a long time since he'd had a good reason to laugh. When he'd calmed himself down again he looked at Alice, amazed that she was so innocently adorable. "March cooked it, and as you should very well know, he is a fine cook." He explained.

Alice's eyes went wide. "Ma- oh! You mean Hare, right?" she questioned. She'd never heard Hatter use a nick-name toward Hare before.

Hatter looked just as surprised as Alice at his slip up. "Of course I mean Hare," he said in diligently. He crossed his arms against his chest and made a very funny face.

Or at least Alice found it funny. She giggled slightly and shook her head. "How is he these days?" she questioned.

"Fine," Hatter remarked. He seemed to look away from her, as if knowing she'd see something of the contrary in his eyes.

Alice sat a little straighter and leaned forward, her elbows resting on the desk. She cocked her head to the side and gave him a very hard look.

Hatter looked sideways at her and flinched. He chewed his bottom lip for a moment before he finally looked her in the eye, "He's fine, Alice." He stated. "Don't you believe me?" there was a pleading note in his voice. It was the same note that Alice had taken with her father when she'd thrown a baseball through the downstairs window: Please believe me, trust me! I'm only lying a little.

Alice cocked her head to the side, eyebrow raising. "I trust you as much as you deserve, Hatter."

"That's not a proper answer at all!" Hatter exclaimed, his annoyance rising.

"It's as proper as your answer, is it not?" Alice remarked. Her amusement in this conversation was growing the longer it continued. They were trading lies and insults as if they were either very good friends, or very childish children.

Hatter sighed, raised his hands into the air for a moment and then let them drop back to his sides. "March is somewhere around here," he said, forgoing his attempt to stop the use of the nick-name.

If Alice caught or minded the use of a nick-name she ignored it for the moment. "Can I see him?" she probed, remembering Dormouse's tale.

Hatter sighed and pushed his chair out, he stood, a tall figure on a normal day, when he was angry and annoyed; it seemed that he grew a little in height. But perhaps that was because he continued to frighten Alice a little bit. He was like a tiger at a zoo, beautiful, lovely, graceful, but as dangerous as they come. There was no getting around the fact that he could kill you if it suited him.

Alice kept telling herself that she should mention the fact that Time was still alive; she really should mention it to him. But every time opened her mouth to say those fateful words. Her voice failed her. She didn't know how he would react to it, whether he would be pleased or angry. She didn't want to hand him that bout of bad/good news.

Alice stood as well, pushing her chair back a little more calmly than her host had managed. "Why are you in a bad moon now?" she questioned.

Hatter looked at her, "Do you want to see March or not?" he replied sharply.

Alice sighed, "Yes, I do." She snapped in returned.

Hatter gestured toward the door, "Than let's go. Or have you something else you'd rather do?"

Alice gave an 'after you' gesture. Hatter groaned and stalked out the door.

--

The hallways of the hospital, or at least Alice thought it looked like a hospital, were a pale white color. The whole place in fact was all rather colorless and boring. She studied the lack of color for a moment and tried to reflect on whether this was Hatter's choice or if it was just lack of caring. There was the typical hospital smell to the area, a thick smell that was hiding something, most likely death. It wouldn't have been a surprise to Alice to learn that many people had lost their lives in this place. In fact she was sure she already knew it to be truth.

"What are you thinking?" Hatter questioned.

"Don't you know?" Alice replied.

This confused Hatter for a moment and caused him to falter in his step. "Why would I know what you're thinking?" he questioned. The confusion in his voice made him seem a little more human, a little more normal and not something that was completely out of reach.

Alice studied his face for a moment, she was surprised that he had forgotten. "When I ran away from the tea party, after you and March threatened to cut my head off for insulting you…" Alice began, she faulted and almost laughed at the memory. Wonderland had never been a safe place, but she'd only ever cried when someone threatened her life, which wasn't often, but had happened enough to bother her as a child. "You came and found me, I thought I had hidden myself quite well, I asked you how you fond me and you picked me up like I was a much smaller child, you set me in your lap and told me 'Alice, my dear little Alice, you and I are very much alike, I know where I would go, therefore I know where you will go. It stands to reason, my dear, that I know you better than you know yourself, and you know me better than anyone!' I believed you. You know me well enough to know what I think of your hospital." she finished.

Hatter stared at her in amazement. Finally he closed his eyes and smiled, tears held war with the corners of his eyes, but his will won that fight. He opened his eyes and smiled. "You think I'm lazy for not putting more color in these hallways." He stated.

Alice smiled, "Yep," she answered.

Hatter chuckled and shook his head, "Glad to know something's never change."

Alice smiled even brighter. Hatter had just mirror her previous thought. In ways of that nature the two were still very much alike, though Alice was beginning to see that they both had changed quite a bit. Alice had grown up into the body of an adult, though she still had a few years to adjust to the strangeness of some of the emotions that were part of the package. Hatter had also changed, whether for good or bad; Alice didn't feel it her place to say.

The continued down the corridors, a comfortable silence had fallen over the two. It was as if the remembering of older days had awaken something, or stolen something away. Perhaps that tense silence had been broken by the fact that both of them really did know each other better than almost anyone in wonderland could (or Would) claim.

"Here we are," Hatter said at last, the stopped in front of a plain wooden door. When Hatter turned the knob and pushed the door inwards; it revealed a set of stairs that twisted down and out of sight.

Hatter stepped into the stair well first and waited for Alice to join him. "Close the door if it pleases you," Hatter requested.

Alice wondered what he would have said if she had told him that it didn't please her to close the door, though she was far too polite towards him to tease him like that. They were getting along as well as any old friends could, the spending of so many years apart had really effected something about them, and Alice wasn't quite comfortable enough with Hatter yet, teasing him was something she might do when they were a little better on with each other.

Hatter reached to his left and pulled one of the lanterns off the wall. The flame instead it hissed at the sudden movement. He turned and cast a look back at the teenager, "Ready?" he questioned.

"As I'm ever going to be." Was Alice's answer.

--

The stairwell seemed to stretch on for miles. Whatever room or rooms were at the bottom of it had to be at least a hundred feet underneath the hospital. Though if Alice remembered correctly, they _had _gone up a large mountain on the way to the hospital. she remembered this because whatever drugs had been floating through the air had made her feel tired and stupid; and when they'd reached the incline she'd ended up leaning heavily against another person.

So perhaps they were winding their way through the mountainside and out to somewhere else? It was a thought, and it wouldn't have surprised Alice to learn that that this staircase was Hatter's idea.

It was true that Hatter was very much like White in the way that he preferred to save as much time as possible. It he didn't want Hare living in the hospital, it stood to reason that he would want him near enough. The idea that Hatter would have some place to live outside the dull white walls of the hospital was normal enough.

Alice wouldn't have blamed him for not wishing to dwell inside that strange place. The hospital had left a bitter feeling in Alice's chest, as if it had sucked some bit of happiness out of her soul and taken it deep inside. It was a living, breathing monster, one that would never be defeated until spring returned to Wonderland.

"Watch your step," Hatter called to Alice. He glanced back at her and was quickly grateful that he'd decided to warn Alice about the next few steps, which were much narrower than the previous steps. The teenager had a distracted, glazed look over her face. she was so far in her own thoughts that she might have stumbled and gone tumbling down the stairs, it would be his luck after all.

Alice caught herself just before the fist change of step size. She blinked at this and lifted her head up to look at Hatter questioningly. "Why do they change?" she questioned.

Hatter gave a tiny shrug of his narrow shoulders. "I can't say I know," he admitted, "These stairs were here long before I found them. They go up into the mountain, I only added the steps that go into the hospital." he explained.

"Where does the other staircase go?" Alice questioned.

Hatter's eyes darkened for a moment, an expression passed over his face and he fell completely silent. He didn't answer the question and the previously thick silence that had vanished in the hospital suddenly came back and wrapped dark arms around them both.

Alice knew that whatever was at the top of that other staircase; it wasn't pleasant. She had a sudden flash of memory. Sharp teeth, a harsh mocking voice, and the sound of wings, She shivered.

"There are something's that should only be spoken of after the sun is high in the sky and you're comfortable inside a house, with a fire burning brightly to warm the chill out of the air." Hatter finally whispered. "We'll do best not to speak of it or think about it. sometimes just a stray thought is enough to bring such monsters roaring back to life and out of the darkness. This place is far to dark for my liking."

Alice gave a small nod of her head, "I very much agree with you, Hatter." She commented. She stepped a little closer, picking up her pace to keep within touching rang of him. if something did spring out of the darkness, she'd be damned if she didn't drag Hatter along for the ride.

Finally though, the darkness began to break away, rays of light began to shine through from somewhere at the bottom of the stairs. It took a little more walking before Alice was able to see that the darkness gave way to a door.

The door was opened and framed in a warm light, though it seemed to be fading, which caused large shadows to move about the ground.

They stepped through the doorway and the smell of fresh air washed over Alice. She breathed through her nose and realized with a jolt that she was sweaty and a little tired. Somehow, walking through the darkness, she hadn't realized just how tired she'd begun to feel. Now though, with the fresh air and fading sunlight drifting down on her, she felt every ache and pain.

Hatter glanced back at her, a kindly smile on his lips, "As much as I dislike you right now, you'll be allowed to rest at my house when we reach there. But you've got to walk on your own feet for a time, I won't be carrying you, even if you are a queen."

Alice snorted, "Believe me, Hatter. If this is what being queen means; I'm sure I would gladly give it to someone else. It's far too much work for my liking, tiring as well. And having my life be put in danger isn't what I imagined being queen to be like." She smiled and shook her head gently. "It certainly is a change of pace from my old life."

"I can only imagine." Hatter commented, "Your world is strange and bizarre, in my option."

"You've been there?" Alice asked, suddenly feeling surprised.

Hatter looked back at her, a confused expression on his face. "No… wait… I'm not sure…" he trailed off and shook his head, "These aren't my memories… I think I'm seeing some of your memories. How odd."

Odd didn't quite cover it, and it was quite discerning for Alice to imagine Hatter getting a look inside her head like that. It was just another check on the list of strange things that had happened since Alice had arrived.

One: She was now queen of a world that she'd believe to be a made up place.  
Two: She had powers coming on line that made little sense to her and took away most of her previously enjoyed modesty, kissing men was one thing, making out with them was another.  
Three: Hatter was now seeing memories from inside her head. That was just wrong in so many ways.

The landscape that they were now looking at was strangely bare. A lonely looking house stood alone on the flat land. A few willow trees surrounded it, and just outside the front door was a large flower bed. the flowers were blooming in bright reds and cheerful yellows.

Alice studied this scene and smiled, "It stands to reason," she mumbled.

Hatter glanced over at her, "What's that?" he asked.

"The flowers. It stands to reason that Hare would keep flowers or something near him. he always was good at growing things." Alice explained, "I think Caterpillar is the only one who can boast a greener thumb than him."

Hatter smiled at that, there was almost a kind of loving pride in his eyes. But as soon as Alice saw it she realized that she must have misunderstood the look in his eyes, why would he be proud of Hare?

"March loves things that grow," Hatter agreed, "He always has, since as long as I've known him that is."

"When did you two meet?" Alice questioned as they started down stone paved path that lead up to the front door of the house.

"It was so long ago… I don't remember the date, or even the year, but I know that I was still young, and Hearts hadn't yet become queen." Hatter looked over at Alice with a smile. "March comes from the outer isles, I met him when he'd just arrived in wonderland, he'd been aboard one of the cargo ships that came in during those years. He was about the same age that you were when you first arrived. Thin and ill kept. For some reason he gravitated toward me, though heaven knew I didn't want him." Hatter tilted his head back and laughed loudly, "He wasn't going to let me get away that easily, and no matter what I did… he stayed."

Alice smiled, "You're… fond of him aren't you?" she questioned.

Hatter gave a small nod, "and I grow more and more fond of him as the days go by. Though not even I understand the reason behind it." his voice fell quite at that last part. He was thinking too hard about something, almost as if the 'something' worried him.

Alice let him keep his silence; she wasn't pressing him on the oddness that was his and Hare's relationship. She wasn't sure if she was ready to understand the truth behind it, because her brain told her what it knew of the two, and her heart knew it to be true.

But that was something she wouldn't think to hard on.

They reached the door of the house, a soft pale wood door that opened into a brightly lit entry hall. The smell of something cooking reached their noses and both had a sudden urge to eat again.

"March!" Hatter called out, closing the door behind Alice, "We've a guest!"

Alice glanced around the hall, the place was covered in pretty paintings, a soft fluffy carpet, and the walls were painted a soft lily-white color. It was lit by softly glowing lanterns.

The sound of things being set down reached Alice's ears, she turned towards a doorway to the left of the entry hall and her heart fluttered in her chest when Hare walked out, looking calm, and completely unharmed.

"Who-" Hare trailed off when he saw Alice, for a moment his mouth opened and closed, then at last, he started laughing. "Alice!" he cried joyously.

Alice couldn't contain the strange feeling of happiness that soared through her body at the sight of him. she ran forward and flung her arms around him, holding his tightly. "Hare!" she sobbed against his chest.

If there was one person in wonderland that she'd gotten along with from the start, besides Dormouse that is, it was Hare. He'd been one of the few Wonderlanders that had welcomed her with open arms.

He wasn't tall, but he wasn't short either, a normal height that suited his build perfectly. He was older that Dormouse, but not by much. But the extra years made a large difference in his body. While Dormouse was forever stuck at that boyish point of the late teenage years where the body was still waiting to fill out, Hare had passed that point.  
His body was level and evened out, shoulders broad, narrow waist, and a head full of shaggy brown hair, the hair could be sleek looking if he took the time to brush it and tie it back after a shower, but at the moment it was left as it normally was, though it had grown longer since Alice had last seen him. the bangs, which had once been proper, were now longer and kept falling over his eyes.  
His mouth was generous and nice looking, nose was narrow, and his eyes were poppy blue.

He was dressed in a loose fitting white shirt that was a couple sizes too bit and draped off his shoulder a little bit. his pants were brown and fit him nicely, they looked like riding pants. He was barefoot.

He regarded Alice with complete surprise, but he laughed gently and wrapped his arms around her, though not before shooting Hatter a very confused look.

Finally when Alice had gained some control over herself again; she dislodged herself from Hare and took a careful step back, looking him up and down. She approved of the changes in him, they suited him, and the aging that had taken place was careful and very well done, bringing him just enough into adulthood to give him that look, that look that spoke very clearly of a more mature nature. Careful, wise, but still playful and sweet at the same time.

Hatter smiled and shook his head, "Do you fling yourself at every male you meet?" he teased, winking at Alice.

Alice crossed her arms against her chest, "Forgive me for being happy to see an old friend who doesn't appear to have gone all evil on me!" she shot back.

Hare laughed and wrapped his arms around Alice's shoulders, pulling her against his chest, "Hatta' be nice!" he pleaded, laughing gently at the expression on his friends face.

Hatter frowned at the use of his nickname, "Whatever," he said dismissively. Though a small smile curled over the corner of his lips. "I should have known you'd hit it off like that!"

Hare smiled brightly and snuggled into Alice's shoulder, pressing him mouth teasingly to the skin, "You should," he agreed softly.

Hatter's smile vanished, "March, enough. You won't do any good by teasing our new _queen._"

Hare jerked back from Alice and looked down at her, "Queen?" he questioned.

Alice snorted, "It's a very long story."

--

The story was told over a sponge cake and more tea. Hare sat silently through the whole thing until it came to the part of Alice kissing Hatter, and the only thing he did was look sideways at Hatter, eyes narrowing slightly.

When Alice finished she took along sip of her lukewarm tea. "What do you think?" she questioned.

Hare was silent, he looked towards Hatter for a moment before he spoke, "I don't know what to think Alice, it seems to me like you've gotten yourself in over your head but there is no escaping this mess." He leaned back in his chair and looked up at the ceiling. "I wish I could be of more help, but I'm no king, I've never ruled and I don't even belong to wonderland, the laws that are held here are strange to me."

"What do you mean by that?" Alice questioned, resting her elbows on the table.

"I was born on the outer Islands, they are ruled by their own kings and queens. The laws of those islands are different from wonderland and I was never one for causing trouble so I never had to read up on all the laws, that and Hatter was always a favorite of the queen except in the later days. If I ever caused grief by being ignorant of the laws, Hatta' was always there to get me out of it. I've never studied law." He finished.

Alice almost rolled her yes, "Hare, can I be honest?" she asked. He nodded. "You could have summed that all up by saying 'I don't have a clue what's going on' it would have saved you a lot of wind."

Hatter snorted loudly and patted Hare's shoulder as a hurt look crossed over the younger ones face. "There, there," he said teasingly, "you did allow her to be honest."

Hare gave a nod of his head, "That I did, that I did. It's my own fault and I know better now!" he laughed loudly.

Alice picked her tea up and sipped it for a moment, "I had hoped that at least one of you would be able to help fix me." She admitted.

"You cannot fix what is not broken," said Hare, frowning deeply. "You are queen Alice, everything that must now take place has already taken place with thousands of rulers before you."

"That's not very comforting. None of this has happened to me, and I don't very much enjoy any of it!" Alice muttered, her shoulders slumping and her eyes threatening tears.

Hatter reached across the table and took Alice's hand in his own, "No more tears, Alice, I hate knowing that you cry because of us,"

"You take too much Credit, Hatter." Alice whispered, she lifted her head and looked up at him, a small smile curling over her lips. "I cry because I'm starting to understand something."

"And what are you understanding?" Hare questioned.

"That I can't go back. There's no regaining my old life, and I can only move forward with this life… whether I wish to or not."


	7. Chapter 7

**AN: Welcome back to Looking Glass. This time I give you a good, long chapter that I'm rather proud of. It took a bit of time to get this one ready. But now that it is, I'm happy. And this is the start of getting the plot really moving. I only wish I saw the end of this story. Most stories by this point I have the ending in sight... not so much for this one. But the other one was hard to write as well, so it's all good. **

**I'm also not commenting about the new Prez, lets just say he isn't the one I voted for. **

**On a happy note, Saturday I'm off to Islands of Adventure. My favorite park, my favorite place. Problem is... my sister (the one I always go with,) is knocked up, blah to that! **

**As always. If you spot the mistake, give me a heads up so it can be fixed!**

* * *

Chapter Seven.

"That is and always has been the truth, Alice." Hare answered. "You can't change what has already come to pass, you can only deal with what is to come."

Alice smiled despite her pain. "Isn't that what I just said?" she teased.

Hatter smiled and removed his hand, a careful look in his eyes. "What will you do now?" he questioned.

Alice reached under her shirt and drew the orb out for all to see. "I guess I should try and return to Cheshire and White, give them to news of what has happened. And of what little use it all was."

"It was not useless," Hare exclaimed, shocked that the teenager would say such a thing. "You've gained Hatter back to your side, and with him, you have gained myself. We both will do what we can from our places here, but we cannot abandon the queens service just yet, not without terrible grief and rage being tossed onto all she hates and hunts."

Alice thought about this for a moment, "You are right about all of that," she agreed, "If I hadn't come here than I would still fear meeting Hatter," she gave him a smile, "and I would question whether all my friends had left me. But I believe that there are still many things I need to do, many people I need to ask about and search for… I wonder how many will side with me and how many with this fake queen." She looked at Hatter, "have you any idea on the numbers?"

Hatter looked at her for a moment, "There are some who stand against the queen, or do not respect her for power but out of fear that she will send them to me. I'm sorry to say that she has many good creatures that will aid her, many where made by me." He lowered his head in shame, "There are also many that will come to her aid if she calls. Hare and I will do our best from our place here, and I believe Hare has many contacts left on the outer isles that will come to his aid and perhaps their kings and queens will stand with you. But the truth is, Alice, you are out numbered. Too long has this queen spread her fear through wonderland, many fear her wrath."

Alice nodded in understand, "I will do what I can, and I'm sure White already has some plan up his sleeves."

"The bite is deep, Alice." Hare suddenly said.

Alice blinked and looked at him oddly, "What bite do you speak of?" she questioned.

"The bite that has been given to your soul by both Hatter and Caterpillar. I see the wisdom of Caterpillar in your eyes, and the way you are speaking, it is very like our dear Hatter." Hare explained. "Your power is a frightening thing, but I am grateful that you take such a large hurt from it, change must happen if things are going to return to normal. I believe that with you as our queen… winter will never touch this land."

"You know what will happen if Winter falls in wonderland?" Alice questioned.

Hare gave a grave nod of his head, "I know what it is I believe, whether that is truth or my own mind… I don't know."

"I keep hearing these words in my head, perhaps you will understand what I cannot." Alice whispered. "The stream will cease to flow; the wind will cease to blow; the clouds will cease to fleet; the heart will cease to beat; for all things must die. All things must die. Spring will come never more. Death waits at the door. Laid low… very low, in the dark we must go. And the old must die. So let the warm winds rage, and blue waves beat the shore; forever and a morn, that, you will never see. Through until eternity, all things will come never more, for all things must die." Before she had finished her voice had faded until she fell silence. The words seemed to echo long after they were said.

"Those are powerful words," Hare said finally, he looked at Hatter with a fearful gaze in his eyes. "They sound very much like a spell, though I cannot be sure. Perhaps they are meant for you… or some you will meet along the way. I cannot yet tell. But I bid you to remember them, they may very well be useful later on."

Alice finally lifted her head and looked at Hare, "I wish that none of this had ever happened, I wish I was back at home, living a life that had no problems and no worries. I didn't have to think about my future, everything was planned out… I just wish none of this had happened," She trailed off, tears dripping down her cheeks.

"As do all who live to see such things," Hatter whispered, "But it is not for them to decided what course their lives will or will not take, all you can do, Alice, is decide what to do with what is given to you."

Alice thought about his words for a moment before nodding her head slowly, "Once again, Hatter, you are right and I am being foolish. There is no use longing for what I cannot have, or wishing I could go back to the life I once lived."

"There is no shame in wanting things to be how they were," Hare said, "But the only thing you can do in life is move forward, look back for a time, but don't stay lost in the what ifs. It eats your soul away when you live there too long." He reached out and laid his hand on top of hers, "You will make a very good queen when all is said and done, my dear Alice."

Alice nodded her head, she fingered the orb around her neck, "Do you know much about orbs?" she asked.

Hatter's lips turned upwards, "I know enough about them to know that the one in your hand was made from mirror dust, and I know it is powerful and risky." He finished with a grave look in his eyes.

"You are right, once again. Cheshire tells me that it was made using the dust from the first looking glasses of wonderland. They believe it will work well enough to take me near enough to them, so long as my thoughts don't go astray."

"Then keep your mind carefully," Hare stated, "There are many dark things on all of our minds as of right now and being swept up into their lands would be a fate worse than true death." He added.

Alice shivered and nodded her head, "again, I agree." She said. "But right now what I truly want is to see the others again and give them the news of what has taken place."

"I think your thoughts are too dark for you to want to use that Orb," Hare commented, "Stay the night and in the morning you can go back."

Alice hesitated but finally nodded his head, "I am tired," she admitted, "Probably has something to do with those lovely drugs Hatter uses,"

Hatter simply smiled.

--

After dinner and a little more talking, Alice was shown to a bedroom. The room had the flare of Hare's love of cold colors. The walls were a soft baby blue, the sheets an icy silver. When she laid down on the bed she found that the mattress was feathers, she sunk into it and fell into a deep sleep.

She woke in the middle of the night feeling like she hadn't had any rest. She lay there for a moment, dreams flashing before her eyes, finally she sat up and pushed the covers off of her legs. She felt slightly ill, the room was cool after the covers had been removed.

She sat there for a moment, listening, just listing to the sounds of the night that came in front the slightly open window. She heard the sound of wings in the darkness. She swung her legs over the edge of the bed, stood, and rushed to the window. She yanked the door open and stared out into the night, but there was no sign of bird or feather.

She stared into the night, the cool air whispering against her face. Her eyes closed and her shoulders sank. She didn't know whether she felt relieved at the idea that her mind had only been playing tricks on her, or if she felt more afraid.

"So says the raven," Alice whispered into the night air.

It was many hours before she was able to calm her beating heart and slip back into the darkness of her dreams.

--

The next morning Alice woke to the feeling of being rested, or as rested as she could feel. She swung her legs over the edge of the bed and slipped into the her clothes, which had been cleaned by Hare sometime during the night or early morning. They felt crisp against her skin and smelled faintly of some unnamable source of sweetness.

She pulled her boots back on to her feet, flinching as they rubbed painfully against the blisters that had built on her heels, and, strangely enough, the back of her legs. Apparently just wearing pants wasn't enough to protect ones legs from the rubbing of boots.

She walked into the hallway and followed her nose to the kitchen.

Hare stood at the wood stove, he wore a white apron over his clean blue shirt. He turned when Alice walked into the kitchen. "You aren't leaving until you've had something to eat!" he stated.

Alice's lips twitched and she walked over to see what he was cooking. "It smells wonderful, what is it?" she questioned, staring at the white paste like stuff.

"It's a mix of sugars, oat, and flour." Hare explained, "It may not sound all that good but it is, I think anyway. Hatta' happily tells me that I am mad for liking it and he will be eating dry bread for breakfast if he says anything about my choice!" he smiled brightly.

Alice couldn't help but think about how nice his smile was. But she was grateful to find that it was still just a smile, pretty, lovely even, but just a smile. "Hatter always has to pick at something, his day isn't complete until he has doing it."

"Your hair wants cutting, and your mouth wants stitching!" Hatter said from the doorway. "And I can keep my tongue far better than you, dear Alice."

Alice chuckled and made a zipping motion over her lips.

Hare chuckled as well, turned around and pretended to unzip Alice's lips. "I prefer your voice over his anyway!" he laughed.

Hatter raised an eyebrow towards the younger and shook his head with amusement. "I feel neglected," he said sourly.

"You weren't saying that yesterday," Hare mumbled under his breath.

Alice's eyes widened and for a moment she was sure she had misheard his words. But there was no denying what had been said, but she decided not to dwell on it to long.

Hatter's cheeks had reddened and he looked away from the brown haired man. Instead his eyes turned to Alice and he smiled softly, "March has packed you some supplies, to see you on your way." He explained. "Since that orb is so unstable and, truly, it is one of a kind, we have no way of knowing if it will take you where it should, we don't want you going without food and a change of clothing."

Alice hesitated, then throwing caution to the wind, she walked over to him and wrapped her arms around his shoulders.

Hatter leaned down to let her hug him properly, he closed his eyes and sighed. "Why do you do what you do to me?" he whispered. His voice was so soft that it was no secret that those words were for her and her alone.

"I don't mean to," Alice whispered in his ear, "If I could stop it I would, I know another has your heart."

"As another will have yours," Hatter said.

They drew away from one another and said nothing more of the matter.

If Hare was bothered by their strange and secret conversation, he said nothing. And wisely he kept the fact that his sharp ears had heard every word. He knew that for the rest of his days, Hatter would always have a secret love in his heart for Alice, whether for good or ill, it was unknown to the young man.

--

After the breakfast of strange white oatmeal, that was what it tasted like to Alice, she was fitted with a pack of leather that draped over the left shoulder, but rested on the right hip. It was comfortable and light.

Inside were a shirt, pants, two canteens fill to the brim with water, and some carefully wrapped pieces of bread.

"The bread is used by the mine workers," March explained as he took one out of the pack to show it to Alice. "It's design is to be filling, there are things inside it that expand when they are eaten, in effect it fills you up twice as fast as normal foods, but it is only temporary and has little to no nutrition. You could, in theory, survive up to two weeks on it alone, but without something else in your diet you'd begin to feel sick, the signs would come slowly, but you'd wither and die. I say to you now, if you find yourself lost anywhere and relying on the bread, don't trust it too deeply, hunt around for something, anything, else to eat with it!"

"March, you are a very comforting soul, aren't you." Hatter said dryly. He looked at Alice and sighed, "He is right though, the bread is just to ease you on your way to finding other food. The miners found out about its ill effects the hard way, I would hate to see my favorite queen fall the same way." He reached out and brushed her hair out of her face. It had grown a little and the bangs now fell into her face oddly. "Go safely, Alice, and trust that you have friends yet who will stand beside you. I hope there are many more that will show themselves in time. But trust your gut, not all of us are still friendly towards you."

Alice leaned into his touch for a moment and then she stepped away, "I know, I knew from the moment I saw the twins that they would not aid me. Though I must admit that I was fooled once, but not twice,"

"Never twice," Hatter said. He looked pained, as if letting Alice leave was laying heavy on his thoughts. He once again started to stretch out his hand to touch her, but quickly changed his mind and let his hand fall limply back to his side. "Until our next meeting…" he said sadly.

Alice stepped back from him and studied both him and Hare, "Until then," she replied. She reached up and grabbed a hold of the orb around her neck. The stone felt hot, as if knew that the moment of its use had now come. There was an eager feeling to it, an untamable power. For a moment Alice hesitated to use it.

But it was her only sure bet on arriving back to the village. She shut her eyes tightly and drew a picture of the village in her minds eye, but the picture wasn't clear. Finally she drew one image that she couldn't quite wipe from her mind. Caterpillar's image appeared clear as day in her mind, a strange sense of peace rushed over her, and she whispered. "By the gift granted from the skilled hands of the gods, I, Alice, request your guidance and permission to use the gift that was crafted by the hands that be. Guide me, Guard me, and see me safely." She squeezed the orb in her hand and felt it break.

The ground beneath her dropped away. She was falling and completely unable to stop it. The air around her grew hot and sticky. She wanted to cry out, to scream as a sensation of utter despair washed over her.

"Despair not," A voice whispered. "You are the guiding light."

The ground became solid and her knees gave way.

"Alice!"

Alice cracked an eye open and stared at Caterpillar. From the smells around her she could tell she was in the garden. She let herself slowly fall down into a sitting position and let herself breath deeply. The fresh air felt wonderful. "I'm back." She whispered.

Caterpillar knelt down and brushed the sweaty hair from her forehead, "I can see that for myself, dear Alice," he whispered. He leaned forward and kissed the space he had just cleared. "Are you well?"

"I feel like someone stuck me in an oven… no… I think it was more like a dryer, and than turned it on." She explained. Seeing the blank look on his face she started laughing. "It's a joke, though I must admit that I will not be traveling like that for a very long time."

"I should think not. That orb truly was one of a kind."

"And she returns. Better late than never!"

Alice looked at Cheshire and smiled slightly. "With the story I have to tell, I think you should be happy to have me back at all!"

--

It took well over an hour to tell the whole story, and when she reached the part of kissing Hatter, Cheshire shifted oddly and took a long drink of whatever it was he was drinking, all Alice knew of it was that it wasn't tea.

"So, it's a sign of your powers as queen," Caterpillar said softly. "Hearts powers were so different and cruel that I assumed it was anything but that." He smiled bitterly, "though I must admit that your way of bringing about our changes is much nicer and… pleasant."

Alice laughed at that, a joyful sound, "Pleasant?" she questioned, "I don't know whether to kiss you again or hit you!"

"Don't kiss him," Cheshire muttered.

Alice looked over at him, "Are you feeling jealous?" she questioned.

Cheshire pushed away from the table and stood quickly, "I have things that need doing. White needs to be informed of this and the fact that Hatter and Hare will aid us." He turned to leave.

"Cheshire!" Alice said, standing up herself. She followed him out of the room, where she caught his arm just before he reached the door to the outside. "What have I said to upset you? I only meant that as a joke!"

"Alice, I have better things to do than listen to a child try to explain herself," Cheshire said, turning his head to look at her, his lilac eyes flashing. "Now please release me."

Alice let her hand drop away from him, hurt written all over her face. "As you wish," she said softly. She turned and walked away from him. She was set that she wasn't going to let him see her cry, and for some strange reason she wanted to cry for him, wanted to cry because of him, and wanted to cry for herself because she knew she was walking away from him when she most needed him.

Cheshire stared after her for a moment, he closed his eyes tightly and then he turned away, his fingers closed around the knob, hesitated, then he spoke. "I'm sorry."

"So am I," Alice whispered in return.

They both walked away.

---

Alice changed her clothes, brushed her hair, and took a cool shower. She walked down the stairs in a loose fitting pair of cotton pants, and a shirt made out of some sort of silk. It feel over her chest, leaving nothing to the imagination, and not for the first time, Alice was grateful for her bra, which was still holding up nicely.

She walked into the kitchen and found White talking with Caterpillar. "Hello, White." She greeted.

"Alice," White greeted. He stood up and walked over to her.

Alice almost took a step back but before she had finished even thinking about the action, she was wrapped in a tight embrace. "I'm glad your safe," White whispered.

Alice flushed and tilted her head to look at the side of his head, "I'm fine," Alice whispered, feeling something strange wash over her. She wrapped her arms around him and shook her head in amusement. "White… I'm really ok."

White made no answer, he simply kissed her cheek softly and stepped away.

Alice realized with a jolt that he'd had to remove or lift the mask in order to kiss her, and it had been the first time she had ever felt his lips on any part of her body. Even before the thought had finished a flush crept up her cheeks. She shifted. She wasn't going to think about him like that. She already had two… maybe three men in her life that she wasn't sure about, she didn't need another.

She ignored the urge to lift his mask and kiss his lips. His face was something that she had never seen before. He never removed his mask.

Alice knew that he came from the outer isles, from a race of people who believed that the first person to see your face was the person who would forever be your soul mate. That is why from the age of puberty onwards, boys and girls of the island were forced to wear a mask based off of their chosen name.

It was not her place to be his chosen when she wasn't sure if it was her own emotions or her power that wanted those soft lips to be against her own. It would be a cruel fate for them both, for her to see his face, the first ever since his childhood playmates and his parents, whomever they may have been.

If White sensed her troubled thoughts, he gave no sign of it. He stepped away and there was a kind look in his eyes. A look that said that he respected her. Any attempt by Alice to change their relationship would only gain her the loss of his respect.

This fact caused Alice's emotions to check themselves. She breathed deeply and gave him a fleeting smile. "Has Caterpillar filled you in on everything?"

"More or less," White answered. "I'm pleased to know that Hatter and Hare will aid us when we need them most."

"As am I. And it is some comfort to know that the strangeness that has been going on around me is something that every queen must go through."

"For the most part." White chuckled. It was a rare thing, to hear the masked man give any signs of amusement.

Alice couldn't fight the smile that slid over her lips. It pleased some part of her, to hear him laugh.

"I wish very much that I could stay and hear this tale for your own lips, Alice, but I'm afraid that I have to leave at once."

"Why?" Alice asked.

"I am needed in the outer lands, I am working to muster some to your aid. If all goes well, the kingdom of the waste, and the king who rules it, will come to your aid when we call." White explained. "Does this please you?" he questioned.

Alice looked thoughtful, "Isn't that the same kingdom who waged war against Wonderland… twenty some odd years ago?"

"It is, but they did that only because Hearts struck the first blow by taking the youngest prince for her own. She 'Changed him'." White explained.

Through the whole exchange, Caterpillar had remained silent, watching they way that Alice and White interacted together. He could see the tension that had been wrought around the two of them, as if some invisible fishing line was trying to tug the two together. But both were unwilling to admit they even felt the lure.

It was strange for him to feel as he did toward Alice, a girl whom he had never held much fondness for. Now all he could see about her was the fact that she was young, she was beautiful, and he knew that she would make a fine queen someday, if she didn't get herself killed first.

But the other thing he saw, one that he wished he were able to ignore, was the fact that she was still a child. She was a child in all the ways that counted. There was a sense of pain about her, as if someone had tugged her heartstrings one to many times. But there was maturity as well. But mixed in with both of those fine emotions was the one that was more dangerous. Fear.

She was afraid of what was happening around her. Fear could make someone run away when they were needed most, and though Caterpillar didn't believe for one second that Alice would abandon them… there were others, others whose aid they needed, who didn't know what had taken place when Alice left the first time, they only saw that she had left Wonderland and after her leaving wonderland had taken a bad turn.

That turn was his fault. His own pride had refused to let him call Alice back. Beg for her return. Though he wondered if choosing her as a queen would have been the right choice at the time. She had been a child then, a true child.  
Children never made good choices, it was part of the growing up that turned them into a person who made a good or bad choice. But Wonderland didn't like growing up… it never had.

--

Later that same night, Alice was curled up fast asleep in a guest bedroom. Caterpillar had checked on her twice that night to make sure she was sleeping peacefully. Already he had had to calm her from the nightmares that seemed to haunt her dreams.  
The nightmares worried him. It seemed that wonderland was set on Alice not being allowed a moments rest. In waking hours and in sleep there seemed to be dark omens all around.

Caterpillar wished that he could gather Alice up in his arms and hold her until the trembling passed. But he knew that it wasn't his place. He had not been asked to her bed, he had not been asked to hold her until the rays of mornings first light peeked. No… he would never take that place in her life.

"You're still awake?" Cheshire asked as he entered the kitchen through the backdoor. He had a nasty gash over his left eye, which was swollen and closed, partly to keep the blood out of it, and partly because it hurt.

Caterpillar rose carefully and approached the injured man. "What have you been doing to cause such an injury?" he demanded.

Cheshire smiled despite the pain. "Wouldn't you like to know!" he laughed.

Caterpillar shook his head in amusement and took the younger man's arm. "Sit." He ordered as he steered him towards the table.

Cheshire sat heavily in one of the chairs, a sigh slipping from his lips. "Someday I'm just going to throw in the towel." He said darkly.

Caterpillar mumbled a brief and sharp reply as he dug around in the cupboard for some cleaning agents. He found them and gathered them up. He then grabbed the bandages from the counter. He set all of this on the table and sat in the chair next to Cheshire.

He poured some of the liquids into two tiny bowls, mixing them. He then took a small rag and dipped on corner into the first bowl. Not waiting for Cheshire to jerk away, he pressed the tip against the gash, which hissed and steamed a little.

Cheshire yelped and jerked back, "God damn it!" he cried, "Why didn't you warn me first!"

"You wouldn't have let me help you if I warned you." Caterpillar said calmly. "Now if you'll sit still I'll put the soother on it, it'll take the swelling down and give you the use of your eye back."

Cheshire tensed but leaned forward again, "Will it hurt?" he asked, his voice filled with a childish tone that was very unlike him.

Caterpillar hummed softly as he dipped the other end of the rag into a light blue liquid. He reached it out and pressed it to the same wound as before.

Cheshire flinched and gritted his teeth. It stung, though he doubted anything could hurt as bad as the first liquid had.

When he'd finished dabbing the wound, Caterpillar patted it dry and then placed a small bandage over it. He then repeated this with the other cuts and scrapes, though he had to convince Cheshire that it was for his own good.

When they were finished, Cheshire leaned back in the chair and whimpered pathetically. "I'm never trusting you again," he mumbled.

"Cheshire, don't be a baby." Caterpillar said, rounding on him. He pointed a wooden spoon at the younger and shook his head. "You've been treated for enough wounds to know there is no way to make it not hurt."

"That's a lie," Alice said from the doorway.

Cheshire jumped and looked at her, "I thought you were sleeping." He commented.

"I was until someone started crying." She teased.

"I was not crying!" Cheshire said angrily.

"I'm sure you weren't, oh brave warrior!" Alice laughed. She walked over and took his left hand in her own, his hand had a bandage on it. "Sword slip passed the guard I take it?" she questioned.

Cheshire nodded, "A rookie mistake." He muttered.

Alice brought his hand up to her mouth and kissed his fingertips, "Feel better?" she asked when she let his hand fall back into his lap.

Cheshire swallowed hard and nodded, "Much." He answered. Though he had to wonder what Alice was thinking, her eyes looked to thoughtful.

For Alice's part, she was wondering why she had just done something like that with Cheshire of all people. Even she could see that it was a romantic gesture, and one that shouldn't be used on someone she didn't feel towards. Not that she didn't feel something towards Cheshire, she was just in denial about that.

Caterpillar watched the exchange and sighed. It was as if everyone but him was shown or allowed a bit of love from Alice. He finished mixing the potion and brought it over to the table. "Drink this, it'll cut the healing time in half." He explained, setting a mug in front of Cheshire.

Cheshire took the mug, and with complete trust, he downed it as fast as he could. When he was finished he set the mug down and wiped his mouth. "Thank you," he said to Caterpillar, "You may be cruel and twisted, but you are a good friend to me."

Caterpillar beamed despite his bitter mood. "I thank you for saying that, Cheshire. It is very nice to know I am needed and loved." He gave a sideways glance towards Alice.

Alice caught the remark and felt confused. Hadn't she shown in how much she cared for him? Or did he not understand how confused her heart was about him. She sighed aloud.

Cheshire stood up suddenly, "Well, I think I'll go to bed now." He looked toward Caterpillar, "do you mind if I use the third guest bedroom?"

"Not at all," Caterpillar answered.

"Many thanks," Cheshire walked down through the doorway and disappeared down the hall.

Alice and Caterpillar sat in a tensed silence for a couple minutes.

"What did you mean by that?" Alice questioned after the silence had stretched on long enough.

"Mean by what?" Caterpillar questioned, bring the mug and pot over to the sink.

"By saying 'it's nice to know I'm loved,'" Alice stated, she stood up and walked over to his side, "are you trying to tell me something?"

"I don't know Alice, what do you think?" Caterpillar said sharply.

"I think you should speak plainly, I'm no mind reader."

"Fine," Caterpillar let the pan drop loudly into the sink. "I feel like you are avoiding me. Am I that disgusting that you wish to have no contact with me?" he shouted.

Alice took a step back. She stared at him in surprise. "I would never think that!" she exclaimed, "how could you think that!"

"I was given no reason to think otherwise. You have barely spoken to me since you came back…" Caterpillar trailed off. "I have to watch you make eyes at everyone but me…" he closed his own eyes.

Alice reached out and touched his arm, afraid of the touch, as if she might be shocked by it. But as her fingers pressed against the soft fabric of his long sleeved shirt, it was just a gentle touch. The fabric felt softer than it should have. She closed her eyes and smiled. "I'm sorry," she whispered. She dropped to her knees and let her head rest against his thigh. "I'm sorry, I didn't even notice."

Caterpillar swallowed hard and let his fingers brush through her hair, "You mind has been elsewhere, I know that." He admitted. "I'm just selfish enough to want some of you for myself."

"It's not selfish at all," said Alice, looking up at him with a mixture of surprise and love. She realized that some part of her was completely gone on him, in that goofy first love type of way. It wasn't true love, or rather, it wasn't the type of love that means forever. It was puppy love, that urge to touch and be touched. A feeling of being insanely pleased by every smile and kind word. The feeling of his fingers lacing through her hair brought her back to his touch and made her lift her head to look up at him. She smiled a big smile. "I think I love you," she admitted.

Caterpillar's eyes widened and a big smile of his own spread over his lips. "But not really," he said calmly. "I know that I'm not the one who really has your heart. All of it."

Alice cocked her head slightly to the left, "What does that mean?" she questioned.

"The day you can answer that question for yourself is the day you'll know what I mean." Caterpillar said, he nudged gently away from her. "I think it's time we get ourselves to bed. White is hosting a meeting with some of the generals tomorrow. We need our queen at her best." He smiled.

Alice stood up, put both hands on either arm of the chair, and leaned forward. She pressed a soft kiss to his mouth.

Caterpillar smiled into the kiss and wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her towards him.

Alice put her legs on either side of his and when the kiss broke she rested her head against his chest, she smiled softly.

--

The next morning Alice woke in her bed, feeling rested and strangely cheerful. The talk and brief cuddle with Caterpillar had refreshed her in some strange way. A weight she hadn't known was there had been lifted and she could finally think clearly.

She knew she loved Caterpillar. She loved Hatter. And some strange sense of love was blooming between her and White, not to mention the tension that was building between her and Cheshire. But she was still in denial about that.

She washed and dressed in clean clothes. Some how White seemed to have a supply of women's dress clothes and had dragged up a very nice green dress. Alice paired it with black leggings that belonged to one of the boys, she hadn't asked which. Her hair, which hadn't grown much, was held out of her face by a red ribbon she'd snagged from the mending kit that Caterpillar had sitting in his sitting room. She studied her appearance and couldn't help but snicker at the fact that the red and green reminded her of Christmas colors.

She froze in mid chuckle. Christmas… she'd been here for a couple months now… back home it was probably nearing Christmas. How would her father be handling everything…? Perhaps he was relieved that he no longer had to deal with his melodramatic daughter. Or perhaps he was sitting at home, staring with teary eyes at a bright Christmas tree that had been decorated by hands other than Alice's.

She felt the tears prickle in the corners of her eyes but she refused to let them fall. There was no going back to her old life, this was the only life she had now and she'd be damned if she mourned for the old one.

She walked down the stairs and headed out onto the back porch. The smell of the flowers hit her with a pleasant jolt. She smiled and walked over to the rail, where she rested her forearms. She stared out at the ever growing garden. The bright colors looked so beautiful, even though just pass the fence line the trees were fading. The few which still held onto the their leaves were colored in fall. The reds and browns, a couple were orange, looked lovely, if only Alice believed that the leaves would return in the spring.

The dark thoughts that haunted her dreams told her otherwise, she knew that winter would be the end of wonderland.

The air was chilled; and the sky overhead was filled with cotton clouds, fluffy and white. They rolled across the sky, shaped in many different designs.

Alice tilted her head up and looked at them, the feeling of the wind tickling along her skin reminded her of the fall outings with her family.

Why were her thoughts going back to her family? she didn't want to think about them right now, she couldn't afford to think about them.

She closed her eyes, breathed deeply through her nose, and finally she opened them and turned around. Cheshire was leaning against the doorway, watching her with the strangest of looks in his eyes.

"Are you ok?" he asked.

Alice stared at him for a moment. Of all the questions he could have asked, he'd go and ask that one. She swallowed hard. She was supposed to be queen, wasn't she? She wasn't allowed to break down on them.

Cheshire sighed loudly and stepped forward. He walked to her and wrapped his arms around her, drawing her close to his chest. "Don't worry," he whispered, "don't worry."

--

Alice felt worlds better after she'd eaten breakfast. She guessed that at some point during the prep time Cheshire had shared the early morning problems Alice had dealt with.

There was a tense feeling in the air, a sense of both promise and sorrow. It was the same feeling that came with the first breath of spring. You wondered whether winter would truly end, or if it would linger on.

"Tea?" Caterpillar finally spoke. He looked at her with his chocolate colored eyes, a searching gaze in them that left Alice feeling like he was seeing something inside her that she didn't want seen. As if just from the brief kiss they'd shared last night, he knew her better than she knew herself.

It was a very discerning feeling.

"No thanking…" Alice answered.

The silence thickened again.

"Caterpillar," Cheshire suddenly chimed in, leaning his elbows on the table. "Did White talk to you yet?"

"About the treaty?"

Cheshire nodded.

"We've spoken a little, I wonder about their demands though. It may have a lasting effect." Caterpillar stated, taking a bite out of some toast.

Alice cocked her head to the side, "Treaty?"

"With Isis Island," Cheshire said, turning to look at Alice. "It's a –"

"Island off the cost of the Lost Woods, it's ruled by the Spades." Alice finished. "They tried to wage war last time I was here, why would they change?"

"That haven't. They simply believe they're going to get something out of all this." Caterpillar said. "They've asked to be allowed back into the courts good graces when we've overturned the false queen."

"You think that a good idea?"

"Not at all," Both Caterpillar and Cheshire said at once, "But we don't have a choice." Caterpillar added. "They have a large army that would help us greatly."

Alice nodded. "Would Gryphon be any help in this?" she asked softly, "He was always good at battle plans."

"…" Cheshire breathed out sharply and looked toward Caterpillar, shock in his eyes. He opened his mouth again.

"Gryphon is missing," Caterpillar said. "Has been so since the queen rose to power."

"Do you think…" Alice trailed off.

"We try not to think about him too much. It is all together too painful." Cheshire whispered. He wouldn't meet her eyes. It was almost as if he were afraid of what she might see in his gaze.

Alice was silent for a moment, then with a sigh she felt her head fall back against the back of the chair. "Why does everything change?" she asked. "I feel like I'm looking at a world I used to know, but someone's begun to paint over the old colors. I wish at least one thing was still normal enough."

"The Duchess's personality, is that not still the same?" Caterpillar commented dryly, a smirk sliding over his lips.

Alice sat straight again and stared at him for a long while, slowly a smile formed over her lips and she began to laugh softly at first, and then louder and louder. She laughed until tears trailed down her cheeks. But these were happy tears, the first time she'd had a reason to cry for happiness.

Caterpillar beamed and leaned his elbows on the table, "I'm glad I can make you laugh like that, Alice." He said after she'd stopped laughing. "I was afraid that I would only see the serious side of you, and that would be a great loss indeed."

"Would it?" Alice questioned, cocking her head. "I thought you wanted me to be queen."

"There are many different kinds of queens' Alice," White said from the doorway.

Alice turned around in her seat to look at him. "And what type am I?"

"You're ours." He answered.

Alice smiled, a flush creeping over her cheeks. "I like the sound of that."

"I'm glad." White answered.

--

"Absolutely not!" White said, crossing his arms against his chest. From beneath his mask his eyes flashed. "You cannot go with me!"

"Why not?" Alice demanded. She stepped forward until she had completely invaded his personal space.

White stepped back, annoyed. "Alice, no one knows that you are the queen, accept that and move on. We don't want the queen knowing until we have everyone on our side!"

"Are you ashamed to have me as queen? Am I only going to be used as a figure-head for you after all the fighting as been done?" Alice questioned, lowering her head until her hair fell over her face. It was a trick she'd learned from her older sister, and it had always worked on her father or any other male family member. "I want to be useful, White, I don't want to be forced to sit back and watched the people I love die all around me... please let me help."

White swallowed hard, cursed himself and his weakness for this girl. "Fine, but you must keep yourself quiet!" he snapped.

Alice smiled brightly. She hadn't believed, really believed, that White would allow her to out to the outer islands with him. And on a trip to the same island that Mock came from… it was a treat that she couldn't wait for... or maybe she could.


	8. Chapter 8

**AN: Shorter than most, but most loved of all my darling little chapters. The next Chapter had to take it's own stand because it's so important to the character building I need to do. **

**This chapter is full of surprises, some that snuck up on me while writing! I didn't mean for it to happen, but Cheshire's grown into his own skin and won a battle that I didn't think he'd win. **

**Read and Review. Thanks!**

**Hearts**

**----**

**Chapter Eight**

**----**

Once again, Alice found herself sitting in the back of something rickety. But in this case, the rickety thing was a boat. The boat was a good size, that was the only good point about the thing. The bad things were that it wasn't big enough to not be tossed this way and that by the huge waves of the ocean. And then there was the fact that it was made out of wood, was hand made, and felt like it might just shatter come the next wave.

She was soaked through with sea-spray, and her clothes and hair clung against her skin, making her feel like a cat who'd just been dumped into a bath of foamy water. She kept rubbing her eyes, which ached from the amount of water that had been sprayed into them, and she knew she wasn't doing them any good, since her skin was also covered in a good amount of dried sea-spray, which also made her feel sticky.

Cheshire sat beside her wearing a leather jacket that buttoned up to his throat. He glanced at her with amusement sparkling in his eyes. "I don't want to say I told you so, but I told you so." He said, referring to the fact that he had offered her one of the leather jackets that he and White owned, but Alice had been foolish enough to think that she would be fine. She'd gone fishing with her father, once upon a time, but that had been years ago and the waves hadn't been nearly as bad as these ones.

"Oh, be quiet," Alice mumbled. She was starting to shiver as the boat picked up speed, slashing more and more water into the air as it cut through the waves.

Cheshire shook his head and wrapped his arm around her, drawing her close to his side. "You are impossible. Will you at least listen to me next time?" he breathed into her ear.

Alice smiled and nodded. She leaned into his warmth, even though the leather felt a little slimy with how much water had been splashed onto it. she tried to doze again, she'd managed to get a couple hours of sleep before they'd started hitting the waves, but now she didn't think she'd ever be able to sleep with how cold she felt. And she wasn't sure sleep was a good idea anyway.

The rocking of the boat made her stomach drop out a couple times, but she was grateful to say that she'd only gotten sick once on the boat, much to Cheshire and the crewmen's laughter.

White was up near the captain, watching them near Isis Island. The place where Mock had dwelled before he'd come to wonderland. Though he'd dwelt as a part of the wildlife, not the native peoples.

Isis Island was named after the Goddess that they worshiped. They peoples of the island were broken up into two major groups. Those who continued the worship of Isis, and those who didn't. The Spade family, a former group of royals, were of the later group.

They'd been banished from the shores of wonderland after they'd nearly destroyed the palace of Hearts, which was the palace where all Queens' dwelled while in wonderland. It was a tall, black stone castle that could be seen from a hundred miles on all sides. It was surrounded by thick crystal walls which had been enchanted by the first magic users. There were seven towers on the walls, and each tower had windows that looked every way possible. On the castle itself were another, even taller, set of towers which stood like beacons in the night skies.  
Each of these towers housed the secrets of wonderland, things that had either been locked away or had been put away and forgotten. History, more history than any peice of wonderland could boast.

Alice had only ever seen the towers from afar. She'd never stepped inside the gleaming walls, and she'd never imagined that someday she would be the queen who would walk those stone hallways, that it would be her footsteps that echoed down long forgotten paths. Corridors covered in thick layers of dust.

And there was the Mirror Tower. The tower which housed the oldest mirrors of wonderland, created by The First.

Only the true queen could unlock the door. And from what she'd heard, this fake queen hadn't been able to opened that doorway. Which was some comfort. If the Fake queen had been able to get the tower to open for her than she would, in theory, be able to see everything that went on in wonderland, track anyone, and hunt people from the safety of her castle.

It wasn't a comforting thought for anyone.

That was where White's clever plain came into play. The closest point of life to the tower was Isis Island. The tower was less than half an hour by boat, and even less by air. But until they were allowed to station people on the island, it was still a useless idea.

The idea that they might take back the castle by force. That somehow they might surprise the guards and chase the queen from her throne. They all knew it was foolish, only foolish. But somehow, no matter how foolish the thought was, there were some how wanted to try it.

Alice felt her heart speed up at the thought. How large a victory it would be if they took the castle from the queen. It wouldn't truly destroy the queen, but it would injure her greatly. There was always more castles for her to dwell it. But this castle housed all those pieces of history. Piece that Alice would be able to awaken into the use of those who agreed to serve her.

But even with all these promises, there was something inside Alice that knew this plan was dangerous. Lives would be lost. And she could only sit back and wait to see who. She prayed it was none of her own who'd die.

Isis Island came into sight. A large rocky shape rising out of the sea, as if a rock and been thrown and quickly forgotten. The island had little natural growth on it. most of what grew there was coral, and the peoples survived on that and the amount of fish life that lived in the underwater caves.

The fact that most of the rocks were covered in coral made the island sparkle in the morning sunlight. Colors of reds, greens, and colors that had no name yet in Alice's mind, shimmered in the sunlight. She wondered if the island had gem stones. It seemed like it should.

Cheshire let his arm fall away from her, he rose gently and went to help with the ropes that needed to be tied down.

Alice watched the activity and, not for the first time, she felt useless. Wonderland, for all the magic it had, still believed women had a place, and helping tie down a boat wasn't one of the places they were useful.

"If you could see the look on your face," White said from behind her.

Alice turned and looked at him, "What would it say to me?" she asked.

"It would say something very sad."

"Or angry." Alice replied.

"What are you angry about?"

"The fact that women can rule wonderland, but when it comes to doing something even remotely helpful, we're told to sit down and be quiet. To keep our place." Alice rose and gave White a hard look, "it's not fair."

"Very little is ever fair in life, Alice." White commented sharply. "But we have to live with it. I'm not allowed to aid them either, so you shouldn't feel singled out."

"Why aren't you allowed?" Alice asked.

In answer, White reached up and tapped his mask, "They don't trust me." He answered. "A man who wont show his face isn't to be trusted. A seaman's oath is to show their face." he explained.

Alice thought about this for a moment, "but everyone has their own strange thing that they'd never speak of, isn't that seen as a breaking of the trust?" she asked.

"It could be, but the idea of hiding ones face is enough that the person behind the mask is never trusted."

"Than why wear it at all?" Alice finally asked.

White was silent for a moment, "I wear it for a reason Alice, and it has very little to do with the Island I grew up on and everything to do with who I am as a person."

"Strange choice of words." Alice replied.

"Someday I think you'll understand, but I only hope you'll forgive me." He whispered the end of his sentence so softly that Alice was unable to catch but the end of 'forgive me'. Before she could ask him to repeat it, Cheshire called out to them both.

"All ashore!"

--

The rocks were slippery, Alice's boots slid and slipped along the rocks, it got to the point that she was clinging to White's arm. Doing her best not to bust her head upon on one of the rocks that jutted from the ground in sharp points.

Cheshire walked with ease, the same as White, and Alice felt very jealous of her boys.

She wasn't sure when that had happened, that she'd begun to think of them as hers. But that was what they were now. They belonged to her in some strange sense, and she would do her utmost to keep them safe and sound. If it were at all possible. And if they would let her protect them.

That was the problem with these men. They didn't like being protected. And even though she knew all this, she couldn't help but want to protect them all the more. She loved them both, though it confused her heart more than she liked. She didn't know what to do with the number of men who seemed to be digging their place into her heart.

It was more and more confusing. She wanted to take a step back from them and figure out her own heart. But there just didn't seem to be enough hours in the day for her to do something like that.

"And there," White said softly, letting go of Alice's arm. "Safe and sound."

The rocks under their feet were paved in a soft stone, the stone wasn't slippery. In fact it was rather nice. It was made out of a green gemstone that Alice had no name for. "This stone," she finally asked, "What is it?"

"Hmmm?" Cheshire said, cocking his head, "It's the stone of the Goddess, or so that's what the islanders call it. Can't give you the wonderland name of it because we don't have stones like this in wonderland. Crystals by the thousands, but stones… not so much." He smiled.

Alice felt a goofy smile moving over her own lips, almost on it's on accord. Maybe she was in love with these two, because they sure did make her smile a lot.

Suddenly she stopped and frowned. Why was she thinking about love when she was supposed to be thinking about the battle that was soon to come?

"Cheshire," Alice said, "I think there's something wrong with me." She said.

Cheshire looked at her, "What do you mean?"

"I keep forgetting the reason why we came here." She answered, "I keep wanted to go off and do something else, even though I know why I'm here, it just doesn't seem important."

Before either Cheshire or White could answer her, there came the sound of rushing wings. Alice was suddenly reminded of the sound she had heard outside her window while staying with Hatter. A shadow grew on the ground above them.

"Cheshire, get her out of here!" White screamed, drawing the sword which dangled from his belt.

Cheshire jerked Alice against his chest. He reached with his free hand up to his neck and drew out the cord that was attached to a sparkling orb.

"By grace and power I ask thee, take me to the hidden door!" Cheshire screamed. He squeezed his hand and the world around Alice sank away.

--

She was falling, and then suddenly she wasn't. Alice forced her eyes open and stared at the sky above her. She blinked a couple times and looked over at Cheshire. Slowly she reached out poked his chest. Her heart was pounding so loud in her ears that she thought she'd gone deaf to the sounds outside her own body.

"Ugh," Cheshire finally managed. He blinked his eyes open and sat up, instantly his hand shot to his shoulder, which was gushing blood. "Shit!" he started to fall back to the ground.

Alice's eyes widened and horror dawned over her. Later, she would realize the reason she hadn't noticed it before was because her brain had wanted to protect her. Cheshire's arm, from the shoulder down, was simply gone, as if it had been ripped away. Things hung from the wound that no eye was meant to see.

Alice quickly ripped her loose jacket off of her and pressed it against the wound. "Hang on!" she cried, "Caterpillar gave me some healing things." She left Cheshire to keep the jacket pressed against the wound, and began to dig through the pack that rested against her hip. Her gift from Hatter. She drew out a couple bottles, three bowls, a bunch of bandage strips.

"What do I do?" Alice questioned, eyes showing a little too much white.

Cheshire was breathing hard, his teeth gritted together to keep from screaming. "The brown… bottle first." He hissed. His chest heaving up and down.

Alice poured the liquid from the brown bottle into one of the bowls, she used the set of sponges that had also been packed into the bowls. She soaked up as much liquid as the sponge would hold, and pressed it against the wound after Cheshire had removed the bloodied shirt.

At once there was a hissing sound and a horrible smelling steam issued from the wound. Cheshire scream loudly. His eyes widened at he stopped breathing for a moment.

Alice looked at him, "Don't you dare pass out on me!" she snapped, "I don't know what the fuck I'm doing here!"

That seemed to do the trick, with tears pouring down his cheeks and his chest heaving, Cheshire blinked a couple times. "The blue and then green," he sobbed, "bandage it after."

Alice nodded and did as she was told. Both liquids were clear, but the one from the blue bottle steamed against the wound, the same as the first, and the pain that is caused seemed great enough that Cheshire finally passed out. He lay still on the ground, breathing shallowly.

Alice felt afraid at being left to the task by herself, but she followed list she'd been given and applied the green liquid last. When the sponge was removed from the wound, Alice could already see the skin stitching itself back together. She shifted his body carefully and began wrapping the healing wound in the bandages.

It took a lot of work because Cheshire was heavier than Alice, and moving him around to wrap the bandage took a lot of work for the teenager. Finally, she'd finished her tasks and was able to sit back and breath.

But the moment she didn't have a task to complete, reality settled in. She started crying, staring at the blood that covered her hand. "God…" she sobbed. She'd almost lost him. She slowly reached out and grabbed one of the water bags from Cheshire's hip. She used it to clean her hands.

She stowed the medicine in her pack again, and wiped at her wet cheeks. When she looked around she could see that they were in a thick wooded area. The trees here weren't bare yet, their leaves were in fact a soft golden color.

"Twilight woods," Alice said, answering her own unasked question. She was in the Twilight woods. The place that had once housed the races of elves and faeries, but that race had vanished long before Alice had even been born.

She sat there in the glow of the golden sun above, and cried. Her hands covering her face, her shoulders shaking with sobs. It was many long hours before she was able to calm herself enough to stop.

Alice watched Cheshire's sleeping form. His shirt wasn't so much tore as simply gone. It was as if someone had taken a hot wire and ran it from the shoulder down part of the chest. It was a horrible sight, and it left Alice with many unanswered questions. Why was his skin ripped and shredded, looking like someone or something had pulled it away leaving the skin jagged and angry.

She could see that blood had soaked into the bandage, the first liquid had stopped most of the bleeding, but not enough.

An hour passed before Cheshire woke. But when he did wake, he woke up screaming in pain.

Alice wished she could do something, anything to make the pain go away, but she couldn't. "Cheshire?" she said, leaning over him. "Cheshire!" she slapped his face when he continued to scream.

Cheshire stopped screaming, his chest heaved up and down for a couple seconds, "I…" he fumbled for words, "Pain… hurts!" he broke down again.

Alice tried to think of something, anything that she might be able to do to make the pain leave him, make it less. But there was nothing. She… then it hit her. there was one skill that she had, but she'd never tried to make it work, it always did it on its own.

She hesitated a fraction of a second before she lowered her mouth to Cheshire's, and she prayed with everything she had that this would work.

The sensation was immediate, a wash of emotions that had turned into flavors for Alice to pick and chose from. The first and strongest flavor that she could pick up was the flavor of pain. It tasted like something hot and spicy, like a pepper, savory, and burning. She drew as much of his pain into her body as she could take, and then she began to search for a different flavor.

It took a moment before another flavor rose out of the roar of the others. This was a soft flavor, like something dainty and light. It was like sugar, but very fine, powered? Alice didn't know what it was, but it was sweet and she savored it on her tongue. Love. That was the emotion behind it. The soft beginnings of true love.

Alice almost drew back when she felt that. That was what this change would mean to them both. They would be in love, forever. Trapped in the truth of their feelings for one another. Love.

Did she mind being trapped with him? would she feel the same way she felt about being trapped in wonderland, would she feel like a caged bird every time, every moment, she was wrapped in his arms? No. Never. She wanted to be caged in this sweet flavor of love.

She drank it down into herself, and then, carefully, she searched through her own emotions before finding what she needed.

To her, the emotion tasted like hot chocolate. Rich, milky, creamy hot chocolate, the kind the warms the body after a day out in the snow. It was hot, and fierce, but wholesome as well. Maybe not healthy, but good while it lasted.

The emotion was the strength that had been building while in wonderland. The strength needed to take that next step. Would she mind loosing this emotion to Cheshire… no. She knew that the love she felt from Cheshire would build, it would be her strength and will to carry on. She would see wonderland safely through the promised winter. And he would be strong enough to carry her should she ever falter in her steps as queen.

She took the flavor of hot chocolate and passed it from her to Cheshire. She didn't know if it would work, she hoped it would. Suddenly Cheshire arched up against her, his one good arm wrapping around her lower back, pulling her over him.

Her legs rested on either side of his body as the kiss deepened. Even when the rushing of flavors and emotions faded, they stayed with their mouths locked together, enjoying one another as if it were the first time either of them had ever tasted another person.

Finally it broke.

Alice sat a little straighter, her hands carefully resting on Cheshire's chest. He looked up at her with his half-lidded eyes, the lilac of them standing out. Inside his eyes was what looked like flowers blooming. Shimmering as if it were a promise.

"Truth…" Alice whispered.

Cheshire cocked his head to the side and smiled, "Am I your truth?" he asked.

"I see truth and promise when I look into your eyes." She said, referring to the fact that there was spring reflecting in his eyes, and her own image mixed in.

"And you are mine." Cheshire answered softly. "Only mine."

Alice liked the sound of that.

--

Alice gave Cheshire the extra shirt from her pack. He slipped it on his good arm and let Alice do the buttons up. She tied the dangling sleeve.

"How… did that happen?" Alice finally asked.

Cheshire seemed to think it over for a moment. "It grabbed a hold of me before I could fully break the orb." He answered.

"What did?"

"The Queen's Raven." Cheshire said, eyes growing dark.

"Cheshire, bare with me when I say that I have no idea what you're talking about. I wasn't here the first years, I don't know what the Queen's Raven is." Alice said gently.

Cheshire sighed, "The Raven is the name we've given to her right hand man… a masked man whose name is unknown…" he trailed off.

Alice hesitated. "It's Gryphon… isn't it." it was a statement.

"I don't want to believe that he would betray us like that but it does seem likely." Cheshire agreed.

"So how did your arm… vanish?"

"It can't be in two places at once." Cheshire replied. "And The Raven couldn't grip me enough to go with us. But this place is no longer safe, he took the arm holding the orb, and he heard the words I used to bring us here. We need to go." He pushed himself to his feet, stumbling.

Alice pressed her hands against his back, balancing him. "We need to go to Hatter." She stated.

"Why?"

"He can fix your arm, the same way he did Dormouse's!" She felt proud of herself for remembering Hatter.

Cheshire hesitated. "It'll be risky. Hatter's dwelling is on the Mountain of Loss, it's in the Queen's heartland. None of us will risk going there for fear of her mirrors finding us." He hesitated. "Do you think it's wise, my queen?"

Alice hesitated herself. "Yes. I do." She answered. "But only if my _King _agrees with the plan should we do it."

Cheshire looked surprised, "Don't call me your King Alice, we don't yet know how the fates will weave. So please. No title until we've looked into the mirrors."

Alice nodded. "So be it."

Cheshire started to reach into his shirt and than cursed, "I only have a shatter orb on me. It's a one way trip."

"We'll work the rest of it out once we get there. If the fates will it, we'll travel safely on one orb." Alice wrapped her arms around his neck and pressed a kiss to his mouth. "Don't worry."

Cheshire smiled, he wrapped his good arm around her and closed his eyes. His forehead resting against hers. "You remind me of someone, I can't name it though."

"Maybe we knew each other in another life." Alice replied.

"Maybe." Cheshire stepped back and handed the final orb to Alice, it had dangled on a second necklace. "I don't trust my thoughts, and I don't know what Hatter's home looks like."

"I don't want to go there, but Hare's house is a pleasant place."

"If the fates will it."

"So shall it be."

Alice took the orb, it felt hot in her fingers. Eager to get going. She wrapped on arm around Cheshire, and he did the same to her. "Be what grace has given me I ask for guidance and strength. May the winds move me to where my hearts eyes do see. May the Goddess guide me, and the God hold me. I, Alice, ask to travel to the place in my minds eye. Hold me and mine with safe arms." She broke the orb.

The world swam in a ocean of colors. The ground fell away and Alice thought she was being squeezed through a tiny bit of space. The feeling of Cheshire swaying next to her was a comfort. She relaxed and trusted things to do as they would.

--

"Hare!" Alice cried when they slammed down on the garden path. Cheshire lay gasping beside her.

Hare stepped out the front door, wiping his hands on the white apron. The amused smile on his face faded when he saw Cheshire's missing limb.

Instantly he was there, helping the younger man stand and make his way into the house.

"Did you treat it?" He asked when Alice entered the room.

"Yes, though I don't know what I used. Caterpillar packed it and Cheshire told me in what order they should be used. The wound was healing when I bandaged it."

"That's some small relief." Hare sighed, he unbuttoned the shirt and began to cut away the bandages. "I've sent a call to Hatter, he'll be here to look it over soon."

Cheshire looked at Hare for a moment, "Thank you." He whispered.

"Don't thank me. You're in for a world of hurt, my friend," but he smiled all the same. He reached up and brushed some hair away from Cheshire's shoulder. Cheshire had a good three inches on him.

Alice sat in a chair near the far corner of the room. She had no urge to look at the wound again. It hurt a part of her to know that Cheshire was hurt. And now that she knew he was hers… it hurt even worse if that made any sense.

A half hour passed before Hatter came through the door, looking tired, as if he'd sprinted down all the steps. "It better be important… Hello Alice." He greeted. His eyes instantly went to her and then they went to Cheshire. He flinched. "What on earth did you do to yourself Cat?" he questioned.

Cheshire rolled his eyes. "I was using an orb and The Raven grabbed my arm." he smiled, showing teeth. "I'm going to skin that bird when I get my hands on him."

"Hand. You're down to one." Hatter answered. He shooed Hare away and began to examine the wound. "Good… Nice… still time…" he mumbled over the course of running his fingers across the almost healed skin. "We've lucked out on the fact that it hasn't healed over yet. I can still work on it without too much pain for you." He looked towards Alice. "Was this your handy work?"

"I did what I could, I really didn't know what I was doing." Alice said, shrugging.

"You did well, if it had been Caterpillar this wound would be healed completely and adding the robotics to it would cause our dear Cat a lot of pain." Hatter looked at Cheshire, "you do want me to replace your arm, don't you?"

"Of course!" Cheshire said, "It's my sword arm I've lost!"

"No need to shout." Hatter said dryly. He rose. "I have a operating room down the hall. Let me set things up and we'll get started. March, if you don't mind would."

Hare stood, brushed his fingers through Alice's hair, and started after the taller man.

Alice looked at Cheshire when they were alone. "This is what you want to do… isn't it?"

Cheshire nodded. "I want my arm back Alice." He replied.

Alice nodded. "I understand."

--

Half an hour later, and Alice watched Cheshire be lead away by Hatter.

"You should rest a while," Hare said. "But we have another guest as well…" he hesitated.

Alice rose and walked into the sitting room.

"Hello, Alice." Hearts greeted.

----

**EN: Is there where the evil laughter is supposed to be cued? Lol. Anyway, there you have it, Alice's heart has finally be one by one guy. Not to say that there aren't more who need winning.  
I didn't mean for Cheshire to stand as Alice's Truth (A word which means, that in your truth's eyes you see yourself for who you are.) But He wanted that role and I gave in. **

**So, Hearts… You're about to see a side to her that I was surprise to discover. Hearts, to me, is very one sided. But She wants to stand and explain her second half of the story. A bit about why she did what she did. I really like her character. She's bitter but only because people made her that way. You'll also find out who HER Truth is. Heh, it's a major surprise that I bet you can't guess (If you do guess I'll credit you in the next chapter.) **

**Peace out!**

**Hearts.**


	9. Chapter 9

**AN: I seem to be giving you guys shorter chapters, but they're updated faster aren't they? And they're cut like this because it's easier to start the next chapter from these parts than spend time working on a chapter that's twenty some-odd pages long and get stuck when it comes time to begin the next twenty-some-odd pages. I have reached over Ninty pages on my word doc using size eight print. I'm proud. This is by far the longest story I've ever written, the second longest is my Hills have eyes story, sad isn't it? lol**

**Also, I added two quotes from my favorite poets, because Stillgold got me going on poets. I'm a fan of many, Poe, Frost, and Yeats, those are the big three for me. I'm also thinking of adding a little something to my profile, which will by poems that fit each character of the wonderland crew, I might do it, I might not. Anyway. I added a quote from Frost (you'll spot it,) and Poe, both given to White. Cookie to whoever can spot them and name the poe they come from! Muhahaha.**

**So, enjoy, have fun, and I'm still looking for a Beta, but I doubt anyone wants to take on this monster story, specially with how horrible I am when I try and give myself a deadline. I write, finish, edit, and post. All on my own time-table. **

**So, review please, it's always nice to know I'm doing a good job with the characters. That's what's so great with Alice though, the characters are just crazy enough that any personailty will suit them. Playful, mad, insane, crazy... wait insane and crazy are the same thing. Blah.**

**You get the idea. **

**So good read and stop reading this overly long and annoying authoress note.**

**Hearts**

**--**

**Chapter Nine**

Alice blinked a couple times and finally looked at Hare with an expression of absolute horror. "What…" she started, faltered, looked back at Hearts, looked back at Hare, and sat on the arm of the closest chair.

Hare forced a tight smile, "I'd love to explain it all to you, but Cheshire is being prepped and we both know that our dear Hatter may be tempted to add some extras to him." he leaned forward and kissed her forehead, "Play nice." He added to Hearts as he left the room.

"Have you made them all fall in love with you?" Hearts snipped, taking a sip of tea from the dainty little cup that had been sitting on the round knee high table that was in the middle of the group of chairs. The cup was decorated with tiny red roses, it suited the former queen.

Alice huffed and finally sat down properly in the chair. "Not yet, still working on it." she snapped back. For some reason her mood towards Hearts just wasn't as well as it should have been. The woman may have been put through hell the last seven and a half years, but that didn't mean that Alice had to forgive her just yet.

"Watch it," Hearts warned, setting the cup down again. The rim of it was stained with her red lipstick.

Alice studied the woman. She had obviously washed herself up, and she looked almost like she had the first time Alice had set eyes on her all those years ago. Her skin was pale but still leathery, her eyes sparkled but still looked tired. She'd done her face up in make-up, and it did make her look younger, but her age was showing.

"Whatever," Alice shrugged and looked at the table. Food was set out and it was obvious that it had been made by Hare at some point during the day. She wondered if this was the reason Hare had been wearing his apron. For a moment she thought about eating and then realized that her stomach felt like it was tied up in knots. No… eating would be a very bad idea right now. Instead, she turned to look at Hearts again. "Why are you here?" she finally asked.

"Hatter and I go back a long time," Hearts said softly, she lowered her eyes as if thinking about something. "A very long time."

"I can only imagine," Alice muttered.

The two sat in the thick silence for a while, finally Hearts lifted her head and sighed, "I've been wanting to talk to you." She admitted, "There's some things I think you should know."

Alice cocked her head and raised an eyebrow, "and what would that be?" she asked.

"The history of what went on before you arrived, the reason wonderland abandoned me and everyone was weary of your arrival. If you haven't forgotten, all of the Wonderlanders tried to get you to leave, to make you feel as unwelcome in our world as possible," Hearts smiled, "obviously you didn't take the hint."

Alice smiled, "I never was very good with hint taking." For some strange reason, Hearts, when she was like this, reminded Alice of someone. Though the name was unknown.

"As you should well know," Hearts began, "I was Queen over Wonderland when you arrived. Wonderland was already trying to get rid of me…" a distant look crossed her face. "The reason for it goes back a ways, to my younger, teenage, years. I was traveling to the outer isles, the isle of Waste to be precise. It was there, in that god forsaken land, that I met my downfall.  
"He was the heir to the throne, a handsome young man with the most beautiful eyes I'd ever seen. I realized at once that he was my Truth, but at that time the idea of a Queen taking a Truth was unheard of. My… friend told me that I would lose many of my friends' trust if I took this young prince as my own… but I didn't heed him. The prince and I… we both felt the same about each other, I wouldn't have believed it if I hadn't seen it with my own eyes, felt it in my heart. There was finally someone in wonderland who loved me for me…" Hearts trailed off for a moment. "I should have known better but love is a blinding thing. He asked me to change him… I did."

Alice suddenly realized that this was the same story she'd heard before, the reason why the isle of waste had waged war with wonderland.

"We both fled the isle and his father's wrath, but his father soon waged war against wonderland. Many of the peoples' who had entrusted their lives to me died during those years. Finally we won the battle and the King had no choice but to retreat and sulk alone on his island throne.  
"I'd like to say that my prince and I were happy together… perhaps we were for a time, but I had already lost the trust of many, and many were calling for me to step down as queen. I knew the only way for me to keep my place on the throne… and to keep his love, was to be cruel. After that day I stopped letting my powers cut both ways, I changed my peoples' to please myself and only myself. I knew in that instant that I had finally lost the battle I'd fought for many years, I'd become the person I didn't want to be."  
Hearts lowered her eyes, tears dripped down the crevasses in her cheeks. "My prince and I… we tried to be happy together, we tried to make our relationship work because that was what Truths do. I… I began to feel ill and finally had to call a nurse to aid me. I was pregnant. The pregnancy was horrid and I would never choose to do it again, my body couldn't even handle carrying it to the end, I was hardly far enough along when I went into labor." She looked at Alice sharply. "You're a child, but someday you'll have children and you'll understand the guilt that one goes through when one can't even protect their own children. When their body fails them."

Alice flinched, "My sister… she went through something like that, so I kind of know what you're talking about." That was what she almost said, but instead she stayed quiet as a mouse. This was a story she didn't want to miss.

"I gave birth to my twins… they were so unbelievably tiny… the nurse informed me that they'd probably die before the night was through. It was one of many times that I regretted being in wonderland, if I'd been in my own world… there were doctors who could have helped. But I was here, trapped in this world." Hearts wiped her tears away. "I don't know what my Prince did, but he made some deals with the gnomes, and before I knew it the best doctors were treating my children. They survived one night after the other. But part of the deal was that they would go and be raised by the gnomes. I've never seen my children Alice, I've never heard their names, I've never seen their faces… do you know how painful that is? How many nights I wake up and wonder about them?" Hearts snorted, "Of course you don't. But anyway, that was the beginning of the end. My Prince and I… our relationship was never the same, it was if he were afraid of me… he never touched me again. A few days before you arrived he simply vanished off the face of the earth, I haven't seen him since."

Alice looked at her hands, wrinkle free, unhindered by age or grief. "I'm sorry." She finally whispered. "I always thought of you as being… something else. I never stopped to ask myself what your life might have been." She looked Hearts in the eye, "I'm sorry."

Hearts gave a bitter smile. "The worst part is this, if I were to try and return home… I'd turn to dust. There is nothing left for me. My body is long dead, or it should be by now." She looked at Alice and sighed, "I know you will make a good queen, better than I could ever have been. I was a child when I took the throne, you take it as an adult. Maybe that will change history, at least I hope it does." She rose gracefully. "Goodnight."

Alice said goodnight. She sat there long after Hearts had gone to sleep, she sat curled up in the chair, legs drawn up to her chest, thinking. Thinking too deeply for this dark night.

--

Alice woke feeling stiff, achy, and foolish. She'd been offered a nice warm bed in one of the guest rooms but she'd fallen asleep in the chair. Why had she done that? Worry? Fear? A mixture of both?

With a loud, angry sigh, she lifted herself out of the chair and stumbled into the kitchen. It was obvious from her first sight that she wasn't the only one who'd slept horribly.

Hatter and Hare were both sitting at the prep table, chairs drawn around it. Hare had a tea cup in front of him and Hatter a large metal mug. Both looked tired and had large dark circles under their eyes.

Hare lifted his head when he heard Alice enter the kitchen, a smile curled over his lips. "Looks like I'm not the only one who didn't sleep." He commented softly.

Alice smiled briefly, "I managed a couple hours in the chair, but it's hardly a comfortable place."

"You didn't trust me to take care of your cat?" Hatter asked softly.

"Hatter, sometimes I don't trust standing in the same room as you." Alice said, crossing to him. She leaned down and pressed a kiss to his cheek, "and then someday I trust you as my right hand man." she whispered.

Hatter smiled slightly, though it was tired. "Thank you, and I say the same to you… though not that last bit."

Alice chuckled and sat in the only extra chair left. "How is he?" she asked.

"I want wondering when she would ask," Hare said to Hatter.

"Indeed." Was Hatter's soft reply. "I've done everything I can to give him the use of an arm. Of course it'll be very much like Dormouse's arm, he can hide the works with a long shirt and glove, but it will still be bits of metal attached to his skin. He'll never fully be the way he was before." He looked at Alice, "are you prepared for this?" he asked.

Alice hesitated, "I'll stand by him." she answered. "I know in my heart that he'd do the same for me, so how could I do anything less?"

Hatter nodded, "You'll make a great queen, and a good wife." He added snidely.

Alice flushed a deep red but ignored the comment. "When can I see him?"

"He's resting in the room next to our – Hatter's." Hare said, quickly correcting himself, but a moment too late. "He'll probably be awake around noon."

Alice nodded. She hesitated, "I heard an interesting story from Hearts last night." She commented dryly.

"Hearts is a very good story teller," Hatter said, "what did she tell you?"

"She told me about the prince and herself."

"Ah," Hare whispered. "I'd all but forgotten that one." He smiled softly.

"Is it true?"

"Depends on who you ask," Hatter said, "you may ask the king of the waste and he'll tell you that Hearts spirited his son away. You can ask Hearts and she'll tell you that they were in love. You can ask the Prince and get a cold stare." He smiled.

"The Prince?" Alice said sharply, "but Hearts said she never saw him after he left her."

"Ah, but sometimes what we seek is sometimes right in front of our faces." Hatter turned, "Hello," he greeted.

White huffed and stumbled to lean against the counter, "you say that as if commenting about the weather," he had a nasty gash on his arm.

"Blood and missing limbs are becoming the norm around here." Hatter rose and began setting healing aids out.

Alice watched. When Hatter removed White's bloodied shirt she couldn't help but notice something on his chest. A pale imprint that would have gone unnoticed on any other day. But today of all days, Alice's sleepy brain noticed a few details.

There was a pale rose over White's heart, stained with blood from his shoulder and arm.

For a moment Alice sat there, too stunned to think it through, though a quote ran wild through her mind, _painting the roses red_... Finally she looked at Hare, "Is white…" she trailed off.

Hare simply smiled, "Is he what?"

She gave him a hard look.

"Yes." Hare answered softly, "though he will tell you otherwise, as he tells all who ask. He is simply White Rabbit now, never who he was."

Alice looked at White a moment longer than she should have, she caught his eyes from under the mask. Confusion showed in them.

"Alright, Alice?" he questioned.

Alice forced a smile, "I'm fine, Cheshire lost an arm." she added.

White's eyes widened, "Did he? I take it he has a robotic one now?"

"Indeed." Hatter said, stepping away. "And it'll do him some good not to use orbs without checking to make sure no limbs are being held onto by certain birds of prey."

Alice snorted. "Like he meant to do it." she continued to stare at White, even after he'd pulled up a chair beside her.

"You're going to burn a hole into me, ask your question and be done with it." White finally said.

"I spoke with Hearts last night," Alice said softly.

White tensed, "Oh, and what did our former queen have to say?" he said sharply. He was still shirtless and the rose continued to draw Alice's eye.

"She told me the story of being the Prince of the waste."

"A good story." White whispered.

Alice looked at Hare who gave her a tiny nod that clearly said 'keep going!'. "I never thought of her as having children before…" she continued to stare at White.

"Many people have children," White commented dryly.

"Do you?"

White fell silent for a moment, finally he leaned back and sighed, "Alice, what are you really trying ask me?" he questioned.

"Are you the Prince?"

"No." He said softly.

"Were you him at one time?" Alice probed.

"Once upon a time and very long ago…" White whispered.

Alice closed her eyes for a moment, "do you still… love her?"

"If Cheshire broke every promise he'd ever given you… would you still love him?" he questioned.

Alice hesitated, "How did you know about…"

"A birdie told me, now answer the question."

"Yes." Alice said, "or I like to think that I'd still love him."

"The question isn't whether I still love her, it's whether she'd still love me… and forgive me." White started to push his chair away.

"Why not ask her?" Hatter questioned. He was looking at the doorway behind Alice.

Alice turned. Hearts was leaning in the doorway, her head downcast, hair falling over the withered face, when White rose and started toward her, her eyes fell on the rose mark on his chest. "Oh." Was all she could say.

White tensed and finally settled with leaning against the wall, his eyes staring at the floor.

"All these years…" Hearts whispered. "All these years and you were…" she broke down, her shoulders heaved with the tears that finally fell.

White swallowed. "I… I couldn't go back to you. I broke my promise, Rose. I needed to be near you… to help you if I could, but I knew that I could never be a part of your life again, I could never be your Prince... the one who held your love." He looked like he wanted to go to her.

"You never thought about how badly it hurt me did you?" Hearts hissed, looking up at him. "How many nights I lay there and questioned if it were something I did that drove you away from me!" she looked angry now, a burning anger that let her with tears dripping down her face.

It was a train wreck and Alice wanted to look away, this was their privet mess, she shouldn't have been sitting here, and yet she was. She wasn't moving, she was listening with rapt intent, every detail dancing in her mind.

"It was never you!" White said, sounding horrified at the idea. "I left because it was my fault you… you gave birth to our children alone." He lowered his gaze.

Hearts stayed still for a moment, "where did you get that idea?" she whispered.

White lifted his gaze, "I wasn't there, Rose, I wasn't there when you almost died!" he slammed his hands against the wall beside him. "I should have been there," there was bitterness in his voice.

"You were fighting in the war," Hatter said softly, "we all were."

White turned, "She was my wife, Hatter, I should have been by her side, not fighting for a fight I held no interest in." he looked toward Hearts again. "I have looked down the saddest city lane. I have passed the watchman on his beat and dropped my eyes, unwilling to explain…"

"Don't quote that at me…" Hearts whispered, "I stopped to call you back, I would have given my life to have you back, but you kept walking…" she laughed bitterly, "You never thought about anyone but yourself!"

White drew back as if he were struck by more than just cold words. "Rose…"

"I now say goodbye, you and I will never again be." Hearts turned to Hatter, "I bid you good day and thank you for allowing me to stay here." She looked at Alice, "Be a better queen than I was." she turned and walked out the door.

White stood there a long while. It took Alice a moment to realize that his eyes were wet, he was trembling. Finally he spoke, "So says the Raven… nevermore."

---

**EN: And that's all for this chapter. I'll have the next bit up soon enough!**


	10. Chapter 10

**AN: Welcome to another chapter, I rather like this one. There's some major plot building and manic fun. So, please read and enjoy this chapter.**

**I didn't do my normal double re-read so any mistakes are mine and mine alone. I love this story lol. **

**Hearts**

* * *

Chapter Ten

* * *

The rest of the morning passed quietly, quickly, and with a gloom over it that was thick and painful. White had gone to one of guest bedrooms and hadn't been seen since Hearts had left. Alice sat mulling over her guilt in the sitting room.

She sat on the window seat, the one that overlooked the garden, and the arrays of flowers that were still blooming. The were slumped over from the rain that had started falling earlier in the morning. It seemed thick and strange. The drops were large and pinged off the window, it sounded like a thousand people shushing a child.

She should have kept her mouth shut and not have asked about White's past, though she now knew why he wore a mask. He was the Prince of the Waste. Hearts would have known him at once had he not worn a mask to cover his face. Hatter must have had some part to play in his story, because obviously he'd known who White was all along.

'That's why he vanished a little while before I arrived,' Alice thought, 'He came to find me… but why?' she sighed and buried her face against her knees, arms folding around them, she sniffled. She felt like such a baby right now, upset with herself, upset with everything.

It seemed that everything around her lately was just going wrong, everything she tried to do right seemed to just go so horribly wrong. The trip to Isis Island, Cheshire loosing his arm, White and Hearts's relationship going completely sour, and now her own mood was going wrong.

She'd suffered through depression after her mother died, it was one of the reasons she'd been sent to see Time, though she hadn't known who he was. Time had helped her through the waves of sadness and anger, he'd whispered kind words to her, made her feel like she was loved.

Her father had taken a step back from her during that fateful year, as if she were some doll whose face had cracked, pieces had chipped away and he was suddenly afraid to handle her, afraid to break her more so than she already was. Her sister was the only one who was willing to give Alice a slap when it was needed.

Her sister had stepped up and played the role of mother to Alice, up until the day she left that is. Alice realized with a jolt that she'd never really thanked her sister for all she had done for her, never thanked her for chasing the demons out of her mind, for remembering to pack this or that for Alice when she left for boarding school.

'I'm a right idiot,' Alice thought, sighing loudly. 'I should have said thank you… instead I just snipped at her for this or that,' she closed her eyes, turned her head, and listened to the rain splashing to the ground.

shush, shush, shush, hush, hush, hush.

--

When Alice walked into Cheshire's bedroom, she watched the way he looked at her, and than quickly covered his arm with the sheet. But she'd already seen what there was to see. It was very much like Dormouse's arm, but the skin around the metal limb was angry and red, parts of his chest were stitched up, as was his shoulder and perhaps his back.

"How do you feel?" Alice asked, gingerly sitting on the edge of the bed.

Cheshire smiled wearily. "Like someone's pumped me full of beer and other things." He tried for a laugh but flinched when he managed a tiny one, "either that or poured acid down my throat and beat the crap out of me."

Alice smiled, 'at least he's the same,' she thought. "Can't be any worse than my day," she whispered.

"Did you have a bad one?" Cheshire asked, shifting a little against his pillows.

"I screwed things up again," she admitted, "I should have kept my mouth shut but I had to ask questions… why do I always ask questions?"

Cheshire fully laughed, "How am I supposed to know the answer to that?" he teased. "Alice, you are who you are, and I doubt you've ruined anything. But tell me what happened."

Alice began to recount her talk with Hearts, and than how she'd seen the rose mark on White's chest, and how she'd put it all together after that. She then told of the fight between Hearts and White, and finally she fell silent.

"I wont lie," Cheshire said, "It's quite a mess. White had his reasons for not wanting anyone to know who he was, I think in a way he feels like he choose battle over his wife, something he could never forgive himself for. I also think that his deal with the Gnomes, for them to take care of his children, also weighs heavily on his mind. He wants to forget that he was ever a prince, he wants to be someone else, and sometimes I think there are two White's…" he trailed off.

"Two of him?"

"One of them is the Prince, still hanging on to the threads of his old life," Cheshire explained, "the other is who we know, White, who wants nothing to do with the other side of his personality. They're in the same body, but sometimes, when you watch White, you can see the change. White is a tad bit more wise, and the Prince is ruthless, when they're blended it's a scary mix. I think you finally met the Prince half of him, because that quote was one that only the Prince would know, which is why it upset Hearts." Cheshire sighed and shook his head, "It's only a theory though, I have no proof that he is two people sharing the same body."

Alice nodded. It did make a lot of sense, the anger she'd seen in White, the sudden shift in his actions, the calm man had changed, and he'd struck the wall… White never did such foolish things. With White, every action was planned out to the very last movement, it's what made him so terribly dangerous on the battle field, in his hand, a sword could be used to kill in a hundred different ways.

He was like Hatter in that way, though Hatter preferred a shorter blade, and close combat. Yes. Hatter liked to look into the face of his enemy before he brought them death. He'd always been that way.

Alice closed her eyes, "Hatter and White are alike aren't they." She commented.

"They are," Hare agreed from the doorway, "Hatter was trained to fight by White, though he is a bit more twisted than our dear rabbit can boast."

"No one can boast the same mind as Hatter," Cheshire snickered.

"Don't speak ill of the person who'll be caring for you." Alice warned. She smiled as well.

Cheshire simply laughed weakly.

--

Hare walked with Alice out of the room, the feeling of something lingering on Alice's mind was enough that she stopped just out of earshot of Cheshire.

"What dwells in the darkness…?" she asked.

Hare stopped in mid step, eyes widening. He spun around and stared at her for a long while. "I'd forgotten…" he whispered, "that you came through the tunnels…" he sighed loudly. "That… thing is something we don't speak of, even on the most cheerful of days. Why ask now?"

"I keep…" Alice fell silent for a moment, would he think her mad? "I keep hearing a voice of sorts, it says for me to look into the dark for the answer." She sighed.

Hare hesitated, "A voice?"

"I'm not mad!" Alice snapped.

Hare looked taken aback, "I never said you were, Alice. But sometimes… some of us have powers over the mind, I'd hate to think that one of our enemies has enough power to will you into the dark like that." He sighed, "Go ask Hatter about the dark, if you must, he'll entertain dark thoughts that I don't enjoy."

Alice walked closer to him and threw her arms around him, hugging him tightly, "At least there's someone who is still sane, because it sure isn't me."

Hare laughed and wrapped his arms around her, "Alice, if both Hatter and I were mad nothing would get done around here." He kissed the top of her head. "Go ask Hatter,"

--

Hatter was sitting in his study, pouring over papers. He didn't so much as look up when Alice knocked on the doorframe as glanced behind him. "Yes?"

"I have a question, Hare said I should ask you because it's too dark for him to want to entertain the thought."

"You want to know the answer to the question you asked me before…" Hatter commented.

"Yes."

"Why?"

Alice told him.

"So be it." Hatter rose and opened the drapes that hung over his window. The hazy light of a cloudy day filtered into the room. He sat on the window seat, "The Jabberwocky…" the moment the words left his mouth a thick silence fell over the room.

Alice shivered, "I thought that was only a story…" she hesitated, "so… it's real than?"

"Yes." Hatter sighed, "He dwells in the caves, scared from his fight with the boy in the story. Some say he is too weak to sustain himself, I believe that he has enough strength to call people to him, he has no need to leave the darkness of his own making. He never goes hungry, that I know, and I myself have seen him." he trailed off, "It is a very dark memory."

"Why would I be hearing a voice telling me to go to him?"

"Because, for all his evils, The Jabberwocky is the only being in wonderland who does not take sides, who doesn't care about the outcome of a battle. He has always been, and will always be." Hatter shook his head, "some say that so long as the Jabberwocky survives wonderland can never fall." He looked at Alice.

Alice shivered violently, "That's a lie," she whispered, "nothing but a story."

"So it may be, so it may be. But if you gained the aid of the Jabberwocky, none, not even this false queen, would dare to stand against you." He looked at Alice.

"You think I should seek him out?" she asked.

"I never said that," Hatter snipped, "I only said it wouldn't be a bad idea. Truly though, I'd have you safe and sound, and nothing is sound after a meeting with him." he sighed, "Alice, I'd lock you away in a tiny ball and keep you from the hurts of the world if I thought you'd let me, but you'll do as you please, we both know that by now."

Alice smiled, "One of the many reasons I love you," she whispered.

"You don't love me Alice," Hatter stated.

Alice looked at him and cocked her head to the side, "What right do you have to tell me who I do or do not love? I know my own heart, inside I know that even as I love Cheshire dearly and want to spend every moment with him, I love you. It's a pain that I cannot explain, the pain of know that you will never be mine and I will never be yours. We both belong to another," she smiled at him oddly, "but alone in my thoughts I'll always wonder what could have been, might have been…"

"Should have been." Hatter added. He smiled oddly, "Love is a painful thing, a foolish thing and those who let themselves fall in love are the most foolish ones of all."

"Love should be foolish," Alice laughed, "it should hurt but the hurt should be balanced by pleasure as well."

Hatter grinned.

Alice flushed, "I didn't mean _that_!" she said, breaking into a fit of giggles. "Though Hare seems to balance you perfectly."

Hatter hesitated, he looked confused for a moment, and then his face split into a wide grin, "You're eviler than I am sometimes."

"You aren't evil, simply misunderstood."

--

It wasn't until later that Alice's thoughts truly started getting themselves in order. Should she go see that creature? Would it do her any good?

She'd deal with it another day. Another day she'd figure out the choices that needed making. But tonight, tomorrow, and the next day she would spend with Cheshire. She closed her eyes and willed her self to sleep.

Even if her dreams were restless and haunted.

--

Two months later and morning came with a flourish. The sunlight filtered in through the open drapes. Alice turned over, blinking her eyes in the bright light, and for a moment she just lay there, letting her mind go over all the strange things that had happened to her these past few months.

What had brought her to this point in her life? What had started this whole insane trip?

Time.

Time had triggered the whole thing, his strange comment at the dinner party, the way he'd made Alice feel weary and tired. If she hadn't gone home by herself she'd probably never have met White in the mirror, maybe she'd have had enough sense not to go with him.

But even if these events hadn't taken place, if Time hadn't played his part in getting her back here, didn't she belong here? It was beginning to feel that way.

She couldn't shake the sense of belonging that had fallen over her. The feeling of this place, this world, being home. The rich, loving home she'd wanted. Sure there were the bad things like people wanting to kill her, and some insane queen, and the fact that she could never go back to the other world… but it was home. The people in this world, at least the ones she loved, were the perfect family, Hatter was a little crazy, but there's always the black sheep in the family isn't there? Hare and Caterpillar were the ones she could talk freely to, and Cheshire… her dear Cheshire was the one she loved beyond a shadow of a doubt.

White was someone she wasn't sure of, he was more like a friend she'd known for a very long time, a friend whom she did have feelings for but the idea of risking such a wonderful friendship would never settle well in her heart. She knew that whatever feelings she had for him, well, they'd just have to stay buried in her heart until she didn't feel them anymore.

The others, Dormouse, Mock, they were question marks. The few times she'd seen them these past months, they'd been strange, different, and cold toward her. As if they blamed her for taking Cheshire from them.

And even Cheshire had changed. A bitterness was all round him.

She rolled over onto her stomach, buried her face into her pillow for a second. At home, when she'd had a bad day, she'd scream into her pillow, or listen to music until she felt better. In this world she couldn't do any of those things. Too many sharp ears, and no CD players.

She finally pushed up off the bed and started getting ready for the day.

It took a while but when she was dressed, had washed her face, pushed her short locks behind her ears, and found the lost boot under the bed, she walked once again down into the kitchen of Hatter and Hare's house.

The smell was the same as it was every morning. Not to say that Alice didn't like the smells of Hare's cooking, it was just the fact that it had been repeated so often that even her love of it had begun to fade. There was a sense in the air all around her, as if the world had suddenly decided to hold its breath, waiting. Waiting for what though? She didn't have any answer to that question.

She helped Hare with some of the more basic things that needed doing. Squeezing some of the juice from the fruits that were growing in the garden. Pouring said juice into glasses, setting the table with plates and forks, and simple things like that.

Alice had always entertained the idea that she wasn't a half bad cook, she'd changed her mind about that after staying with Hare. He could out cook anything she even remotely thought was good. Though she really didn't mind, it had just been a little hit to the ego, really she didn't mind.

She was just finishing setting the plates down on the table when she heard a soft laugh and a voice comment, "My, seems a little strange to see you doing things like that."

Alice turned and gave Mock an amused smile, "Why hello yourself, Mock, what brings you here?" she questioned, ignoring the first comment and his rudeness of not greeting her first.

Mock smiled that easy, laid back smile of his, the one that made his eyes crinkle around the edges. "I needed to speak with Cheshire, he well enough to deal with me?"

Alice's smile faded slightly, "He's well enough, though I'd like it better if he were able to rest a little longer…"

"Alice, he's had two months to recover, Dormouse jumped right into the battle plans after he returned from Hatter's tender care." Mock explained, a little annoyance flickering in his eyes. "The world doesn't stand still when people get hurt, they either step up and do their jobs or they get left behind. We don't want to leave Cheshire behind, Alice, but if we have to we will."

The threat was there. It was so strange for Alice to hear it come from Mock's mouth. Mock never was cruel to her, he was always the one she'd run to when she needed a hug. Had she truly been mistaken in thinking that he was one of the few who'd stayed the same?

It seemed so.

Alice sighed loudly, giving up on another childish dream. "He's in the back room, first door on the right." She turned away from him so he wouldn't see the anger written on her face.

She waited until she heard the sound of boots clicking away down the hall before she let her shoulders drop. She'd tried to keep them straight and firm, but she'd failed.

"He's right you know," White said from the doorway.

Alice looked at him, "How do you gather that idea?" she asked.

"The world doesn't stand still for one person, well, maybe it would for you, but that's for another day. What I mean to say is this: Cheshire has to step back into his role as a fighter, neither you or he can survive if he stops fighting." He looked at her with those rose colored eyes, gentle, kind, but hard all the same. "If you love him, Alice, let him go."

Alice looked away, "I wonder if Hearts would have let you go if she'd known the outcome." She walked away.

--

She found herself outside, shivering in the early morning light. A light breeze was blowing, but the air it carried with it was icy and cold. She'd heard rumors of snow fall in the outer lands of Wonderland. Snow.

"She's winning," Alice whispered, "She's going to win and I can't do a damn thing about it."

"What makes you say that?"

Alice turned. Dormouse was standing behind her. A look on his face that said he knew what she was talking about.

"Because," Alice answered, "Snow's already falling, if it falls in wonderland, if this land is coated in winter, she wins, I wont be able to bring life back…" she hesitated, "I don't know if I can do it even now." Tears threatened her eyes but she fought them with everything she had in her. She wouldn't allow herself to cry, it would be a waste.

Dormouse stepped forward and wrapped his arms tightly around her shoulders, his chest pressing against her back. "You can't worry about all that, Alice. You have so much to worry about with the things going on in the here and now that worrying about the future is likely to burn you at both ends. We can't have you going out Alice, you're the one thing we're holding on to as…" he trailed off.

Alice lifted her head to look up at him, she hadn't realized that he was taller than her. "What?" she asked.

"As the death toll rises," Dormouse finished. He sighed, "We've lost many, Alice. And the queen knows that Hatter isn't hers anymore, he's barely hanging onto this land, she wont take it because she's afraid of what's in the hillside."

"So am I." Alice agreed.

Dormouse smiled and smoothed her hair with his hand, "Just give yourself a break Alice, don't be to hard on yourself and don't expect too much. It never works out when you're trying to be super girl." He smiled.

Alice laughed, "Just what year did you come from?" she teased.

Dormouse kissed the top of her head and let go.

"Obviously it wont matter if I go with Mock and White," Cheshire said dryly from the doorway.

Alice and Dormouse spun around, "What are you talking about?" Alice demanded.

Cheshire shook his head, "I'm leaving by orb in a minute, thought I'd tell you goodbye, so goodbye." He turned and walked back into the house, a sour look in his eyes.

Alice stormed after him. "Cheshire!"

He didn't answer. He walked over to the two men and took Mock's hand. "Lets' go, please." He didn't look at Alice as he said this.

Alice stopped in the doorway, a hand on her shoulder. Hatter looked at her with a knowing look in his eyes.

Cheshire, Mock, and White vanished into thin air.

Alice closed her eyes tightly. "Why'd you stop me?" she questioned. Her voice thick.

"Because, Alice. He doesn't need personal problems weighing him down where he's going."

Alice cursed. She spun around and stormed out of the house again, slamming the door behind her.

"Damn it, damn it, damn it!" she yelled at the sky, "Give me something!" something that didn't mean going into the darkness.

The door to the entrance of the stairway swung against the rock side, smashing loudly against it.

Alice sighed. "Fine," she whispered, "Fine."

She stepped forward and marched toward the swinging doorway.

When she stepped inside, the darkness swallowed her. It loomed beside her and in front of her. She took out the small pendant that White had given her a while back. It glowed with a faint white light that was pleasant and soothing. She started up the stairs.

--

When she reached the two pathways, Alice almost backed down. She almost fled back down the stairs and gave up on this crazy, crazy idea. But she couldn't, she wouldn't allow herself to fully retreat. She turned right. The stairs here went up for a bit, and than down. And then suddenly there weren't any stairs but a straight narrow path that slopped downwards.

Her boots slipped onto the sandy rocks, sliding for a moment, almost sending her sprawling flat onto her face. she regained her balance and was more careful of where she put her feet after that.  
She ended up having to dig the heels of her boots into the earth as the path began to dip steeper than before. Finally she ended up letting go of her necklace and grabbing a hold of the sides of the pathway, which were narrowing the further it went.

The path suddenly came to its narrowest point, and the ceiling of it was also so low that Alice finally ended up on her hands and knees, crawling through it. Though quite suddenly it all opened up into a wide room.

When Alice stood she realized that the air in the room was moving, in and out, hot and muggy air. And there was a smell that was unimaginably horrid. It made Alice gag and put her hand over her mouth and nose.

"You…" a voice hissed from somewhere in the dark cavern, just out of sight of the tiny light. "would have bad breath too if you only had a bone to gnaw on." The voice, like the smell, was something unimaginable, there were no words to explain it, nor the sudden terror that came into Alice's heart when she heart it speak.

Alice swallowed hard, scared, so scared. "I…" she couldn't speak any more words because the voice suddenly laughed, a booming laughter that should have shattered Alice's bones, ended her sad excuse for a life. She should drop down to her knees and crawl forward into the darkness, begging.

Alice almost dropped to her knees and crawled forward, she'd been beginning to make the move to her knees when a sudden thought hit her, 'why?' why did she think she had any need to ask this thing to forgive her? Anger shot through her, "Enough!" she yelled into the darkness, "You have no right to play with my emotions!"

"I have every right!" the creature screamed, surely it was the Jabberwocky, "You came into my home! I didn't ask you here!" each word became louder and louder until it was a deafening scream.

Alice stood there, eyes closed, teeth gritted. When the voice faded into silence she opened them again and stared into the darkness, "Are you done?" she asked. Forcing annoyance to stand higher than the fear that was eating her courage.

"Yes." The Jabberwocky answered.

Alice sighed, "Good." She stepped forward a little ways, "I'm sorry I came here without asking first, but you leave one little choice if they have need of you."

"Why, little girl, would you have need of me?" The Jabberwocky snorted.

"I am Alice. I am the rightful queen of all of wonderland." Alice explained, "I ask where you stand in the battles that go on above ground."

"I stand on no end, little queen, perhaps the end that feeds me the best, but again, no end, no end." there was a mocking tone in that voice, bordering on laughter.

Alice sighed, "I can promise you something better than an old bone," she said softly.

"Oh, what, pray tell, little queen, can you give me to eat?" The Jabberwocky sounded curious now.

"My enemies." Alice whispered, "Those who appose me, who stand with the false queen, I'll send them all to you, hundreds if not thousands."

She could hear it now, the growling sound in the darkness, than laughter, a hungry laughter. "Oh, that is a sweet, sweet deal, little Alice," the Jabberwocky whispered, "will you deal with me in blood?"

Alice cocked her head to the side, "Blood?"

"Our promise, or treaty, if you will, will be marked in blood. I drink from you and you from be. The deal can never be broken." The Jabberwocky explained, "Do you agree?"

"You will side with me, and come to my aid should I ask for it?" Alice asked.

"Even better, I'll give you the staff with my grandfather's eye, is that not enough to show our treaty?" The Jabberwocky asked, "and you will carry my mark on you, and yours will be on me." There was a note of thrill to the voice now.

Alice sighed, "Agreed." She hesitated, "how do we share blood."

Suddenly she felt like someone, or something, was standing very near to her. She could feel the hot breath against her face, softly blowing the hair around her face. A strange tentacle like thing curled around her hand, pulling her arm upwards.

Alice tensed.

"Relax,"

she breathed, "Fine,"

Two very human hands curled around her forearm and brought it higher up, from the strange angle, this… thing, this Jabberwocky was taller than a normal man, much taller. She could her a rustling sound, like wings. The sudden feeling of lips pressing against her forearm made Alice flinch and close her eyes.

"Relax," The voice whispered again, filling Alice with terror. What on earth was she thinking! She wanted to scream.

There was a tense moment, the mouth was open against her arm, something sharp pressed against the skin, but it wasn't until a moment latter that teeth sank into her skin.

Alice screamed, almost falling.

The Jabberwocky ignored her scream, it simply sucked the blood from the wound, thrill with the taste and power that the blood held.

Finally it let her arm fall away, and Alice fought to stay on her feet.

"Your turn," The Jabberwocky chuckled.

Before Alice could protest, she found two hands grabbing her shoulders and pulled her forward. She fell against a human chest, male, but just below his chest there was… there was a nest of tentacles that writhed and moved against her front, they settled on holding her against him. A longer one, closer to the top of his chest, reached up a forced her chin upwards. She could see two glowing eyes, yellow, cat like.

"Drink," he whispered. Alice flinched as she felt her face being pushed forward against his neck. It was a very human neck. Alice hesitated, she found her mouth against the smooth skin, felt his pulse under the skin, beating quickly, like a trapped rabbit.

Cheshire had always been a hunter, he'd known how to kill a wide number of things, and suddenly his urge and memories came into Alice's mind.

She sank her teeth into the neck, the strangely sweet taste of blood filled her mouth and she drank it down. Cheshire had done this once of twice when he'd been without a knife and within an inch of starving. He'd drank down the life blood of animals, tore the flesh from them-

"Only blood," The Jabberwocky gasped, his voice filled with pain as Alice's teeth sank a little deeper.

Alice flinched, she searched inside her mind, found the place where Cheshire's thoughts had begun to leak into her, and she closed it, shut it all down like flipping switches. She almost screamed when she pulled away from his neck and found herself being held by the tentacles.

The Jabberwocky let Alice fall away from him, he was breathing hard, pained. "You… you almost took a bite out of me." He gasped.

Alice gave a small whimper, "Sorry…" she mumbled.

"Don't be."

Something hot and heavy was pressed by the tentacles into Alice's hands. She grabbed it and used it to help her stand. "Thank you." She knew what it was.

"That is an insult to someone as old as I am, don't use it again." He mumbled.

Alice smiled, the old ones were odd, not even Caterpillar remembered that Thank You was an insult in the old days. She walked away, listening to the sound of someone slinking back into the darkness, a threatening whisper followed her as she crawled away.

"Don't forget our promise."

"I wont."

--

The sun was setting when Alice stumbled out of the door, the wind have given way to the air just being plain cold. Alice shivered and looked down at her arm in the fading light.

The imprint of teeth was on her forearm, but around the imprint was the oddest thing. It looked like a tattoo, but it was more real somehow. It was a black circle with tiny lines moving through it, like a dream-catcher. She studied it for a moment and sighed, another strange thing she'd deal with later.

She could still taste the blood in her mouth and it made her feel ill, but she figured it might be taken as in insult if she puked.

She looked at the staff and stared open mouthed for a moment. It was tall and made out of something that looked very much like bones. The bones moved upwards and at the top of it, framed by two bony hands, was a glowing orb like thing, it was an eye like the one she'd seen in the darkness. But bigger, clearer, and it stared blankly, but the light of life was still in it.

"What is this?" she whispered. Was it a person turned into a staff? How could that be...?

"Alice!" Dormouse sprinted across the lawn and stopped a couple feet from her, "Where have you-" his eyes locked onto the Jabberwocky staff, "Oh." He whispered.

"I… I had to meet someone," Alice said, suddenly sitting down on the cold ground, she put her head between her knees.

Dormouse knelt next to her and touched her forehead, "You don't need to say anymore, I know who you met today." He sighed loudly, "You're lucky to be alive… what did you promise that thing to get… this and that mark?"

Alice lifted her head, "I promised him that I'd feed all of my enemies to him." she smiled slightly. "Figured that'd be a good enough offer."

Dormouse's eyes widened, "That's thousands of people, Alice!" he sounded horrified, "You've condemned them all to death!"

"It's not my fault people are stupid!" Alice snapped.

"You're almost worse than Hatter," Dormouse stood and shook his head, his disgust was evident.

"Thank you," Alice said, suddenly angry, "I'm glad I'm like Hatter, at least I'm not like you, so righteous and yet so afraid!"

Dormouse's lips pursed together, "You don't know me, Alice, so don't act like you do." His voice was low and threatening.

"Go away, Dormouse." Alice whispered, "Go away and stay out of my life if you have a problem with me. But don't become an enemy…" she walked passed him.

He didn't call her back.

--


	11. Chapter 11

**AN: Gasp, it's an update! I haven't died yet, so here ya go. I had a couple of re-writes that I had to do, and a lot of false starts. Alice wanted her story to be interesting, and she didn't want to listen to me. Lol. **

**Also, I know, I made a mistake in the last chapter that'll wait until the final re-write to be fixed. But the Jabberwock has gotten his name back, I don't know why I left the Y on it the whole of last chapter ugh!**

**So here you go! Enjoy!**

**--**

Chapter Eleven

--

The sun was setting when Alice stumbled back to Hare's door. she stood there in the twilight for a moment, feeling a weight on her chest that felt as if it would never be lifted. Cheshire had left her without so much as a goodbye.

For some strange reason, that reminded her too much of her mother, how she'd never said that final goodbye. She'd been too selfish to stand there and face the fact that the person she loved most had forgotten her.

"Alice?"

Hare stood there in the doorway, wiping his hands on his apron, a confused expression on his face.

Alice realized that she was a right ugly sight. Covered in dirt, her pants torn, her shirt bent out of shape from the strange tentacles of the Jabberwock. She smiled weakly and looked at the bone like staff in her hands. "I'm back." She said.

Hare stared for another second before he walked out of the house and over to her. and just because she looked like she needed it, he hugged her tightly. "Welcome back." He whispered.

Alice sighed and buried her face against his shoulder. "I think Dormy is angry with me." She whispered, slipping back into the use of an old nickname.

Hare sighed and his arms tightened around her, but he was careful not to brush against the Bone staff. "It's ok." He whispered, "He's mad at the world."

Alice laughed weakly, "that makes two of us." She lifted her head and her eyes locked at Hatter's form leaning in the doorway.

If she didn't know better she'd say that he looked very, very pleased by the sight of the staff.

"How was the darkness?" he asked.

Alice smiled, "Pleasant." She replied.

--

"The shadows have always kept to themselves, they side with no one." Mock snapped, his fists banging down on the table. "They'd never side with her!"

Alice flinched and lowered her face. It had been a week since she'd come back with the staff, and strangely enough, things seemed to be going in her favor, though in ways that she'd never have thought about before.

Suddenly creatures that served no one were siding with her. Though no one was quite sure how to feel about it.

Mock wasn't the first one to get upset by the fact that these dark creatures were waking to serve Alice.

"Mock, we told you. Alice has the bone staff, they're serving her because they've been ordered to serve her!" Hatter yelled back.

The arguments had been going on like this for a while. Back and forth they would bicker until one of them gave up and stormed off.

Alice closed her eyes and laid her head on the table, "You're both impossible." She wrapped her arms above her head and decided that ignoring the lot of them would serve her well.

Did they think having the nightmares of wonderland showing up on her doorstep was a treat? Because if they did… oh, she was so going to have to have a few words with them about it.

The Shadows in question were creatures that lived in the outer lands. A place that was basically off the map. The territory stretched for miles and miles and no one had thought about documenting just how far it went. Some people believed that the shadows lands changed when a new dreamer, a new child of wonderland as born.

They changed to suit that new child, the shadows changed into the most comfortable creatures of wonderland. Though sometimes a child's dreams easily stayed in the nightmare state and the child never found their own personal wonderland.

There were days when Alice herself wondered how she'd ever found wonderland on her own. No, that wasn't right at all. It was White had led her into wonderland, but he'd taken a strange approach to it.

Most children never truly entered wonderland, most were content to dream about it and the people who belonged to them. Alice had truly entered wonderland and met the knights who were until that moment, just a dream.

Mock stared at Alice and the look wasn't entirely friendly. Finally he closed his eyes and once again pinched the bridge of his nose, breathing slowly and evenly. "Alice, please, you don't understand how hard this is on all of us. These things were never part of wonderland, they're monsters and suddenly we're being asked to work _with them. _It's a task we're not pleased with."

Suddenly, Alice lifted her head and looked at him, a strange look in her eyes. "I didn't ask you to be happy about working with them, I simply ask that you do it." her eyes narrowed. The line was very alike to the one that Cheshire had used on her on their first meeting. She'd thought him rude and unkind for saying it, and yet here she was now, saying the same thing. What a hypocrite she was!

Mock stared at her in complete surprise. For a moment he looked hurt and then his expression became annoyed again. "Alice, you wouldn't understand…" he trailed off, obviously deciding that she was a lost cause.

Alice sighed, trading insults with him wasn't working, she was left with the last idea in her head. "Mock, am I queen or not?"

Mock's eyes widened, "Alice…" he sighed and rolled his eyes. "Don't play that card with me, I'm too tired-"

There was the sound of a fist connecting with the side of someone's face, and the tumbling of someone out of a chair.

Alice stood and sighed, staring down at Mock's form on the floor. His eyes were wide, his hair, which had grown long in the months since Alice's return, was spread around him.

Hatter glared down at him, his eyes blazing with furry. "She is Queen," he hissed through his clenched teeth. "If you think otherwise than I think it is time for you to go elsewhere."

Mock swallowed, "I-I never said she wasn't!" he cried, forcing himself to sit up. The look on his face was so helpless.

Alice sighed, "Hatter, enough." She reached out and laid her hand on his arm.

Hatter turned his head and looked at her, he saw the weary gaze, the way she looked pained. He stepped two steps back from Mock and let the angry blaze in his eyes smooth itself away. But it was always below the surface, waiting to spring. Mock seemed to set it off so easily these days.

Not for the first time Alice found herself thankful for whatever bond she had with Hatter. It seemed that with just a touch she could help him calm himself down. That and she just liked touching him.

She'd never say it aloud, but she missed Cheshire. She missed him and sometimes found herself feeling completely lost without him. It was like someone had taken a piece of her heart and thrown in away.

She wondered in Cheshire felt the same way, but when she really thought about it she realized that he was the one who'd left her, so in someway… he'd thrown her away as if they didn't know how much it would hurt the other.

Mock slowly picked himself up off the floor, reaching up to hold onto the table. He stumbled and slowly reached his free hand up to touch the red mark on his cheek.

Alice realized that Hatter had done worse than punching him, he'd slapped him. Slapping was, in most of the guys' minds, worse than being punched, it was as bad as being treated like a girl to them. Though Alice still couldn't wrap her mind around that bit of information.

Hatter closed his eyes and breathed through his nose, fighting the urge that told him that Mock was going to say something very stupid soon.

"Alice," Mock began. "I never said I didn't think of you as queen."

"I know that," Alice said, shrugging her shoulders. "I really don't care if you think of me as your queen, but I do care whether you act like I'm queen. If I'm queen than my word is law, and yet you and so many others completely ignore my ideas, you do as you please, and you overlook me when deciding things." She looked over at Hatter, "You do it too," she added as an after thought.

Hatter shrugged, "I still think of you as a child, Alice, so forgive me if I'm still wrapping my head around the idea that you're queen." He smiled in a friendly sort of way, but it was also the same smile that a shark had before it ate you.

Alice couldn't help the shiver the moved down her spine at the thought. Hatter _was _very shark-like though, that couldn't be denied. She moved on, "So, to end it, I don't give a damn what you think of me, but if you want me to be queen, than at least pretend to listen to what I have to say, it'll save us both annoyances and hurt feelings."

Mock gave a nod. "I can't promise I'll work nicely along side your… shadows, but I'll try." He sighed, "I'll try… is that enough?"

Alice nodded. "That's all I'm asking for. Work with them while we have them. You aren't the first person, nor the only person in wonderland who has a fear of them, use it!" she smiled, "Don't waste the gift that's walked right into our hands. I don't know how long they're going to be here, and so long as they think I'm in control of everything…" she shrugged.

"Think?" Hatter questioned, crossing his arms against his chest.

"Hatter," Alice groaned, "No one in wonderland really thinks I'm queen, they'd throw me under the bus the first chance they got, you know it, I know it, lets just accept it and move forward, thank you very much." She shrugged and forced a light smile onto her face. It was one of the smiles she'd learned to put on while attending to the daily tasks of her life back home. If you smile and pretend to be happy, people assume you're happy. It was, as she told herself back then, for the best, all for the best.

Hatter was beginning to know this new Alice, he was beginning to read her moods, and he knew how false that smile was, how much it pained Alice to know that the rest of wonderland thought of her as a figurehead and nothing more. They saw Alice as a sign that wonderland wanted them to fight, to keep going, they didn't see Alice as the next queen, or anything for that matter.

Hatter knew better and he only prayed that White and the others knew it as well. Wonderland would never forgive them if they tried to get rid of Alice a second time. Wonderland would finally fall and fail, like the children's rhyme, 'All the kings horses, and all the kings men couldn't put him back together again.' Wonderland would be broken without Alice.

They spoke a little while longer before Mock left and headed back out to the muster stations which were spread across wonderland, he was one of the generals of the sea. Mustering his older friends into battle.

Wonderland's creatures always amazed Alice. Just the shear number of them, and the way that, for the most part, they all could work together if they had a certain goal in mind. Over-throwing the queen who was destroying their home was a worthy goal, or so it seemed.

Alice watched Mock orb out before she turned to Hatter, "Please stop hitting people for my sake," she said.

Hatter blinked, "you waited for him to leave to say that?" he laughed. His shoulders shook, and the laugher was strangely mocking.

Alice sighed, "No one needs to see us bicker."

"It scares them more that we don't fight, they think you are too much like me."

"And I am, it scares me to say it aloud, but I am very much like you Hatter." Alice closed her eyes and leaned against the table. "I sometimes think that whatever bound us together made us more alike to each other than either of us has any right to be. Before, when I was at home… I would never have imagined being cruel, I'd never imagined that someday I could willingly agree to give a bunch of people over to a blood thirsty monster so he could eat them." She shook her head in amusement.

Hatter chuckled, "What child imagines feeding people to monsters, Alice." He shook his head. "No, you were innocent until wonderland called you back here. I guess wonderland and her people are just selfish."

"One question," Alice said, holding up one of her fingers. "Why do you refer to wonderland as 'she' when all of you have such low ideas about women?"

Hatter opened his mouth, closed it, and frowned. "I don't really know," he admitted. "and it's not that we don't like women-"

"It's just that men are jealous that we need women," Hare said from the doorway, a grin on his face.

Alice smiled at him. Their relationship was more like brother and sister than anything else, she was thankful for that, she already had enough men in her life, adding another wasn't on her list of things she wanted to do right now. "Hello," she greeted.

"Hello," Hare returned. "I take it that it didn't go well?"

"Hatter slapped Mock," Alice said, frowning at said man. "And Mock is pissed that I played the queen card."

"Well, you are queen." Hare said, cocking his head. "Why would he be upset about it."

"Because no one really believes I'm going to stick around long enough to be crowned queen." Alice said.

"Where'd you get that idea?"

Alice turned towards her right and stared at White, who'd just orbed in. "From the fact that people get pissy when I say 'am I queen or not'." She grinned and walked over to him to give him a tight hug.

White was still one of the few people that she felt the urge to hug when she saw him. Just because touching him made her feel a little safer.

White's arms snaked around her and held her against him. "You see far to much for a human," he murmured against her hair.

Alice nodded. "Sometimes I wish I could leave things well enough alone, but I can't, it's not who I am."

"and we wouldn't care for you if you weren't yourself." Hare chimed in.

White chuckled and shook his head. "I need to talk to you," he added, looking down at Alice.

Alice stepped back and took his hand. "Privately?"

"Yes." White lead her out of the house and into the gated garden. "I have a story for you, one that no one else has heard before."

Alice looked at him as they walked. His hair was longer, and his mask was a little off center, his ear was typed, all of this pointed to the fact that he was from the wastes. She felt like an idiot for not seeing it before.

Hatter had only found out because he'd been in battle with White when White made the choice to disappear. And he'd helped him, going so far as to tell the queen that White had vanished, feared dead.

Hearts had completely lost it after that.

They sat down on a fallen tree. Alice's legs hung over enough that she could swing them back and forth, playfully and child like. White sat stiffly beside her.

"When… when I was the Prince of the waste," White began, his voice sounding empty, "My father always expected great things from me, he was certain that I was going to be a great ruler… but that was never in my mind. I wanted to study, I wanted to learn how to avoid battle… I just wanted to figure out how to deal with people without having to take their lives away from them. When H-Rose came to visit us, pleading for aid against the armies that were invading wonderlands south border lands… I was amazed by her.  
Here was this tiny little girl, but already she was a wise queen… she was the female version of myself, the version my father wanted to see that is. I guess that is why we fell in love, she was what I could never be… the nights in the castle, talking with her as if she weren't a female ruler of another land, a rival land." White hesitated, a strange look in his eyes, almost as if he were smiling but not quite. "They are my fondest memories. When she offered me a place in her library I thought things had finally gone my way. But my father wouldn't allow me to leave, he feared that this was a trick of some sort. Rose and I had already begun to fall in love, and his hatred of her was what finally pushed us both over the edge of reason. I fled with her into the heart of wonderland. I loved her so completely that I thought, if anything should happen to her… I would surly die."

Alice closed her eyes, "I know the feeling." She whispered.

"Cheshire?"

"Yes."

White's eyes flashed with a true smile, he tilted his head back and chuckled. "Rose told me the same… she begged me not to fight in the battle, but I had to, I had to protect my wife, I had to protect my unborn children. I didn't know at the time that Rose thought the same thing, she had to protect _me. _She changed the day my father announced his intent to fight, she changed because she had to… I left her with no choice because I didn't rightly understand what it was I saw in her eyes before I left." White stopped for a moment, he looked down at his hands. "I know now that what I saw was fear. Fear of what she would do if I died, what she'd do to herself should I not return home. She would join me in death if I never returned…"

"But she was pregnant…" Alice whispered.

"Which is more important… children you haven't met, or the man who is a piece of your very soul?" White cocked his head. "To Rose, I was the only thing she cared about. It wasn't until she held our children in her arms for that fleeting moment that she realized how much she loved them. I returned home to find her in that state, I almost died seeing her suffering so. I did what I thought was right, I needed Rose to stay alive… I was selfish enough to force her to stay alive, so I asked the gnomes to save my children. Even though I didn't know them… even though I didn't yet love them. I loved their mother and that was enough for me." White shook his head. "But Rose was never the same, she wasn't the woman I fell in love with. I'd gone away and returned to find some twisted monster in the place of the woman I loved." He finally looked at Alice, their eyes locking. "Cheshire is repeating my mistakes Alice, he'll return to find that you've changed, you've taken on the role that he is running away from."

"Cheshire isn't running away." Alice snapped, suddenly feeling like her skin was a little too small. She didn't want to be put in this box, she didn't want to fit into any role that Hearts had once worn.

White chuckled, "Alice, you can't hide it. I see the change in you, but you wear this skin better than Rose ever could, you are who you are, and Rose was who she was. She was never meant to be cruel, but she became that to protect me. You become cold to protect yourself from getting hurt, because you've been hurt too many times before." He reached up and tapped the edge of his mask, "I hide because I don't want to be who I was, I don't want to see that look on peoples faces when they remember that I was the one who broke Rose's heart. I shattered her mind to pieces, because she loved me."

"Love hurts, White, it hurts and it sucks, but we have a choice. We can either stand up and admit that we need someone to be there, we can be selfish and try to fit that person into a box and ask them not to leave it, or we let them go, risking it all because we know that they have to do it." Alice sighed, "Cheshire left, I didn't even say goodbye. But I'll be damned if I hinder what he is trying to do out there. If he dies… I'll never forgive myself, I love him enough that I wouldn't want to live… but everyone tells me that Wonderland is going to die if I die, I have something I have to live for, something other than love. Its called responsibility."

White laughed, a strange sound, deeper than the normal laugh. "Sometimes I wish that my Rose could have been like you, Alice. Sometimes I wish she'd been as strong and understanding." he looked at her with a smile in his eyes. "Sometimes I wish Cheshire hadn't gotten to you first." He looked away

Alice flushed and looked down at her hands, where were clenching her pants. "Oh." She trailed off. "That was a change of topic…"

White snorted, "just slightly."

Alice smiled. Suddenly an urge hit her that she didn't understand, but it was so strong that she couldn't stop it. "White…"

White turned and looked at her. "Yes?"

Alice leaned forward, she reached her hands up, skimmed her fingers against the smooth surface of the mask. Slowly she reached behind his head, her fingers brushing through the soft locks of his hair, and than they found the silky ribbons that held the mask in place. She held them in her hands.

White's breathe caught in his throat but he didn't make any moves to stop her. even when he felt her tugging the ribbons loose. He reached up and touched his fingertips to the mask, holding carefully.

Alice sat back and reached her hands out again, this time to take hold of the hand that held the mask in place.

White lifted his head and slowly let his hand drop.

Alice stared at White's face, somewhat surprising. She'd seen what those who lived in the wastes looked like, but for some reason, she'd never been able to put a face like that onto White.

His face was handsome, perhaps a little too rough. The skin on his face was a pale white color that looked more powdery than most of the skin colors of wonderland, it was lighter than the rest of him. His rose colored eyes looked tired now, because they were a little sunken, tired and rimmed with pink. His mouth was a cupid bow, and a soft pink color. His nose was straight and suited his face. but the cheek bones stood out a little too much.

Alice swallowed and forced herself to remember how to breathe. She laughed softly.

White cocked his head, lips pursing together. "You… laughed." He sounded worried.

"Sorry," Alice giggled, "it's just that this is so weird…" she trailed off for a moment. "I never imagined what you'd look like without the mask." She looked at the mask, a small smile slid over her lips. "You look better without it."

White laughed, "Thank you," he whispered.

Alice smiled and lifted her head, "I can see why Hearts… Rose fell in love with you, you are very handsome, but different…"

"I'm from the Wastes, Alice," White chided, "I don't have the same look as the native Wonderlanders have."

Alice nodded, "I meant," she said, frowning, "that it was strange to see someone like you and realize that for all the time I spent here… I never thought about meeting some of the other races, I mean, I met the ones that are near and around the main city but… I never thought about what was outside wonderland. I never cared."

White reached forward and laid his fingertips on Alice's face. "You were a child, you weren't mean to think about things like that." He smiled again.

Alice sighed and leaned forward, pressing a light kiss to his mouth. It was just a kiss, no pull, no sudden strange bit of magic. If anything she got a little shock that repelled her from him. "You're taken," she laughed.

White cocked his head, "huh?"

"Rose and you are still bonded, no matter how much you seem to dislike each other!" Alice found it amusing as hell.

White sighed, "great, I'm stuck with her than?"

Alice reached out and smacked him. "You love her still."

"Of course I do," White said, "I only meant that she hates my guts."

"Maybe… you should find her and ask her about that before you judge it as truth."

"Alice… she wants nothing to do with me… she hates everything about me right now… it'll only hurt us both if I go and ask her if she's still in love with me." White's face showed pain.

Alice almost slapped him. "You are such a guy!" she snapped, "think about it as a girl, it's hard for us to let go of hurt feelings, but just because we're hurt doesn't mean we stop loving, we always remember the ones who broke our hearts, we remember them even when we love another…" she trailed off. "You never stop loving someone, White, they're always there, always remaining a 'what if,' what if I'd done something different, been better, been prettier… they're always there. Love hurts and leaves scars, and if you can break up with someone and not feel a damn thing than it wasn't love, it was lust or something like that." She shook her head.

White closed his eyes. "You truly think… after all I put her through that she'd… forgive me?"

"I can't say she will, but being given the choice will mend some hurt feelings. Keep trying, she's your soul mate isn't she? The one you love more than anyone else in the whole world?" Alice leaned forward and looked him in the eye.

White smiled, "Yes."

Alice smiled brightly, "Than you aren't allowed to give up, you have to try, even if it hurts."

White reached out and touched her face, cupping her chin, "When did you get so wise?" he teased.

"Since I had a make-out with Caterpillar, it does things to the mind, you know?"

"No!" White laughed, "I wouldn't know what that's like!" he was laughing so hard that the words came out jumbled and he had to repeat them twice before Alice under stood just what he was saying.

Alice giggled along with him.

--

She walked back to the house by herself, White having gone to look for Hearts, wherever she might be.

Hatter met her halfway to the house, he was leaning against a tree, an expression on his face his face was carefully blank, bored even. But his eyes were studying her face carefully.

"Where'd the rabbit go?" He asked playfully.

Alice frowned, there was something biting in his words but she couldn't pinpoint what it was. "He's gone… on a personal trip." she explained. Shrugging her shoulders she walked over to him.

Hatter studied her face, "Did he finally tell you?"

"Tell me what?" Alice asked.

"What happened to Rose?"

"Yeah," Alice looked at her feet, the boots were scuffed and in need of polish, but that was a stupid thought so she quickly turned away from it. "He told me…"

"You're lying about something."

"No I'm not, I'm just not telling you something." Alice crossed her arms against her chest and smirked, "There is a difference you know?"

"Hmmm," Hatter reached out and laid his hand on the top of her head, "Sure, short stuff."

"That was low!" Alice yelled, swatting his hand.

"You don't say!" Hatter grinned.

Alice groaned. "Hatter… do you love me?" she asked, changing the subject.

Hatter frowned, "Do you have to ask?" he cocked his head.

Alice reached out her hand and touched his smooth face. "You should be mad at me,"

Hatter's frown deepened, "Why's that?" he asked.

"Because I made you love me," Alice said, lowering her eyes. "I made you fall in love, it wasn't you're choice."

Hatter laid his hand on top of Alice's. "Silly, I loved you before you left and I still love you now. It never changed."

Alice thought about this for a moment and laughed, "That should be really creepy, you know?"

Hatter grinned and cocked his head, "Changing the subject." He smiled, "You ready to go home?"

Alice laughed, she thought about her father and sisters', thought about them for a moment, let the pain wash through her, and than she closed it down. "Yes," she said, "I'm ready." She dropped her hands to her side.

Hatter took her hand in his and walked with her. A comfortable silence held between them.


	12. Chapter 12

AN: Another chapter for you to chew on. It's shorter than most, but I thought it'd be a good present for you all. I'm working on the next chapter already, and I've gotten more work done today than I have in a while.

My nephew is home sick from school, poor baby, and I've had to stay with him. So I've been working on this story for a while. I also included a surprise for you. You would have learned it if you were reading my Livejournal, but oh well, you get it now! Lol

Read and Review!

* * *

Chapter Twelve

--

Alice walked in to the house and spotted Hare cooking something. He was always cooking. She walked over and peered over his shoulder. "Yummy," she said.

"White didn't stay long now did he?" Hare questioned, looking over his shoulder.

Alice shook her head, "I think he's going to do something that he should have done a long time ago." She smiled inwardly and started helping Hare with his latest cooking project.

When it was finished, it was a type of stew that was both rich and hearty, but also strangely light as well. It was a mix of fish and something else. Something Alice had realized in the months since she'd been in wonderland was this: You don't ask about what goes into the food, sometimes it was something that would make you sick just thinking about it.

At least this food tastes good, Alice thought, washing the bowl she had used.

The sound of the front door opening and closing echoed through the house. "Hello," Alice called, it was a habit.

"Hello,"

Alice turned, she stared at Edu. He was still wearing his black uniform, the cap tucked low over his face, one hand was in his pocket, the other hand was raised in greeting.

Alice stood there for a moment, wondering where Hare and Hatter had gone off to.

"They're around." Edu said, shrugging. "Might be a little busy with the Hatter's little friends, but oh well."

Alice cursed. "You just love causing trouble don't you?" she asked.

Edu smiled, in made his face come alive. "Oh, of course, it's my only delight in this piss poor life." he laughed darkly.

Alice smiled and shook her head. Without thinking she tightened her grip on the bowl, much like she had the cup at the party. With a glare, she chucked it at his head and ran.

Edu ducked and the bowl shattered in the place where his head had been, he stared after Alice, cursed, and took off after her.

--

Alice's throat felt tight. She forced her feet to move as quick as possible. Don't think, don't think, don't think. She chanted in her head as she ran. She wasn't going to think about the possibility of Edu catching her, or the possibility of what he'd do to her if he did catch her. but the thoughts came anyway.

She could hear the sound of Edu's footsteps just behind her. Even though she was an avid horror movie fan, she broke rule number one of surviving. She ran upstairs.

She stumbled on the top step, she caught the handrail, took a moment to get her bearings, and than started running again. She slammed the door of Hatter's bedroom, heart pounding in her throat, choking her. She grabbed the large wooden chest that was set next to the door, she pushed with all her might and managed to slide the chest in front of the door.

The sound of someone banging against it echoed loudly. Alice stared at it for the space of a heartbeat, and then she sprinted to the window. She pushed hard and the doors slid open. Her breathe caught in her throat as the icy air blew through the window. She breathed through the shock and sat on the edge of the window.

She looked down, the fall wasn't that bad. She tried telling herself this, but it didn't make her feet better. The sound of something slamming into the door was followed by the sound of something heavy sliding. Alice didn't wait to see what the sound was.

"Alice!"

She pushed off the ledge. There was a sickening moment of freefall. The moment when suddenly your heart is in your throat and you see your life flash before, echoing everything said and unsaid, every mistake that you've ever made and every chance you wanted to have in your life.

She hit the ground, feet first, with a solid thud. She stumbled forward and fell to her knees. She cursed as the pain radiated up her body. She shuddered, pushed herself back to her feet. When she didn't feel any extra pain, she felt relief. She started running, but it wasn't nowhere near as fast as she'd ran inside the house.

She made it into the woods and forced herself to go deeper. The woods boarded the land around Hatter's house. They were thick with trees spaced closely together. It was hard to get through the ivy and twig enclosed openings, and before too long Alice's hands and arms were sliced and bleeding.

She used her feet to kick through another area, her breathe was coming in harsh pants down. Puffing white in the cold air. She finally managed to get enough room to squeeze through. The twigs caught in her hair and scratched at her face.

She stumbled when she freed herself. She reached her hands out and caught hold of the closest thing to her. which was a human arm.

"Have off!"

Alice jerked backwards and would've fallen if the arm she'd just grabbed hadn't shot out and grabbed her around the waist. She was jerked upward and against a warm chest.

She opened her eyes and found herself staring into a pair of lime green eyes. She blinked a couple times and flushed to find herself so close to someone's face. she drew back, her cheeks red.

Bill cocked his head and gave one of his trademark grins. "Hello, Alice!" he greeted.

Alice stared at him for another second.

He wasn't handsome, or rather he wasn't the type of person she found handsome. His skin was leathery, like Mock's, but you could see the groves running over the surface of it, giving him a scaly look. His face was also made up of all hard lines, very male, with none of the softness that Hatter and Cheshire had, even White's face was softer looking than Bill's. His hair was silvery, clashing with his green, green eyes. They were almost like a day glow green.

Bill slowly let Alice step back from him, a flush had moved over his cheek when he realized how close their mouths had been to each other. "I-I'm sorry!" he flushed and fully let go of her, giving a little bow.

Alice stared at him for a moment, "M-my fault," she stuttered. "I wasn't… paying attention!" she bowed to him in return.

Bill looked up, and blushed even deeper. "W-what were you doing running through the woods?"

"Edu was chasing me!" Alice turned and looked over her shoulder, expecting to see said man standing there, ready to snag her and do heaven knew what to her. But there was no one there.

Bill reached out and laid his hand on her arm. "Alice?"

Alice turned and looked back at him, "I-I don't know where he went," she stuttered. "He was right there!" she buried her face against his chest.

Bill squeaked loudly and spread his arms wide, staring down at the top of Alice's head with a completely shocked expression on his face. "O-ok Alice, c-calm down." He pleaded.

Alice clung to his sheet, crying. "I-I was scared." She sobbed.

Bill slowly lowered his arms and wrapped them around her. "It's ok," he whispered. He laid his head on top of hers, "It's all better now, hush." He repeated this until Alice had stopped crying.

Alice stepped back from his, staring fixedly at her feet, "I'm sorry." She whispered, "I shouldn't have lost it like that."

"If I was being chased by psycho number two I'd be scared too," Bill teased. He reached his hand out and cupped her chin, forcing her to look up at him. "Are you alright now, Alice?"

Alice thought about this for a moment and nodded, "I-I'm better now," she smiled.

Bill flushed with pleasure. He chuckled and took her hand. "Where were you staying?" he asked.

"With Hatter and March… Edu said something had happened to them though…" Alice trailed off and looked over her shoulder.

"I can't take you back there until I get the all clear," Bill said gently, "Will you come and stay with me?"

Alice hesitated, finally she nodded her head once. "I-I trust you."

Bill beamed.

--

Bill's house was modest by any standard. It was a small one room home. A fireplace sat against one wall, close to the bed, a stove was against the other. There was a small desk and a dresser on the final wall.

Alice took it in and looked over at the tired eyes of someone she'd never really been friends with. Bill was White's friend, not her own. She noticed though that there was flowers on the window, and there was a sweet, female smell to the house.

"Who'd you marry?" she asked softly.

Bill turned and smiled, "Mary-Ann," he said.

Alice's eyes widened at the mention of White's maid. "Really?" she asked.

Bill chuckled, "Yes. She was thrilled." He looked out the window, a distant gaze in his eyes.

"What's wrong?" Alice asked, stepping closer.

"I was just thinking… not everyone who comes to wonderland is so well off…" he looked at her, cocking his head to the side. "Sometimes it's not fair."

"Mary-Ann was… was from my world?" she asked.

"Yes." Bill answered. He walked over and sat down on the bed. "She came here years ago… half-dead when she stumbled into White's arms. He took her in and cared for her. It turns out that she had been abused in her old life… her father. He'd damn near killed her, she found her way to wonderland… but at the price of her old life, she could never set foot in the real world again or else she'd die. Dormouse has the same story, did he ever tell you that?"

Alice nodded, "He said that he'd been like me once…"

"I was the one that found him, in the bottom of a well of all things…" Bill's eyes grew distant. "His three sisters… they were all dead, they didn't survive the trip through the twilight, and Hatter… well I guess he felt bad for the boy, he took him in and somehow he ended up with the nickname Dormouse… his real name was Gabriel…" he smiled fondly.

"You all had different names didn't you?" Alice asked, sitting down on the rug near the fire.

"What?" Bill looked surprised.

"I mean… when you were little, you couldn't have had your nicknames, like White, and Hatter, they were children once, they must have had other names."

Bill looked thoughtful for a moment, "My name has always been Bill, but Lizard was added on after people noticed my skin problems." He reached up and rubbed his face. "Hatter's… I'd almost forgotten his name." He seemed amused for a moment, "Anshu," he whispered. "It means ray of sun, he was born hours after Time, who was born during the night."

"What are the others names?" Alice asked, sitting forward.

"Time's name is Nox,"

"That means night doesn't it?" Alice asked suddenly.

"I believe so…"

Alice started giggling, "Doctor Knight!" she shook her head in amusement, "The asshole was just screaming who he was."

Bill raised an eyebrow but went on. "Hare's name was Zane. White, when he was his former self was Cledwyn, yes I know about that. Cheshire's was Asher. Caterpillar's name was Calais. Mock's name is Rowan, and Gryphon was called Talon at one time."

"Asher…" Alice smiled and tested the name on her lips. "It means happy, right?"

Bill nodded, "Happy, cheerful, something like that." He smiled.

"The twins have always had their names?"

"They were named by the gnomes, and it's common for the gnomes to choose names that match, Tweedle is the matching part of it."

Alice froze, she lifted her head and looked at Bill, "Did you say they were raised by gnomes?"

"Yes."

"And they're twins…" she closed her eyes, "how old are they?"

"Alice, you know we don't keep track of time here." Bill started to stand up to go over and put some tea on.

Alice grabbed his pants leg, "Bill, this is important, think back, how old were they when I arrived."

"I guess they would have been… about nine or ten in your years, but we age faster so they looked older."

"When did they show up with the gnomes?"

"They were just babies."

"And when did Hearts completely loose it?"

"About eleven years before you arrived."

"So around the same time that Hearts lost it, the gnomes took in the twins?"

Bill cocked his head, "I guess so…" he shrugged.

"Did anyone know what caused Hearts to loose it?" Alice probed.

"Her babies, they died." Bill shrugged sadly. "That and Cledwyn choose to become White just after their death." He sighed sadly, "it was all of those things piled on top of each other that did it."

"I think…" Alice stood up, "I think I need to go and see Hatter, now." She whispered.

"Alice."

Alice snapped around and stared at the door. "Ch-Cheshire!" she cried, she ran forward and flung her arms around his neck.

Cheshire laughed and wrapped his arms around her, holding her close. "Thank god," he whispered. "I thought – I was sure that the twins would have gotten you!" he was crying.

Alice pushed back and stared at his tears. "Cheshire…"

"Alice, I couldn't have lived with myself if something happened and I left like an asshole." His lilac eyes were wet and shimmering.

Alice smoothed her hand against his face. "Cheshire…" she said his name softly, "Asher…" she teased.

Cheshire's widened and he looked over her shoulder at Bill, "Thanks a lot," he commented.

"Just doing my job, Cat."

Cheshire looked at Alice, "I haven't been Asher in a very long time, I prefer Cheshire. We all prefer the names we choose for ourselves." He laid his hand flat against her cheek and sighed. "I missed you." He added.

Alice smiled, she leaned up on her tippy toes and kissed his lips. "I know," she laughed.

--

Alice held Cheshire's arm as the orbed out of Bill's house and back to the gnome village. It had been improved since the last time she'd seen it. The houses were better pieced together.

The main house, which had belonged to White, was brightly lit, well put together, and filled to the brim with people doing this and that. Most of them were hurt.

Mock was sitting next to Hare, bandaging his arm. Hatter already had half of his face covered in bandages. He looked at Alice with his good eye and gave her a fleeting smile. "Good to see you _can _handle yourself." He whispered, voice hoarse.

Alice walked over and leaned forward to press a soft kiss to his lips. "What happened?" she asked when she pulled away and sat beside him.

"The winds showed up with some of my own clockwork monsters." Hatter shook his head. "I designed them to be the perfect fighters, heartless killing machines… I never thought I'd be the one to fight them." He sighed and touched his face.

"How bad is it?" Alice gingerly next to him.

"Bad enough…"

Alice felt her eyes beginning to water.

"Alice," Hare reached out with his free hand and touched her arm, "don't cry. We're alive, isn't that something to be happy about?" he cocked his head to the side and smiled.

"It is." Alice agreed. She smiled.

"What happened to you?" Hatter asked.

"Edu came in, I threw a bowl at him. Jumped out your bedroom window. Lost him in the woods and ran into Bill who took me to his house."

Hatter flinched at the name.

"What?"

"Alice, Bill hates me." He said simply.

"Why?"

"Mary-Ann was placed in the hospital, she was one of the first Clockworks I ever made." Pain made his face seem very old.

Alice closed her eyes. "H-he didn't say anything about that."

"He wouldn't." Hare said simply. "He wouldn't want anyone else to feel sad or hurt because something bad happened to him."

White walked over and sat down with a heavy sigh. He looked at Alice, "You can handle yourself, I'll give you that." He wasn't wearing his mask, and he was smiling.

Alice snorted, "I cried like a baby." She admitted.

"Alice, it takes guts to jump out a window," White said.

"He's right."

Alice's head snapped around and she stared at Hearts, "Did you two make up?" she teased.

Hearts sighed, "Yes. And you'll do well to call me by my given name." She said darkly.

Alice snorted, "Yes, Ms. Rose."

Rose smiled simply, she looked over at White and shook her head. "You like this brat?"

White smiled, "I'm fond of her," he admitted. He reached his hand up.

Rose reached down and took it, a look was shared between them. White's eyes sparkled with delight.

Alice smiled, she looked around the room and found Cheshire sitting near the window, staring outside with a look of horror on his face.

Alice pushed away from her place between Hare and Hatter and walked to the window. "What…" she stopped talk and felt her knees give out, she slumped to the floor beside Cheshire, her arms resting on his legs.

Cheshire reached down, "Alice, it's not over, you can't give up."

Alice closed her eyes and lowered her head onto his leg.

The snow was falling outside the window.

--

EN: There you have it, the surprise of a lifetime. They all have normal names! Oh, and I could smack you guys for not figuring out the twins secret a couple chapters ago. I was waiting for someone to say it and no one did. Sob. So, if you want a fun fact, google the names for all the meanings. They fit as closely to the characters as I could get, all but Cheshire, Cheshire's name is the name of my favorite vampire in the Anita Blake books, heh.

I also love, love, love, White's name. It's one of my personal favorites.

And yes, I couldn't leave out Bill the lizard and Mary-Ann. I'm smiling here, just grinning because I know the whole backstory for those two. I'll write it out and post it in Twisted Rose. To keep an eye on that! lol.

Read, Review, get loves.

You know you wanna review.

Come on, click it.

I order you to click it!

Click, Click, Click...

Oh, and check out my LJ for some random fun facts about this story, and a very twisted Alice style story. Heh.


	13. Chapter 13

**AN: I've had a sucky day today. Went with my Pregnant sister to the doctors. They think something is wrong with the baby, wont know until she sees a specialist. My sister's tough, she always has been, watching her break down was hard on me. So I think it's effected the mood of this chapter.**

**I'm going to leave you with a wicked cliffhanger also. I wasn't sure about this chapter. I felt it moved a little fast for my taste, but there's so much to fit in.  
A notice. The last chapter is coming up next. But there will be a epilogue for you to enjoy. Just so you know lol.**

**Read, review, get luvs**

* * *

Chapter Thirteen.  
--

Cheshire moved off the window-seat and picked Alice up, holding her gently against his chest. "Alice." He sighed, shaking his head in tired amusement.

"Cheshire," Mock said softly, stepping forward to lay his hand on the other man's arm, "She needs sleep." He stared at the snow and sighed. "She needs time…"

Cheshire nodded and carried Alice up the stairs, carefully balancing with her.

The room he'd been staying in was small, the bed barely held both of them when he laid her down and laid beside her. He kissed her forehead and sighed. "Alice," he whispered. "We'll be fine, we'll be ok." He repeated it until he fell asleep beside her.

--

Alice woke to a pair of warm arms wrapped around her. she was grateful for their warmth because the air outside the arms and the blanket was icy, she could see her breathe floating through the air like puffy white clouds.

'It's snowing,' she thought, closing her eyes, it was so tempting to go to sleep again. What did that mean? All her dreams said that if she didn't save wonderland before the snow fell… they would all lose. Game over.

Game…

Was that what this was? was it all some twisted, mocking game.

Alice carefully slid out from Cheshire's arms. She looked at him and smiled. Leaning down, she pressed a soft kiss to his cheek. 'My prince charming,' she thought.

She got up and walked to the window. Her eyes stared down at the fluffy white stuff that covered the ground.

She'd never liked snow. It was bothersome and wet and cold… oh there were so many reasons she didn't like snow. But this snow filled her with dread. This snow was the fuzz that comes on the screen as the game you've been playing for weeks on end crashes and you loose all the data.

'I don't want to lose,' Alice thought, gripping the edge of the window. She closed her eyes and leaned her head forward against the cold glass, shivering she lifted her head and stared at her own reflection.

Her eyes looked so sad, dripping with tears. Her skin looked so pale in the glass, her nose was red and angry looking, and her eyes were puffy. There were some girls who looked pretty when they cried, she was so not one of them.

She blinked as a reflection joined hers. Cheshire's handsome face just over her shoulder, looking insanely perfect. He leaned forward and kissed her shoulder. "You need a coat," he whispered.

Alice nodded. "I'm sorry," she said, leaning her head back.

Cheshire shook his head, "Don't." he hissed, "Don't be sorry for something that isn't your fault. You've done everything we asked of you." He closed his eyes.

Alice giggled, "Cheshire… I was saying sorry for passing out on you," she shook her head.

Cheshire blinked, his eyelids tickling her shoulder. "Oh." He laughed and his grin fell back into place. He looked so much better with the grin, without it his face was so pain filled and sad that Alice would become a clown just to see him smile.

Alice reached up and laid her hands on his face, her head tilted backwards to look up at him.

Cheshire glanced down. "What are you thinking?" he asked.

Alice grinned, "You can't tell?"

"No… I know it's something evil."

Alice chuckled, she rose up a little and kissed his mouth. "Hmmm, evil is one word… I guess." She turned around and pressed herself against the front of his body, eyes sparkling, her hands tugging lightly at the bottom of his shirt.

Cheshire's breathe caught and his hands came to rest on her waist, "Ah, very, very evil." He whispered, pulling her closer.

Alice smiled and shivered. His normally warm body was suddenly hotter than before, she could feel the heat rolling off his skin, it was amazing that he wasn't steaming.

There was a cough from the doorway. "I'm sorry – Hatter needs you!" Hare chuckled and closed the door.

Alice looked up at Cheshire and cursed under her breathe.

Cheshire sighed and stepped away. "I'm holding you too this… later."

"So am I," Alice added. Sighing loudly.

--

Hatter was obviously fighting a smile whenever he looked at Cheshire's frustrated face. He looked at Alice and shook his head in amusement.

Alice gave him the look she knew said 'I'm going to kill you later'.

"Well, now that we're all here," Hatter began. "I have interesting news."

Alice laid her head on Cheshire's shoulder, "Is it good news?" she asked.

"The Duchess was found murdered, hung on a tree." Hatter smiled, showing teeth.

Alice cocked her head, "Dead…" she looked at Mock, his face carefully blank. "That is good news. Do we know who helped her on her way?"

"There were two caps lying on the ground near her, I'll give you one guess."

"The twins," Alice breathed, realizing that she'd passed out before telling Rose and White what she'd found out. She looked at White, there was nothing in his eyes to say that he already knew.

"Correct. I can only wonder what the old hag said to piss them off enough."

"I have an pretty good guess," Alice breathed. "She looked at White and Rose. "Bill told me that the twins were raised by gnomes…"

White's eyes grew wide, he closed his eyes and slumped forward, burying his face into his hands. "I-I never knew…"

Rose whimpered and clung to the edge of White's shirt, "You're sure?" she whispered. "They…"

"They have wonderland blood," Alice explained, "they aged faster than a normal child." She said that because children were rare in wonderland, Rose might never have seen a wonderland child.

Rose looked to White who slowly nodded his head. "She's correct, we reach out mature age quickly and then we stay the same age… or at least that was how it worked before." He looked at Alice in faint amusement.

Alice smiled weakly. "Sorry 'bout that."

"Well, you think the Duchess told the twins about their parents?" Hatter said, looking at Alice.

Alice nodded. "Seems likely. How upset would they be if they realized they'd been hurting their own parents…" she shook her head.

"Or they think we abandoned them…" Rose closed her eyes. White reached out and smoothed his hands over her face. "It'll be fine," he whispered.

Alice looked up at Cheshire, who looked down at her and smiled. It was strange, watching them interact together was like seeing a fast forward version of herself and Cheshire, it made her feel comfortable, even though White and Rose had gone through their share of troubles.

Hatter sighed and held his hand up, "Whatever the cause of their actions, the twins are still on the list of known enemies, there is no changing that yet." He looked at White, a sad gleam in his eyes. "But without the Duchess to order them around, half the Queen's army is not going to listen to her. This is the perfect moment to stage our attack."

"When?" Alice questioned.

"Today."

Alice closed her eyes and tightened her grip on Cheshire's hand. "Is that wise?" she asked.

"We've been ready for days now, and the moment is perfect, the Queen shouldn't know about the Duchess's death just yet, she's still counting on her aid."

"And the snow?"

"It's a minor problem." Hare said, "We'll work around it."

Alice nodded. She closed he eyes and opened them, gazing at Caterpillar across the room. "What do you think about all this?" she asked.

"I think… that Hatter is right, the moment is perfect, more perfect than we could ever have hoped for." His eyes closed and he pinched the bridge of his nose. "But I have something to add to the plan. Hatter, you intend to take the troops and fight hand to hand, right?"

"More or less."

"I say that you allow me to take Alice with me, we'll wait until most of the forces are taken down and then I will lead her to the tower of Mirrors. The power force from those mirrors should be enough to end the queen's control for good."

A thick silence fell over the room. They all knew that the only way the doors would open was if the true wonderland ruler placed his or her hand against the panel.

"No." Cheshire shook his head. "It's too risky, I don't want her-"

Alice reached up and pressed her finger lightly against his mouth, "Don't pull that, I'm capable of taking care of myself." She looked at Caterpillar, "I say yes."

Hatter sighed, "You could die," he said.

"I know."

Cheshire cursed under his breathe. "Alice, this is… this is insane!" he shook his head. "I wont let you do this!"

"That's the thing, Cheshire." Alice said, turning to look at him. "You don't control me." She looked at him sharply.

Cheshire stared into her eyes for a couple seconds. A thick silence stretched over them. "Fine." He said at last. "But I go with you."

"No." Hatter said, "We need you on the front lines."

Alice nodded her head, "He's right, Cheshire, and you know it."

"Alice…" Cheshire sighed.

"Do you not trust me to take care of her?" Caterpillar questioned.

"You've always been more of a learner than a fighter." Cheshire whispered.

Caterpillar sighed. "Cheshire, I can magic, can you say that about yourself? Other than your ability to vanish?"

Cheshire shook his head. "No, I can't say I have anything special." He glanced at Alice, "You're sure?"

"I'm sure."

"Fine." Cheshire looked at Hatter. "When do we leave?"

"As soon as Alice is dressed."

--

Dressed turned out to be wearing a thick leather vest, gloves, and a new pair of boots that went up to her knees. She stared at the people who were mustering in front of an orb sight. vanishing every couple seconds.

Caterpillar held her arm. "We'll orb to the forest, and when Hatter sends up the flare we'll orb as close to the gates as possible." He explained.

Alice nodded. "You've told me all this already." She said.

"Just reminding you." Caterpillar said chuckled.

Alice smiled and laid her head against his shoulder. "I should be nervous but I'm not."

"Why?"

"Because, either we do this and die, or we don't do it and die anyway." She shrugged, "either way, charging in, or waiting, we'll probably die."

"Or we win," Hare said, resting his hand on the top of her head. "don't forget that, miss Queen."

Alice snorted, "Or we win against all odds."

--

"Ready?"

Hatter looked at Alice, he reached out and smoothed his hand along her face. "Take care of yourself," he reminded her.

"I know." Alice smiled.

Caterpillar took her arm, held the orb out in front of him. "Ready?"

Alice looked at Cheshire, who had his back to her. "Ready as I'm ever going to be." She whispered.

Cheshire turned, tears dripped down his cheeks. He raised one hand. 'Bye' he mouthed.

'Bye,' Alice mouthed back. She blew him a kiss. He pretended to catch it and tuck it into his pocket.

Caterpillar squeezed his hand and the orb broke in a shower of sparks.

Alice felt the sensation of being forced into a small box.

_You are strong enough. _

Alice blinked, she turned her head and saw a sparkling light in the distance. It was warm and bright. Happy almost.

Suddenly everything slid into focus and she was on the grass just inside a clearing. She blinked her eyes open and stared out over the fields of the heartlands. And the army that was already waiting.

"No…" she trailed off and looked at Caterpillar, "They knew!"

"Someone betrayed us…" Caterpillar cursed under his breathe and started to stand.

"Someone?"

Alice turned and stared into Mock's sad eyes. "Mock?"

Mock drew out his sword. "I'm sorry about this, Alice, but… we needed to get you close to the castle. You're going to open the mirror room and our queen will be able to leave." He smiled strangely.

Alice backed up and pressed herself against Caterpillar, who'd already drawn a small sword. "How could you…"

"Gryphon and I were always friends Alice, did you really think I would side against him?"

Alice narrowed her eyes. "I should have figured that one out…" she chuckled, "what'd you do with the twins?"

Mock smiled, "They're… hanging around."

Caterpillar cursed. "You're going to use them to hinder White."

"Correct," Mock laughed again. "And without White, you're group is already dead. They wont know what to do, and they're going to be lambs before the lion."

Alice grabbed the orb from Caterpillar's pocket. "We have to warn them."

Caterpillar's head snapped up and he shoved Alice out of the way.

Alice stumbled to the ground, she rolled and managed to get back onto her feet. But her breathe whooshed out of her when she saw the sight in front of her. "No… no!" she screamed.

Caterpillar stepped back slowly. He pressed his hand to his chest and closed his eyes before dropping to his knees. Blood flooded between his finger types. "Alice…" he looked at her, "Run."

"Caterpillar!" she started to move toward him.

"Damn it Alice, RUN!"

Mock turn toward Alice. "You can't run, Alice. You've failed! Wonderland will die and it'll be your fault!" he reached his hand out to her, "Please, save us!"

Alice pictured that dark place, that room with the moving, horrible air. She squeezed the orb and vanished. The last sight she saw was Mock reaching out to her with his bloody hands, and Caterpillar fully slumping to the ground, face hidden from view.

Her feet slammed into the soft dirt. She fell forward, sobbing. She dropped to her knees and buried her face into her hands.

"You smell like blood,"

Alice lifted her head and looked into the darkness. "He-he's dead." She sobbed, "M-my fault."

"Did you kill him?" The Jabberwock sounded amused.

Alice shook her head, "No!" she cried. "No!"

"Than why is it your fault?"

Alice felt something brushing against her face, curiously she reached out and laid her hand against the thing touching her. it felt sooth against her hand, almost soft, and cold. It didn't feel like a hand, but it wasn't inhuman either.

There was the sound of someone's breathe catching. A male sound.

Alice dropped her hand. "Sorry," she whispered.

"Why is it your fault?"

"Because I-I should've seen this coming, I should've known Mock was a spy."

"You had no way of knowing, do not place blame where it is not needed."

"What do I do?" Alice asked, she shook with the sobs that threatened to spill from her mouth.

"You fight."

"How?"

"With this."

Alice flinched as a hand grabbed a hold of her hand and squeezed. For a second she didn't understand, and then she felt it. Burning, her arm was burning! It spread from her fingertips all the way up her arm and into her chest. She screamed mindlessly, thrashing on the ground.

Finally it was over. She lay there on the ground, feeling the weight of someone on top of her. A mouth was near her ear. "Wonderland is dead, but there is still a chance, if you're willing to take it."

Alice nodded weakly, "Tell me…" she pleaded.

"Break the mirrors."

Alice's eyes widened, she looked into the glowing yellow eyes. "But…"

"The mirrors are a power unlike anything ever seen before, once broken, they will restore wonderland… but there is a price you'll find out soon." The body moved off of her and she was finally able to sit up.

"How do I get back?"

Something landed in her hand, a blue orb. "Go."

Alice didn't hesitated, "To the castle?" she questioned.

"Yes."

Alice nodded. She squeezed the orb again and the floor fell away.

--

Bang.

Her back slammed into the hard tile floor. She sat up quickly and stumbled to her feet. She stared at the Card Guards standing there. One of them stared at Alice for a second before springing forward.

Alice flung her hand out, she felt the heat pour down her arm and into her finger tips. The moment the man touched her arm, something strange happened.

His nose started bleeding. He let go of her and reached a hand up to touch his nose. He looked at Alice in confusion.

Alice realized her hand was in a holding shape. She could feel something pulsing in it. It felt like holding something that wasn't there. She squeezed every so slightly. The blood from the mans nose began to drip faster. He stumbled back and pressed his hands against his face, trying to stop the flow.

Alice noticed the other guards backing away, whispering something about blood. She squeezed harder and harder.

Blood began to pour out of his nose, spilling around his fingers. He dropped to his knees and started coughing, blood gushed from his mouth, dripping from his eyes like bloody tears, and began to run out of his ears as well.

Alice felt the thing in her hand stutter. She gave one last squeeze and felt it shatter.

The man's eyes widened, he screamed and slumped forward. Blood poured from his body, pooling around him. his eyes were empty.

Alice swallowed, scared. She looked at the blank lines that marked her hand and arm. The other guards were gone.

She started down the hallway, stepping over the guards body. She doubted she'd be able to handle a group of them, but they were scared of what she could do. That was always a plus.

The throne room loomed before her. Part of her wanted to leave off and go to the tower. But she couldn't. The Queen had to be taken care of.

The doors opened.

Gryphon smiled brightly. "That hand of blood," he commented, as easily as if he were talking about the weather.

He was striking. White hair fell around his face, boyishly cut. His skin was grayish and his ears were pointed. He was born from the matching of a human Raven and a Lady from the wastes.

He'd had wings, at one time, but like Mock and his shell, Gryphon had lost his wings to the Duchess's twisted actions.

"Gryphon…" Alice breathed his name. She stepped forward without thinking. "Wh-why are you doing this?"

"Because Alice," Gryphon leaned against the door frame. "I listen to the one who helped make me real. You never planned me, you know, someone else created me and named me."

"Gryphon… wonderland exists with or without me." Alice said, shaking her head. "You were here before I was even born."

"Yes, I was. I was created by someone else, Alice, and she is the one I obey." Gryphon stood straight and gestured inside the room. "Come and meet her, you'll like her I think. We'll both like her."

Alice frowned. She looked into the soft blue eyes, sparkling with delight. He looked like he really believed what he was saying. Slowly she stepped forward. She kept her eyes on his claws, but they were still held within the skin of his hands.

Gryphon smiled and stepped inside the room, just in front of her. "She's here," he called out. sounding happy. "She's come home at last."

Alice's frown deepened. She slowly stepped into the room. For one long moment, she simply stared across the room at the woman who sat in the throne.

She was beautiful, eyes a soft color, hair brown and curled, it bounced around her shoulders when she moved her head to look at Alice. Suddenly she smiled, her eyes lit up. "Alice!" she cried.

"M-mom?"

---

EN: I warned you ahead of time lol. Next chapter will be posted as soon as I can get it fine tuned. Any mistakes in this chapter, please point them out to me so I can fix them. It's hard writing such long chapters. And I've reached the limit on brain power today. So, reviews are very nice and welcomed!


	14. Final

**AN: Well my friends, we have come to the end. It feels both wonderful, and very bitter sweet. I can't write a long AN because I've got to things to do, and most of them have to do with Christmas eve dinner. Also, an update on my sister. There is something wrong with the baby. Alexis (my unborn niece,) has a problem, which means the things in her chest, (Lungs, heart,) have shifted and her organs are now up in her chest. **

**She's going to be born two weeks early at a hospital in Tampa. I'm nervous for my sister. I know this will break her heart if anything goes wrong. So please give some prayers (if you do that stuff,) her way. Thank you!**

**Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye!**

* * *

Chapter Fourteen

--

"Mom?" Alice repeated, stumbling forward. Her eyes were wide, her chest suddenly felt tight, and she knew she was about to burst into tears. It was her mother standing there, dressed in a beautiful black dress that swept the floor, swirling around her legs. A red corset was around her stomach and chest. Black, lacy gloves went to her shoulders. Her brown hair was darker than Alice remembered, it was done in ringlets that bounced around as she moved. Her eyes were green and sparkled brightly as she looked at Alice. Her skin was pale white, the color of skin that only those who were born in Wonderland could have.

Or those who'd spent enough time here.

"Alice," Crystal, whispered, holding out her hand. "My sweet little Alice,"

Alice stumbled forward, almost falling as her knees threatened to buckle. All thought's of fear and loathing were forgotten, she didn't remember that this woman was the 'evil' queen that she'd been fighting against, all she saw was her mother standing there.  
She moved forward until she met her mother at the bottom of the steps that led up to the dais where the throne was kept. She sobbed when those willowy arms curled themselves around her.

"Mom… you're dead," Alice hide her face against her mother's shoulder.

"No," Crystal whispered stoking her fingers down her daughter's cheek, letting the black nails leave tiny white trails. "I'm right here, I'm right here." She kissed Alice's hair, smiling ever so slightly.

Alice lifted her head and looked into her eyes. "I saw… I saw you're body, I watched them bury you!" she shook her head and pushed away. "I know you died!"

"In that world, but I'm alive in wonderland…" Crystal smiled and cocked her head, "didn't they tell you?"

Alice slowly shook her head. "No…" she whispered. She thought of the words that Cheshire had first said, about adults in wonderland.

_"It's not a true death." Cheshire had said. "It's the death of their entire childhood. They will never be able to visit wonderland again once they've been drained of that amount of power it takes to destroy someone's dreams. It's a very adult thing to do." They way he'd looked at her, so sad, and so judgmental._

He'd known. He'd known all along that Alice's own mother was the person destroying wonderland.

Alice shook her head, "You've destroyed wonderland" she snapped.

"Wonderland destroyed me!" Crystal snapped back, "They killed me, Alice, they took me from my home, my life!"

Alice eye's widened. "What?"

"Ah, they really didn't tell you a thing did they?" Crystal chuckled and walked towards the windows that overlooked the battlefield outside the gates. "They didn't tell you that when you left they began searching for a new queen, and they decided, with Gryphon's help I might add," she gave him a seething look, to which he lowered his head. "that I would make a good queen, because I had helped you create what wonderland had become, a beautiful, wholesome place where nobody ever hurts." She chuckled darkly.

"They made me sick Alice, they killed me to bring me here!" she rounded on Alice, "The same way they'll kill you to keep you here!" she pointed at Alice, "Don't you see, they're a selfish lot, they only want to keep the ones they like or the ones they need. Your body is still alive, you can still go home, but they've been telling you lies, haven't they? They've told you that you're trapped. You're stuck." She chuckled, "They told me the same thing, up until the day my body died. I saw your father's face, Anna's face, but not yours… you weren't there…" she closed her eyes. "Why weren't you there?"

"I couldn't watch you die…" Alice looked away and toward Gryphon, saw the raw pain on his face. "Is this true?" she asked.

"Yes. We killed her to trap her here as our new queen…" Gryphon whispered. He looked at Alice and sighed. "It is the same thing we did to Rose, and it's the same thing that White has done to you. If you don't use the looking glasses to return home your body will wither and die, you'll be trapped here forever, never aging, never dying… simply living a lie."

Alice's knees gave out and she slumped to the floor. She stared blankly at the floor for a moment until a black swirl of fabric in her line of sight made her lift her head. Her mother reached down and cupped her chin. "It's not too late," she whispered, "We'll make them all pay for this, you can return home!"

"Why did you take the dream energy?" she asked softly, pulling free from her mother's hold.

Crystal sighed and turned so quickly that the fabric of her dress swirled against Alice's arms. She walked quickly and grabbed a hold of Gryphon's chin, jerking his face closer to her own. "Because, Alice dear, the only way to kill these creatures is to destroy the world they live in." she chuckled and turned her head to look at Alice. "They all should die."

Alice stood slowly, arms hanging limply at her sides. She lifted her head and looked at her mother's eyes, so alike to her own. Finally she spoke, her words empty and pain filled. "You're not my mother, you can't be my mother! my mother helped me create wonderland, she wouldn't destroy it! and… I will do my best to save the world that I created with my mother!" she screamed the last part and raised her hand.

Gryphon put himself in the way of the hot energy coming off of her hand. "Alice!" he screamed as blood began to flow down his nose and chin. He reached up and touched it.

Alice drew back, releasing the energy.

"You can't hurt any of them… can you?" Crystal chuckled, she reached up and jerked Gryphon back by his hair. He collapsed at her feet, his hand reaching up to grab a hold his own hair, bloody tears dripping down his face. "Please," he begged.

Crystal reached into the tie of her dress and drew out a dagger. "Silly," she whispered, lowering her hand until the point of the knife rested against Gryphon's gray skin, the tip of it drawing a little more blood.

Alice looked at Gryphon, who had something in his eyes, an unspoken question, or plea. "Gryphon… why protect her?" she asked blankly.

"Because… she made me who I am!" Gryphon hissed through the pain. He was breathing quickly, his chest moving up and down in quick secession.

"Would you die for her?" Alice asked, her voice was suddenly very soft. She looked into his eyes and stared, waiting to see his answer.

"Yes."

Alice closed her eyes and breathed slowly. "Then… die." She raised her hand and squeezed. She felt the beating of his heart, watched the pain cross his face. His eyes widened, he reached up and laid his hand against his heart and slowly he looked down at it. The bloody tears ran down his face and dripped onto his hand. A slow, hesitant smile formed over his lips and his eyes closed, real tears were mixed in with the blood.

Crystal cursed and jerked her hand back, leaving his neck uncut. "What a waste!" she snapped in a very childish way. She threw his body from her as if he were suddenly a broken toy that she didn't need anymore.

Alice waited until the fluttering heart stopped beating before she raised her head. "No life is a waste, mother, it's special and unique to each person. Each person lives their life as they will, and they should have the chance to live it from start to finish. To take it from them as I just did is a selfish and sinful thing. I will not forgive myself for it. I am not like you, I cannot destroy the people I love." She smiled, "you should have treated him better, mother, because he was the only thing standing between us. I'm going to kill you… because you're already dead."

"Alice!" Crystal reached her hands out, pleading. "I'm your mother… perhaps I was a little… rash… selfish even… but I love you!" her eyes began to water.

Alice stared at the woman and shook her head slowly. "My mother is dead… you are not her anymore, you are just a ghost. My mother loved wonderland, she helped me record each trip to wonderland, and she even said she wished she could go there. I used to imagine that when she died… that she did come to wonderland, that she finally got to share a tea party with my insane Hatter, and March, and even Dormy with his sleepy smile." Alice shook her head, "I know she'd love wonderland and care for it, and each tiny flower that bloomed. You destroy and murder each thing that makes wonderland my world. You ordered Mock to kill a man that I loved. You forced my hand and made me strike another of my friends down… right now, for all I know, my true love is lying dead in that field. My mother would never want to cause me pain…"

Crystal shook her head, "Alice, you don't understand what you're saying! They took me from you!" she screamed, dropping to her knees, her skirt spreading around her, parts of it soaking up the blood.

"I understand enough, I understand that you only want to hurt people… to make them suffer because you believe that you suffered… and I know that I suffered because of your choices. You are dead to me, Mother, even if you were her… you aren't anymore…" Alice sighed and focused her gaze on the past face. "If only you weren't who you are… we could've been very happy… in wonderland… together…" she sent out the power and felt it latch on, felt the bird like fluttering of her mother's heart. "Die." She squeezed her hand as hard as she could.

There was a moment, when Alice watched the wide, shocked expression fill those eyes, where the anger and bitterness fell away, that she saw her mother gazing back at her. instantly she released her grip, but from the faint fluttering she'd just felt, she knew it was too late to undo what she'd gone.

She ran forward, catching her mother before she hit the ground. "Mom!"

Crystal smiled faintly and reached up, "I-I wanted so badly for it to stop hurting… I-I let m-myself forget who I was… I didn't want to be myself anymore." She closed her eyes and took a shuddering breath. When she opened her eyes again, she was fully crying. "T-thank you, my Alice, you m-made me remember who I really am…." She paused again to take another breath. "I'm sorry…"

Alice held her mother, tears dripping down her face. "M-mom… I…" she didn't know what to say. She wasn't sorry, the woman she'd attacked hadn't been her mother, but this woman was. It was as if they were two sides to the same coin, much like White was with his split personality thing. She reached down and touched her mother's blood stained face. "I don't want you to go," she whispered.

A smile moved over the former queen's lips. "I've already gone," she whispered, "I'm only a ghost in this world."

Alice closed her eyes and lowered her head to her mother's face, "Please," she begged, "I don't want to lose you again!"

"Goodbye… my Alice,"

Alice lifted her head, eyes wide as she watched her mother take a shaky, shallow breath, and suddenly it flowed out of her, leaving her empty and lifeless. Alice stared for a long time. "Goodbye," she finally whispered.

--

It was sometime before the sound of footsteps made Alice aware that she was no longer alone in the room.

"Alice…"

Alice lifted her head. "I thought…" she trailed off as she started in Caterpillar's eyes.

He studied the scene before him and nodded slowly, "You were meant to think I was dead… Mock… thought it would weaken you, but he didn't realize that I have my own brand of magic."

"Yeah," Alice said blankly. She turned away from him.

"I'm sorry," Caterpillar walked over and dropped to his knees beside her. He reached out and wrapped his arm around her shoulders, his head resting against her cheek. "I'm so sorry," he was crying now.

Alice didn't say anything for a moment, "Why did you do this to her?" she whispered.

"W-we didn't know what would happen…" Caterpillar admitted, "We thought it would be like it was when we brought you here… but it wasn't. She was sick. So sick. I-I knew her body was dying, because a body cannot live without a soul. White transplanted a lesser soul into it, hoping that it would sustain her body but it failed… When her body died she changed into this person, cruel and unable to care." He broke off into weak sobs.

Alice reached one of her blood hands up and laid it against his hands. "Did you intend to kill me?" she questioned.

"We're selfish, Alice," Hatter said from the doorway. He was leaning heavily on the doorframe, his leg sliced open. Hare was supporting him as well as he could.

"I'll take that as a yes." She closed her eyes and looked at her mother. "You destroyed my whole world," she whispered, knowing they would understand. "You took my mother from me, stole me from my own world, asked me to save your own, and then you planned to let me die… let me become a monster like this." Anger filled her and she pushed Caterpillar away from her, she laid her mother's head carefully on the floor and stood. She marched over to White, who'd just joined the group. She drew back her hand and slapped him across the face. "You bastard!"

White flinched back. Shock overcoming all other emotions. "A-Alice." He stuttered.

"Don't tell me you didn't have a part to play in this!"

White lowered his eyes, "I've had a part to play in taking every queen from their home, and implanting the false souls… to give us more time." He dropped to his knees in front of her. "I'm sorry… my queen."

Alice would have hit him again if she hadn't seen Cheshire standing there. "Did you know what they planned?" she demanded.

"I did," Cheshire nodded, "But that doesn't mean I agreed with it. It doesn't mean that what I feel for you is false or-"

"Everything you've spoken to me in this world is based on a lie, Cheshire, everything all of you have said is a bunch of bullshit lies!" She spun around and walked away from them, bringing her hand up to cover her mouth.

They'd tricked her, they'd lied to her… they'd ruined everything. And yet… she loved them. She loved Cheshire's wicked grin, Hatter's insane love of tea and hats, Hare's cooking, Caterpillar's goofy smile, even Dormy's laughter.

"I told them it was a bad idea," said Dormouse laughed.

Alice turned and looked at him for a moment, "At least someone had a brain," she whispered.

Dormouse walked over to her, a look on his face. "It's not too late…" he whispered. "You can still go home, the soul has been keeping your body alive… but it'll die today when there is no power left in wonderland." He looked at the snow storm that raged outside.

Alice watched the snow for a moment, "What'll happen to you guys?" she asked suddenly.

Caterpillar sighed from his place on the floor, "It doesn't matter, Alice, we've caused you enough grief for one lifetime…" he smiled faintly. "Go home,"

Those two words were echoed by all, even Cheshire.

Alice looked into his lilac eyes. "I can't… I can't leave you!" she snapped, she flung her arms around his neck.

Cheshire wrapped his arms tightly around her and shook his head. "You have to, I won't allow you to stay here and die!" he snapped, he pushed her away and held her face in his hands. "I wont let you die here Alice, in this cold empty place!" he grabbed her arm and started dragging her behind him.

"W-where are we going?" Alice demanded, struggling to keep up with him.

"The Looking Glass tower," Cheshire answered.

"I said I'm not leaving!" Alice snapped.

"Yes," Cheshire said crossly, "You are!"

"You're such a jerk!"

--

Alice waited until they all stood in the hallway of the tower. She turned to Caterpillar and stared into his eyes. "The Jabberwock told me to break the mirrors, that there was enough power inside them to restore wonderland." So the last part wasn't true, but Alice was hoping that that would be the ending.

Caterpillar closed his eyes. "When one of the mirror's broke… over a hundred years ago, the resulting power surge created at least two new lands, with fully formed people. Wonderland's main city was also created. We built the castle to insure that no mirror would ever break again." He sighed, "I can't believe I'm about to tell you to break them," he laughed loudly.

Cheshire stepped forward and touched his fingers to Alice's face. "The mirror's are your only way home, Alice, if you break them you can never leave." He looked sad, angry, and depressed.

Alice closed her eyes. She thought about everything that had just happened. Thought about having to destroy her mother, even if it was just a ghostly memory, and that was what she believed it to be, she could never admit to herself that it had been her mother she killed.

She thought about her father, probably sitting beside a hospital bed, watching his daughter die the same way he'd watched his wife die. How many months had passed in her own world? How long had she been away?

Would she be able to go back to her old life anyway? The idea of stepping back into a pair of shoes she'd long imagined impossible to wear, it frightened her beyond belief. She didn't want her old life back. She wanted to keep this strangely wonderful life. She wanted to stay with the people she'd come to love, even if they were a set of devious assholes.

Alice lifted her head, reached her hand up and touched Cheshire's cheek. She leaned forward and kissed him, kissed him in a way that was both the first kiss, and the last kiss. "I don't know what'll happen, but I know that right now… right now I'm happy. I know that I love you, even if you are an ass, and that spending whatever time I'll have left in this life will be well worth it." she sighed. "I look and White and Rose, and I know that not everyone turns out like my mother. My mother wasn't with to someone like Rose and I are, so maybe… maybe that's what it takes. I don't know, but I'd rather do it and find out that I was wrong than not do it at all and never known. I made a promise to myself, I promised that I would protect wonderland, and I will do so… even if I die doing it."

Cheshire nodded slowly, his lilac eyes shimmered with tears. "Damn, aren't you the one supposed to be crying?" he asked, wiping his eyes quickly with the back of his hand.

Alice wiped her own eyes. "I am crying, stupid." She muttered.

Hatter and Caterpillar exchanged looks. "We don't know what will happen to the people in the room when the mirror's break." He sounded scared. "You might be lost, Alice, are you prepared for that?"

Alice nodded. "I said I'm ready for whatever left throws at me, and I meant it," she held out a hand to Caterpillar, who took it gently. "Don't worry about me. If everything works out and wonderland is saved, than my life will be lived perfectly. I got to come back here, and I got to fall madly in love with someone. That is all I could have asked for." And, she added to herself, I got to say goodbye to mom.

"You're not thinking I'm going to let you go alone, now are you?" Cheshire said sharply. "If you're going to die, than I'm going to be right beside you. Are bond means that we are together forever. And before you point out that I have no reason to be with you, our bond means that if one of us dies, the other dies too. I will not have you dying alone, and I don't want to die alone either."

"Have any of you thought about, oh I dunno, the fact that this might all work out as a happily ever after?" Dormouse said from beside Hatter. He had Hatter's other arm and was supporting him.

Alice sighed and chuckled. "I don't want to get my hopes up, Dormy, but I would very much like a happily ever after." She turned and looked at Cheshire, "I should like it very much."

Cheshire nodded his head, "Maybe we'll get one, maybe not. But we'll be together. Is that a good enough ending?"

Alice laughed, "It is a perfect ending in my book."

"is this all your book?" Hare asked.

"Someday I might record it, but now, it's happening as we go. I don't know the ending any better than any of you do." Alice said, shaking her head. "Just as I still don't know the answer to Hatter's riddle."

Hatter laughed, "I don't know it either, when… when this is all said and done, we'll make an answer together. At a tea party of course."

Alice smiled, "and Time shall be there to help with it, and we wont keep having to move down. And perhaps I'll finally be able to drink some tea without Hare trying to steal it from me."

"and perhaps my watch will be free of breadcrumbs." White snorted. He reached out and touched Alice's cheek. "I'm holding you to this tea party, Alice, you must promise you wont be late."

Alice saw the raw pain in his gaze. "I'll try." She whispered, kissing him softly. She stepped back into Cheshire's arms and turned toward the heavily locked door.

"I, Alice, Queen of wonderland, ask you to allow me and mine passage." Alice said.

The locks began to click open. Finally it swung open.

Alice looked into the inside of the room and saw… nothing. "It's… so dark." She whispered.

"The whole room is a mirror," Caterpillar explained. "Mirrors reflect eternity," he sighed and closed his eyes. "One of the few reasons that the mirrors are so useful is that when one steps inside the room the mirrors show themselves into eternity and it shows all possible outcomes of a persons life. They are double edged though, they'll show all possible outcomes, even those leading to death and failure. But they also so life and happiness. If one reads them right they can live a life of peace and happiness, but knowing everything is dangerous indeed." He trailed off and looked at Alice, "I would never have wished this path on you when we first met, I would never have asked you as our young queen to come to this room and see your whole future"

"It is a fate that we don't wish on any of the young queens," Hatter said, adding his two bits. "Rose herself didn't see the mirror room until she had been in wonderland almost twenty years." He looked at Alice, panic raw on his face. "I… I don't want to loose you." He admitted.

Cheshire reached out and laid his hand on Hatter's arm. "I'll look after her," he whispered.

Hatter and Cheshire shared a look, one that Alice couldn't quite understand. It was almost as if, for the first time, Hatter was giving up his place in Alice's life. He was finally saying 'Ok, I understand, she's yours, take care of her'.

Alice closed her eyes and smiled. "Cheshire… can we do this before I chicken out?" she whispered, it was for his ears only.

Cheshire nodded, he removed his hand from Hatter's arm and took Alice's hand.

They all stood there in the hallway. And Alice looked into each of their faces, memorizing each little detail. She didn't want to ever forget how wonderful they were, how insanely beautiful… and just how much she loved each of them.

"I…" Alice swallowed, "I love you all," she bowed and lifted her head to look at them all. "Thank you for everything you've done for me."

Caterpillar lost it, he started laughing. "Alice, we've messed up your life. You should have lived a long, happy life in your own world and we took that from you," he had tears in his eyes.

Alice swallowed again, "I know you guys are a bunch of selfish jerks but if you hadn't made me come back… I would never have met Cheshire, I would never have been able to save you all, and I wouldn't have been able to say goodbye to my mom. All of that is enough for me to thank you for." She looked at Cheshire, "I love you," she added.

Cheshire laughed softly, "I know," he said, closing his eyes, a smile moving over his face. "I know you love me, and I know I love you beyond what I should be able to feel."

"It's strange," Alice admitted.

"It's completely nutty, but I love it." Cheshire opened his eyes. "I love you,"

Alice beamed. She looked at the others and gave them a nod. "I'll hold you to that tea party," she said as she and Cheshire started towards the door.

"Two sugars or one?" Hare called after her.

"Three!" Alice laughed.

They stepped into the darkness.

--

The door swung closed behind them, plunging them into what should have been total darkness, but strangely enough, their reflections were glowing on the floor. Alice studied it for a moment and smiled. "Nice,"

Cheshire snorted, "It's creepy,"

They stepped further into the room, and than suddenly the floor creaked loudly.

Alice reached out and seized the sleeve of Cheshire's shirt, her fingers digging into the fabric, "is that supposed to happen?" she asked.

"I don't know," Cheshire said meekly. He looked just as frightened as Alice.

_'It's been a while, Cheshire Cat.'_

Alice jumped. She looked around but there was no one else in the room. "Who…"

_'I am all, and nothing at all,' _The voice said, _'I am the one who plans, and understands, and yet allows things to change. So much has changed.' _

"What changed?" Cheshire asked.

_'Everything,´_ The voice said, _'Alice was never meant to leave, and she was never meant to return. You were never meant to fall in love, but you have…' _

Alice looked at Cheshire, "I wouldn't change that." She said.

_'I would not ask you to. I ask that you be happy.' _

"What are you really?" Alice asked.

_'I am Wonderland, the heart and soul of wonderland.' _

"Nice to meet you," Alice snorted.

_'You're still a silly little girl, but you are queen. They choose you and I respect them all the more for it. But you know what you must do… you must destroy me.' _

"But if you are the heart of wonderland, what will destroying you do?" Alice asked.

_'A new heart must be given, a new mind and a new soul must become wonderland.' _The voice explained. _'You must become wonderland,'_

Cheshire's hand clung tightly to Alice's, "What will that do to her?" he demanded.

_'Don't worry about such things, little cat, you will both be fine. You will both arrive at the banquet on time.' _The voice chuckled at it's own joke.

"Oh," Cheshire looked at Alice, "The choice is yours."

_'It has always been hers,' _The voice added, _'I have never taken the choice from her, I have allowed her to make her mistakes, and allowed her to step with her own feet, and her own mind. I ask only for her to take the weight of wonderland upon her mind. But be warned. You will never be allowed to leave wonderland, whatever happens, you must remain here or wonderland will die.' _

"I couldn't leave, even if I wanted to. Wonderland is my home, it's where my heart is most in love, and it's the place when I feel loved and can love in return." Alice explained.

_'Good,'_

A light filled the room, growing brighter and brighter.

_'I am sorry that you must see this. Alice.' _

A series of visions flashed before Alice's eyes. She knew that it was the lives she could have lived.

She saw herself in her own world, living, going to school, becoming a lawyer, watching her niece and nephews, watching her sister's bright smiling face, watching herself getting married, watching the love in her eyes as she looked into the face of a man whose name was completely unknown, she watched her body change with pregnancy, watched the birth, and watched the love fill her eyes as she stared into the eyes of a child she would never know.

The image changed again. She saw herself standing in that hallway, watched the snow began to flit through the broken windows. She watched Cheshire wrap his arms around her and hold her as they both froze to death, clinging to the idea of someone saving them.

The next image was of herself and Cheshire, setting on the wonderland thrones, King and Queen, happy, loved. She watched herself pregnant again, watched the birth, and watched as she held a child with lovely lilac eyes. Her child.

The next image was of Caterpillar and herself, sitting outside his house, he was holding her hand and they were talking softly. She watched herself lean forward and kiss him. Happy and in love. Forever.

The image that followed that was of herself, Hatter, and Hare, laughing at a tea party, talking about nonsense, both Hatter and Hare held her hands, they were happy together like that.

An image of herself in a lonely castle, staring down at wonderland, alone. So alone.

The final image was of herself and White, laughing about something. Rose was sitting in a window seat, glaring.

The images faded and Alice could breathe again. "What was that?" she whispered.

"The paths of life," Cheshire answered, he was breathing hard. "I never thought my life could go so many ways." He slid to the ground and shivered. "That was horrible."

"Did you see the one of us in the hallway…?" Alice whispered.

"We died," he answered.

"It was cold,"

"Very."

_'It was a possibility if you weren't brave enough to enter the room. Just as all of those are possible, and you must think carefully of each of them before you act. The outcomes are uncertain, but they could all happen still. Think carefully of your heart. I give wonderland to you, Alice, treat her well.' _

Alice felt a surge of warmth washing over her body. She sighed loudly and smiled. "Summer," she said softly.

Cheshire shivered and took Alice's hand, "You're warm,"

_'She is your sunlight, your air, your everything. Treat her well, my cat.' _The voice faded and was gone.

Alice sat on the floor next to Cheshire. The mirror's underneath them began to break. Cracking loudly.

A rain of sparkles danced around them.

Alice leaned forward and wrapped her arms around Cheshire, and Cheshire held her tightly. "I love you,"

"I love you."

The world faded.

--

Alice opened her eyes and stared up at the crystal blue sky. The air smelled of a rich summer day, and it was hot. She sat up and groaned. "I'd gotten used to cold," she admitted.

"What a silly thing to do," Cheshire mumbled, sitting up. They stared at each other for a moment, and than they both cracked up.

"You're very late, Alice, Cheshire."

Alice turned and smiled at White, but her smile faded when she noticed little details, like the fact that his hair was much longer than it should have been.

Rose stood beside him, smiling, her stomach huge, behind her were the twins, both had twin grins on their faces. "Welcome back," she said softly.

Hatter stepped forward, "Figures," he mumbled, "You're always late."

Alice looked at Cheshire, "How long were we gone?" she asked.

"Two years," White mumbled, "It was horrible."

Alice stood up and launched herself into Hatter's arms. "I'm sorry," she whispered.

Hatter suddenly sank to his knees, holding her. "My god, Alice, you're warm!" he shivered and pushed her away gently. "I… what happened?"

"I guess, in a nutshell, I'm the heart of wonderland." She snorted at the insanity of it. "Or something like that."

Hatter rubbed his hands together, "I think you just shocked me." He mumbled.

"Heh,"

Cheshire stood up and stretched. "I feel like I took a really good nap."

Alice frowned and thought about it for a moment, "It does doesn't it?" she smiled and stood up. "Where are they? The others?"

"They're all waiting, we told them you were back and they went to start the tea and stuff." Hatter explained, "Gryphon was most upset when a year went by without you."

"Gryphon… he's back?"

"They're all back, though there are some who are causing problems." Hatter admitted.

Alice reached up and touched her neck, felt the mark that was still on her skin. "I think I know what to do with them," she smiled wickedly.

Hatter mirrored her smile. "Why didn't I think of that?"

"Because I took most of your evil side,"

Hatter laughed loudly.

He held out his hand.

Alice stared at it and remembered the vision she'd had. She smiled and tucked her hands behind her back playfully. "I'll walk on my own, thanks."

Hatter smiled. "Have it your way, your highness."

"Oh, I don't know about all that queen stuff. Maybe wonderland should take a break from me being queen. I think being the heart of wonderland will be enough trouble." Alice admitted. "Can't we choose a new one?"

"Of course, of course." White said, smiling. "I'll get you the list of people who might fit the bill. You wouldn't believe the amount of children who've joined our list of wonderland creators."

Alice smiled knowingly. "I think I can image."

Cheshire reached forward and touched Alice's hand, he looked at her.

Alice smiled and shook her head. "Later," she said softly.

Cheshire sighed and nodded his head. "Why am I not surprised?" he mumbled, "You still owe me though,"

"Am I missing something?" Hatter asked, turning so he was walking backwards.

"You miss very little, Hatta," Cheshire groaned.

Hatter's grin widened. "You'd think you'd have already gotten around to that, what with being gone two years."

"Oh shove off!" Cheshire stumped away.

Alice giggled and shook her head. She looked up at the clouds that were beginning to float through the sky.

This was her wonderland. Completely hers. If she wanted, she could be selfish and keep it all to herself. But she knew that keeping wonderland alive was more important that keeping the doors closed.

She couldn't be both the heart of wonderland and it's queen, she just didn't know how to express it to the others.

But before she worried about the future, she was going to have some tea, enjoy Hare's wonderful food, and take a nap under the oak tree. Than she'd have a nice long talk with Gryphon and find out everything that the others weren't going to tell her.

She absolutely wasn't going to handle the relationship factors at the moment. There were too many options floating in front of her. Hatter and Hare, Caterpillar, Cheshire, and some she wasn't even thinking about when she stood in front of the mirror. Dormouse, Gryphon was also slightly on the list. White… well, White came with something else, and Alice was pretty sure she didn't bend that way.

She giggled at the thought.

"What are you laughing about?" Cheshire called back to her.

"Nothing!" she laughed.

Nothing at all.

Just her life. Her wonderful and insane life.

The end

--

EN: I'm so grateful to type those two words. LOL. Alice's story is over! Yay!

I had a blast writing this for you all, and I will come back to do edits, but for now the story is over. Have a happy Christmas, and a great new year!

**Story finished 12/24/08**


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